Monday, November 26, 2007

War on Christmas: Enter The Matt-Man

In order to keep up with the expanding and ever-quickening pace of the Christmas Season, Bagwine Ruminations is going to shift into the yuletide mood beginning today.

This not only allows me to share more of my good tidings with you, but gives me a step up on those evil secularists who are waging war on Christmas and the birth of little baby Jesus.

Bill “My Book Makes An Excellent Christmas Gift” O’Reilly, John “Can I Become Anymore Insignificant” Gibson, Sean “Paranoid Blockhead” Hannity, and all of the other fine folks and defenders of the faith over at Fox News…Hear me now:

I salute you and stand firmly with you against the attacks fostered by those Christian bashing, free-thinking, Nattering Naybobs of Nativity Haters.

So, later today, I will be kicking off the Bagwine Christmas Season by posting my rendition of Matt-Man’s Twelve Days of Christmas. Hopefully, it will bring a smile to your face, and act as a big old FU to those would like to kill the Christ child and lynch the Magi.

Until then my friends, this is Matt-a-Claus saying bless us one and all, and Ho Ho Ho. Oh shit, can I say that?

Cheers!!

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Saw you over at Manic Monday but couldnt find your post so Im posting my comment here!

Great Manic Monday post! I'm not sure if my post lived up to par or not... hmmm. Please come by and visit my blog, tell me what you think! RANK IT! LOL

Desert Songbird said...

Matt-Man does Christmas?

Oy vey.

Schmoop said...

Deb: Hi and thanks for stopping by. I'll check your post out today. Cheers!!

Songbird: But of course...Some even refer to me as the Embodiment of the Christmas Spirit. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

we get to see your embodiment?

Desert Songbird said...

Katherine, don't encourage him.

Schmoop said...

Kat: By all means. Full Frontal embodiment, although I will be wearing misletoe around my waist. Cheers!!

Songbird: Dont discourage her. Cheers!!

Odat said...

Who you calling a Ho?
Peace

Lisa Ryan said...

ooooh, Matt-man sings a new song! (she claps excitedly)

Oswegan said...

Dear Tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny, little fat balled up fists.
Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We’d just like to thank you.

Dear Tiny, Infant, Jesus...

~Oswegan

Schmoop said...

Odat: I knew somebody would be offended. Cheers!!

Lisa: Oh my is that really you. You are back!! My Christmas wishes have all come true. Rowwwwwr. Cheers!!

Oswegan: There's definitely something Golden in those holy diapers but I dont think it's fleece. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

oh damn! the mistletoe will hide everything....

Lee Ann aka Dixie said...

Yes you can say HO HO HO... doesn't offend me in the least... I look forward to the Twelve Days of Christmas by Matt Man... this should be good.

SMOOCHES~

Schmoop said...

Kat: Hell, one thread of tinsle would hide everything. Boo Yah and Cheers!!

Dixie: I hope you had a good Thanksgiving, and I shall try not to let your Christmas spirit down. Cheers!!

jillie said...

The 12 days of Christmas huh? Where can I get my very own copy???

I am dying with anticipation here Matt...can't wait

;o)

cheers to ya!!

The Boy said...

What is it with Christmas already, it isn't even December! Can't even blogland have the simple decency to let a holiday wait its turn?

Schmoop said...

Jillie: Soon, very soon...Cheers!!

Boy: You are showing your UK side. Here in America we run everything into the ground. Cheers!!

Marilyn said...

Your faith is amazing... astounding... hardly to be believed. :)

Schmoop said...

Marilyn: I am truly blessed. Cheers!!

Travis Cody said...

Can I still visit, even though I'm a heathen consumerist?

RW said...

Ol'saint Matt lol...

Sparky Duck said...

Yipppeeee!!! Early Christmas gifts

Liz Hill said...

Ah you've been promising the 'embodiment for almost a year! You still owe a shot of you in the Bagwine gear dear Matty--and are ya gonna do another contest this year ya fine fellow?

Schmoop said...

Travis: By all means my good man. Cheers!!

Roger: I like that!!

Sparky: Arent they great? Cheers!!

TB: No contest, I have a track record of flubbing them up. Cheers!!