Days Of Wine And Biscuits

Yesterday I talked to a dear old friend. Her voice took me back to those halcyon days of High School…

Those days of my dazzling portrayal of Ali Hakim in Oklahoma!, awkward teenage sex, and bottles of Boone's Farm.

In order to protect the identity of my friend, I will drop the “N” from the front of her name, and just refer to her as, “Ancy”.

In addition to school, Ancy and I shared many an hour working together in that bastion of haute cuisine, known as Hardee’s.

Cool things always happened there.

Fryers catching on fire…My friend Alan losing his eyebrows while trying to light the grill…stock room sex.

Two of my fondest memories include my friend Ancy. Opening up with her on the weekends was always a hoot.

Ancy was in charge of making the biscuits due to the fact that she was only slightly taller than the prep table.

Watching her make these biscuits was disturbing. She kneaded the dough in a hail of flailing arms…

Captive inside a haze of flying milk and flour, she gyrated to the Muzak, contorting like a diminutive whirling dervish.

When it was done, there she stood. Her entire body covered in lukewarm dough, and two inches of a flour based glue.

Ancy looked like a Paper Mache project gone horribly wrong. But by God, we had biscuits.

I also have a very vivid memory of a couple of us picking up Ancy and stuffing her into the commercial ice maker.

We got the entire upper half of her body into it.

The distinct “chinking” sound of freshly made ice bouncing off of her forehead is with me still.

I feel sorry for Ancy too.

It seems any woman I went with in the past, wanted to kick her ass because they thought we were having sex.

I don’t think Ancy and I have ever kissed, let alone shagged. And, how could one want to hurt her anyway?

She is five foot nothing and adorable, like a Troll Doll only much cuter, having blonde hair, and sporting actual boobies.

Go Figure. Some people just don’t realize that members of the opposite sex can be just friends.

If I come across ol’ Ancy, I’ll get her picture so you can “meet” yet another friend of Matt-Man.

Speaking of pictures, tomorrow is Half Nekkid Thursday, and I will be putting out for you.

In addition, since tomorrow is Schmoop’s Birthday and because Dana has shamed her into it, Schmoop will post one as well.

Until HNT,

Cheers!!