It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiiday so remove my name from every obelisk and my image from every mural, book, and porn flick, because I feel threatened and want to hide. So let it be written…so let it be done.Bagwine’s favorite serpent and walking, talking toxic waste dump, Ann Coulter is skeeered. Poor thing.
Coulter has successfully petitioned the Palm Beach County (FL.) property appraiser’s office to remove her name from certain records so her address does not appear to the public.
The beauty-less butthole had been receiving mean notes and unkind shouts at her house. Shocking!!!
Folks, when America’s most caustic, conservative, concubine of verbal excrement can dish it out but can’t take it, it can mean only one thing…We are a country of pussies. Speaking of which, it is rumored that Britney Spears may once again be with child. God is either very cruel or the funniest mo-foe around.
I wonder if she will breast or bottle feed. I guess either way, the kid better like the taste of vodka.
In spite of the writers strike continuing on, Carson Daly’s late night show is going back on the air…proof positive that the writers have the networks on the ropes. My coffee and smokes are tasting really good this morning, if only I had a fresh cruller to go with them. I don’t like crullers but I love saying the word. Cruuuullllllerrr. Say it yourself, you’ll feel better. Say It, Dammit!!
I just unintentionally blew a smoke ring that looked just like a silhouette of Donny Osmond’s left nut…Odd. Not the smoke ring, but the fact that I knew it was Donny Osmond’s left nut.
Rats!! Now, all through my head I am hearing, “And they call it puppy looove-uh-uh-uhve.” This cannot be good. Ahhhh make it stop and while you’re at it bring me the head of Brigham Young. WTF was that all about?
Hey, did you hear that the inventor of Gatorade died this week? I heard that even though he was indeed dead, it was reported that he died refreshed and chock full of electrolytes. Sookie Sookie, and ring my bell.
I emailed Pastor Rod Parsley of World Harvest Church yesterday, and invited him to rebut all of the nasty things I have been saying about him. He hasn’t gotten back with me directly, but a crow did crash through my window last evening and tried to peck my eyes out. I figure it was a messenger of Satan on Rod’s behalf.
Well folks, it is time for me to take a shower and get reacquainted with my friend, “Hand”. Enjoy your day and the upcoming weekend. Spend it having crullers with a Mormon.
Cheers!!
48 comments:
left nut...crueller...hand...head... pregnant ...butthole...pussies ...breast...
OK folks, that sums up today's rant... no need to thank me ...this is a public (or is it pubic) service we offer for free
Good Weekend Matt-Man
Bond: Vin, Vin, Vin...You fail to see the profundity of my words. I, much like Carrot Top, fall victim to people missing out on the subtle nuances of our comedic offerings.
I think you failed to notice the delicate balance between angst and ennui that lies within my post.
Have a Good One too, and Cheers!!
Ennui? I can't believe you uttered a French word. What the hell is the world coming to?
I heard Dr. Robert Cade was laid to rest in a coffin that resmbled an orange and white Igloo cooler. Also that he was cremated and will be dumped on the head of the coach of the National Football Champs!
Songbird: You shouldn't be surprised. I have always Sprechened sie Franco pretty darn goodly. Cheers!!
Cheeys: Ha...That would be a sight to behold. I hope all went well. Cheers!!
Dang it! I don't personally know any Mormons. Is it OK if I have a donut while watching Marie & Jonathan videos instead?
Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
I'm craving a cruller now, among other things....
Peace
Trav needs a Mormon to share his cruller? Come down here, Trav - we got Mormons o' plenty!
Travis: Have at it Trav, I know it is your fantasy. Cheers!!
Odat: Do you ever yearn? Cheers!!
Songbird: I guess there are plenty of well-stocked pantries in Arizona, eh? Cheers!!
And what did you DO with that crow Matt? What's for dinner? :P
Crullers and crow...hmmmm TASTY.
SMOOCHES and have a good one.
Angell: "Crullers and Crow", that does sound like a tasty dish, or perhaps it sounds more like an exoctic sexual position. Cheers!!
no crueller for me....I prefer a chocolate raised.
and I am surprised to took coulter this long to go into hiding. I'd like to send her mean notes.
You and Donnie...just a little bit rock and roll?
Happy Friday Mateo
Kat: I wish she would go into hiding permanently. Cheers to you and here, enjoy a handful of Paper Roses courtesy of Donny's sister.
Poor,poor Ann.... You can't stand the heat then get out of the freakin kitchen!!!!!
What's a cruller?
Have a great weekend!!
SMOOCHES!
Dixie: Ann is probably afraid that one of the 9/11 widows will kick her bony ass. A cruller is a donut that looks like a circular, slithering catepillar. Cheers!!
Say hi to the your friend, "Hand" for me. Is he a twin? I think I've met his brother. ;0
Real: Why yes, yes he does have a twin, and after reading your comment he is very jealous. Tell his brother that he says Hi. Have a good weekend and Cheers!!
Folks are sending nasty things to Ann Coulter? Who’d a’ believed it possible!
Nick: I know...I was shocked myself, because she is such a warm soul. Cheers!!
I have made this picture of you my desktop background.
108: I am very humbly honored and incredibly aroused at the same time. I hope that my image slides from your monitor to your Hard Drive. Cheers Bay-bay!!
Is it your goal in life to make people piss their pants with laughter???? Cause you might do it someday ;o)
I am a sassy biatch so I can't tell ya' if you really make me laugh or not...now that I am done with NaNoWriMo, and will continue my novel writing at a more sedate pace and be roaming the blogosphere more often, I will be more in tune with your world....
That said crullers are good with java, and Spears better not be preggo!
oh and my goal is to join the vineyard someday :)
Gah, The Osmonds. I loathe them. I grew up in Utah in the 70's. They -and their teeth- were everywhere. Props too them, they all had davinci white smiles decades before the rest of us. Them and George Hamilton. And the CHIPS guy.
Jimmy Osmond....shudder. He is enough to make me ponder sewing shut portions of my personage if you get my continental drift.
Side not on the topic of the Or Gas Mo Chair...a co worker just showed me a vibrating pillow. He better give that to the office staff for XXX Mas.
Sassy: Thanks for stopping by again and that I almost made you pee.
Knowing that you nearly urinated while reading me makes me feel closer to you. I will certainly add your site to my links so I don't omit visiting yours. Cheers O Sassy One!!
Starr: Dont you dare close your Gates of Venus just because a toothy, portly Mormon exists. I hope that this Christmas brings you joy and good vibrations. Cheers!!
profundity angst and ennui
OK, my head is about to explode...
sorry dude...that is just too high-brow for me
ummm you still like me though---right?
i am still welcome her right?
even if i do not get your angst and profundity and ennui?
Bond: Of course you are always welcome you are half of the Irish-Italian syndicate.
And by the way stop by tomorrow because I have a new Inky and Lola and Sunday's Church Disservice features a very special picture that I'm sure you will love. Cheers!!
Hey...anyone named Rod has got to be a dick, right?
If someone goes after coulter they are called a critic, if they go after Al Franken then they are a terroristic right wing death squad.
Coulter reminds me of an insult comic..except no one gets the jokes.
VE: You are correct sir, thus sayeth the Lord. Cheers!!
Hammer: Bada Bing...If they are looking at her huge ass Adam's Apple they might not get the joke but the get that she had a sex change. Cheers!!
Dammit I missed all the fun today...Looks like it was a good day brother Matt!
Roger: It was a great day but it wouldnt be the same had you not dropped by. Cheers!!
Another late arrival to the party. I got nothing today, it's already been said.
Jeff: See how ya are? Cheers!!
Thanks for the ear worm butt head;-)
TB: Happy to pass it on my dear. Cheers!!
That raven must have crashed in and immediately said: Nevermore!
The rest of us must visit regularly just to see where that stream of yours wanders.
Jamie: That crow was quite the ascerbic one. I like to see where it wanders myself. Cheers!!
wow who knew Carson Daly still wasnt on MTV. Or is he? Is MTV still around?
Sparky: Those were some of the same questions that rattled within my head. Cheers!!
The brain...the Matt-man brain...formaldehyde and a jar!!
I don't even know what a cruller is.
Hey, I heard this morning that the army uniform has a crotch durrability defect. Just the sort of thing for Matt-man to investigate. Don't you think?
"it was reported that he died refreshed and chock full of electrolytes."
LOL! Great obituary.
I heard that Tiger Woods just got a 100 million dollar contract from Gatorade...does that mean the check will bounce?
Julie: But I have a beeyooteeful mind. Cheers!!
Marilyn: Thanks for the tip that does sounds interesting. Cheers!!
Corky: Welcome aboard and thanks!!
Matty: Sounds like the deal could be dead in the water. Cheers!!
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