I know that you probably do not care what I want for Christmas, but if you do, this (along with a Divinity degree from Rod Parsley’s World Harvest Church and Bible College) is what I have longed for…an Inflatable Bondage Sofa. And actually, those two gifts go hand in hand.This sleek piece of orgasmic furniture has it all baby…padded wrist and leg restraints, soft comfortable head rest, and a nice air cushioned seat for that special lady’s ass.
I have always thought that if I was going to
But hey, you already knew I was a caring kind of guy.
The thing I like most about this chair of inflatable iniquity is that it cleans up easily. I like to incorporate alfredo sauce and chicken livers into my adult play times and with the Bondage Sofa’s wipe-clean, space age exterior, I can enjoy all of the lust without the muss and fuss. Merry Christmas to me and all of my Ho Ho Ho’s.
The best thing about this gift is that I could use it not only for my own base pleasures but also use it to save souls.
If I get this special sofa AND a Divinity Degree from Pastor Rod Parsley’s World Harvest Church and Bible College, I could strap lesbians in the chair two by two and I, dressed as Noah, could deliver them from their deviant lifestyle. Matt-Man, using bondage to deliver souls from bondage. I am a genius.
I am going to contact Pastor Parsley today in an attempt to set up an interview with him so I think I’ll also pass this idea along to him in my email request.
Hell, if my idea is successful, say goodbye to his flimsy little Miracle Healing Handkerchiefs…Rod and I could start giving away (for a love gift of $500.00 or more) the Inflatable Bondage Sofa or as we will refer to it, The Big Comfy Couch of Redemption.
Wish me luck in my endeavor to bring Rod Parsley to the interview table and on my selfless quest to save souls.
Cheers!!
48 comments:
You could start your own inquisition with that thing ;)
:::Puts on best LURCH voice::: Youuuuuuuuuuuuu Rang?
Well you did say BONDAGE....and that is what Turn calls me...hehehehehehe
I take 5 of The Big Comfy Couch of Redemption they look like good Christmas gifts ;D
Matty - always thinking of those less fortunate than himself. What a guy.
Sir-
Tested the chair. As per your request, all straps were used.However, your friend Metalmom was less than enthusiastic. She was not as cooperative as you led to believe she'd be.
Therefore, I left her restrained and ran like hell.
Sincerely,
Quality tester 14
PS. you might want to send someone to check on her.
Jeez, I thought everyone had one of these chair thingies. Hell, we are on our third one. They wear pretty well but over time and with a LOT of use, they come apart. ;)
Hammer: Point well taken. Thank you and Cheers!!
Bond: That's great Vin. Cheers!!
Roger: Consider them on thier way to you. Amen. Cheers!!
Songbird: That's very refreshing to find isnt it. Cheers!!
Mr QT 14: I'll check on Metalmom as soon as the Alfredo Sauce heats up. I think she'll be a little more cooperative after a few hot dollops of that. Cheers!!
P.O.P: Thanks for the tip. I'll make sure to keep an extra sofa on hand and a Bicycle Tire Repair Kit nearby as well. Thanks for stopping and Cheers!!
Great! I'll smell all cheesy!
Metalmom: I have a thing for Philly Cheese Steaks!!
When you try to strap Schmoop to that thing please take video. Please ;-)
TB: If I were to suggest strapping Schmoop into it, the likely result would be my dead body being strapped into it. Cheers!!
Real: Watch? You can participate if you'd like. If your soul doesn't get saved after one session, we will just have to do it over and over and over...Cheers!!
geeze matt....Or is it "jesus-matt"...my soul needs no saving.........i lost it a long time ago....;-)
Peace
This must be the ladies model. I only see one head rest.
Jeff: Ba dump bump. You cheeky monkey, you. Cheers!!
Odat: Fear not...Place your corporeal being into yonder chair and ye shall find the light and the way. As well as fining me lurking over thee. Cheers!!
I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE I WANT ONE
It's ok....
Angell: Do you want one? Cheers!!
Easy to wipe clean and everything!
Jay: Advances in sexual accessories have never been more fulfilling!! Thanks for stopping by and Cheers!!
I'll have whatever Angell is having ...
Certainly that piece of equipment could grant salvation, or at least lead to screaming "oh God!"
eh...skin sticks to plastic when it gets warm.
big comfy couch and bond-age...sounds familiar somehow?
Jamie: And there's not a damn thing wrong with that, is there? Cheers!!
Kat: No Stickage, that's what the Alfredo Sauce is for. And please, dont tie Vinny and fantasies together. Cheers!!
Oh God! Oh God!
Get on your knees and worship with me!
Metalmom: Praise Jeeeeezus and Hosana to the Three Wise Men coming!!
Ummmmm...
Comfy Couch
Bond-age
Ummmmmm, have I heard that somewhere before?
Good freakin luck on your road to saving souls...
Dixie: Bless you and Cheers!!
ooh my ex would be bummed, he thought he had an original idea on this one!
Starr: Silly man, doesnt he realize that according to most women, men never have original ideas. Cheers!!
Dahlink, I do not know what he is thinking. He is currently engaged in some sort of pity party that I mercifully only have to hear about via email.
He's in the angry chair, not the orgasmic chair :P
Starr: I guess he misses going supernova with you. Cheers!!
Umm... good luck with that. The chicken livers might be a little over the top though.
Marilyn: Organ meat is vital to this particular process of redemption. Cheers!!
Wow bondage AND dress-up.... PERFECT!!!!
Cheesy: Would you like to defrock me and ride my ark? I hope everything is going well with your sister. Good to see ya. Cheers!!
I worry that I'd pop that thing with my big ass and hard nipples.
108: fear Not!! The holy bonds of the Comfy Couch of Redemption are stronger than any of your naughty bits...Unless you're some kind of devil chick or something. Cheers!!
Now there's a gift that I am sure won't be duplicated! That's for the person who literally has everything. I suppose wearing spike heels is a no no on that chair...LMAO
;o)
Jillie: Just the thought of you wearing spike heels while sitting in that chair has made my Christams wishes come true. Cheers, and God Bless You!!
Hmmmm. Matt-Man, my friend, the workings of your ingenious and devious mind always astound me. Thank you (again) for the smile upon my face.
Matt-man, you get your ass in that chair right now so Schmoop can strap you in. (cracks whip)
It just doesn't look that secure to me.
What if she bounces away, like she's on a hoppety-hop?
Or what if you popped it by accident, with a sharp object?
~Oswegan
Nick: That was very kind of you. I hope your leg is 100% very very soon. Cheers!!
Lisa: Me in the chair with Schmoop and you cracking the whip!!? Be still my heart!! Cheers!!
Oswegan: Why must you add reality to my fantasies!? Cheers!!
So my Lady looked at the picture and then looked at me. She arched her eyebrows...and not in a seductive way.
She pursed her lips, and I thought she was going to comment. But then she just shook her head.
Regrettably, I'm thinking she's not so much into the chair.
Travis: Damn, that's a shame Trav. I guess I'll give yours to Lindsay Roberts. Cheers!!
So I suppose the degree from Parsley's House of Pain could fit in your stocking.
Julie: With room to spare. Cheers!!
Post a Comment