It’s a windy, rainy Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio. As this is the Sunday before Christmas, I think it appropriate that today’s Church Disservice be but a simple prayer in hopes of a safe and peaceful Holiday.Please, bow your heads…
Heavenly Father we pray that all of the partakers of the Bagwine have a safe, peaceful, and joyous Christmas…A time spent with family, friends, and an endless supply of Wild Irish Rose. We pray that while we might go overboard with drink, we will have sense enough not to get behind the wheel.
Father, we pray that Aunt Myrtle and Uncle Joe keep their mouths shut and dear God, please make them keep their clothes on…especially Joe.
Lord, seek out my sister and tell her to keep that little toy poodle bitch of hers at home. I swear, if she brings it this year, I am going to shove a candy cane up the dog’s ass and feed it chili.
If possible O Holy Father, could you perform an Immaculate De-Conception on Jamie Lynne Spears? While not likely for me, we pray that all of the Bagwine readers enjoy endless hours of hot, yuletide sex.
As for me, I’ll settle for you keeping the porn site link on Dana’s Blog working well. And maybe someday she will do her own video…with me.
Finally, Lord, we ask and pray that all non-believers in the little Baby Jeebus, be either smited or at the very least be forced to give a sponge bath to Rosie O’Donnell and/or Bill O‘Reilly. Lord, let us all, have very merry Christmas.
Amen, and Amen…
I am off this morning to pick up something for Ryno, and to purchase some SPAM. I mean, c’mon, what’s Christmas without the salty, juicy goodness of SPAM? It would be just another Tuesday.
Cheers!!
Note: If you, like I do, enjoy the voodoo of Haiku, you must check out Turnbaby’s BlogTalk Radio show tonight at 8 P.M. EST. For details, click HERE.
30 comments:
Awww Matt-Man, there is nothing more prized to me than reading my name and PORN in the same sentence on a Sunday morning! Now, if you can figure out how to make that video with you in Ohio and me in Illinois, let me know *wink*
Dana: It was kinda touching wasn't it? Speaking of touching, I'll get back to you on the video logistics. Cheers!!
Cheesy: Amen. Pretentious, bitchy, yapping, little devil dogs. Cheers!!
Ooo a Sunday porn link and pimpin' the show ALMOST makes it okay that you posted a picture of the Dick.
TB: Porn, Pimpin', and Dicks go hand in hand. Cheers!!
Amen I say to you, brother. Oh, and have fun shopping with the last minute crowds.
(You did NOT just mention "porn" and "Dick" and "hand in hand" all in the same sentence, did you?)
Songbird: Pax Vobiscum Baby, and yes, yes I did. Cheers!!
I'm so excited to have met someone with my same love for little dogs!
Let's roast them all and toast our WIR to the silence that will follow :)
I'd be happy to get SPAM in my stocking. A little fried spam with some seasoning is simply delicious.
Leighann: That is the best idea have heard all week. Cheers!!
Worm: Hey there Worm. Damn Straight, and melted Velveeta on top. Cheers!!
As always Matt-Man Thank you!
dis-Service was great and the BloodyMarys just right. How you always get just the right amount of horseradish, I'll never know.
Oh, the "Afterdark" porn link, SWEET! Someone asked, "who looks at porn @7:00 in the morning?"
GUILTY! ;)
Al: I am glad that you found the sermon stirring and the Bloody Marys delicious. Is there a bad time to look at porn? Cheers!!
Free Porn links eh? Allow me to share with you thehun.net. It's like the Dex of smut. Merry XXXMas!
Starr: Thanks for the link. I guess Christmas came early for me this year, but then again what doesn't come early where I am concerned? Cheers Baby!!
You are most welcome. There as another one that was like a clearing house of sorts as well. Not dutch like The Hun, which just makes Hun all that more special.
Anyhow I can't remember the other and my ex boyfriend variety is in the middle of some sort of pity fest and not on email. I guess when you are unemployed and living with mom for 10+ years that happens and all the free porn in the world ain't gonna fix that boo boo :P
Starr: At least he's not making porn with his Mom...Is he? Cheers!!
Matt, honey, I just don't know anymore :P
Ya know I made it through the Sweeney Todd gorefest without any nausea but that last comment of yours got me :P
Starr: Consider it my present to you. Cheers!!
Merry Christmas to you Sir!
Travis: Same to you and Pam my good man. Cheers!!
Why this was most christain of you Matt-Man. Where are all those religious freaks from the video? They'd like this even more I think. Bwahahahahah. Porn, pimping and dicks do go hand in hand. Thanks for the laughts. Oh, ditto on the little yappy dogs. Have a great day and a very Merry Christmas. :)
Sandee: HA...Thanks and have one helluva good Christmas and a Happy New Year. Cheers to you and your family!!
Amen!—and Cheers!!
Nick: Cheers and Amen to you and Alex!!
Merry Christmas to you and yours, Matt Man! :)
Happy Christmas, Matt-Man... may that chunk of mistletoe you have superglued to your belly button bring you lots of holiday action.
Peace...
108: No one has ever said that. I appreciate that. Cheers Kyra!!
Turn, Mateo, Porn, Pimpin', and Dicks in hand...how FUN!
Merry Christmas to you and Schmoop and Ryno...and all of yours!
Maybe they could come out with a spiral sliced SPAM for the holidays. That might be kind of festive.
CrAzY: Same to you dear. Cheers!!
Kat: Right back at ya hot stuff. Cheers!!
Jeff: Good idea, but I have founs something better!! Cheers...
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