It’s Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio. Somebody kill me.Last night turned out to be Folk Music night at the Bagwine digs.
Hours of music by the likes of The Kingston Trio, Ramblin’ Jack Elliott, Pete Seeger, and Gordon Lightfoot among others filled the room.
Unfortunately, while the tunes sounded smooth, the Bagwine and beer went down even smoother.
Matt-Man has himself a freakin’ hangover.
On top of my hangover, I am once again blessed to have sinuses that are plugged up tighter than a Scotsman’s wallet.
My morning has been one I hope I never relive.
As my head pounded and my hands shook, I managed to make coffee. The coffee maker evidently was under the weather as well.
It puked all over the counter in a display of projectile water and grounds vomiting unseen since the time that the Columbian drug cartel whacked Juan Valdez.
I managed to salvage a few cups. With my coffee and cigarettes in hand, I drug my ass to the couch and stretched out.
I flipped on the TV, and Corky, our cat, popped herself up on the arm of the couch and stared at me.
I began flipping through the channels when the batteries on the remote control died.
To add insult to injury, the station it ended up on was showing The Doodlebops. I wanted to cry. I reached for a smoke.
I put the smoke to my lips and then I spoke my first words of the day…“Fuck, where the Hell is my lighter?”
Tears, tiny, tiny tears…
Evidently Corky sensed my pain and anguish and began licking my bald head with her 80 Grit sandpaper tongue.
So here was the scene...
A 43 year old man lying on a couch in boxers and a T-shirt, with an unlit cigarette in one side of his mouth, drool coming out of the other side, watching The Doodlebops, as his cat performs oral sex on his sweaty skull.
Holy Baby Jeebus, take me now.
And now, let us bow our heads and pray…On second thought, bowing my head may make me puke, so let’s just say…
Grand Poobah of Glory and Salvation, bless us one and all. Amen, and Amen.
I want to thank Starrlight for a fine suggestion for this week’s Sunday Serenade™, but alas, it must wait.
I need to play a little of the hair of the dog that gave me this hangover. Ladies and Gentlemen, Pete Seeger.
Cheers!!
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48 comments:
Appropriate seeing as you seem to feel ticky tacky. Thanks for not disappointing Matt-man. 80 grit ha ha ha. Good Sunday to ya :) When growing up, folk music was played in our home too. I feel blessed that my folks appreciated music.
Lu: I am surprised that my fingers were able to even type this out. I think I'll sip on a beer as I watch Meet The Press. Ugh. Cheers Lu!!
Sorry you are a hurtin' man butt thanks for the plug *giggling*
Thanks for sharing that video...now I have a hangover and I don't even drink!!!!
"...80 grit sandpaper tongue...."
hahahahaha.
Peace and feel better.
I too grew up with Parents who had a love of Folk Music..I love it today.
Sorry you are feeling under the weather..
HUGS!!!!!
TB: Ha. Aren't you clever..Cheers!!
Odat: Her tongue is huge too. I've never seen a bigger tongue on a cat. Cheers!!
Leelee: A few hangover drinks will help. And tonight I am making Sloppy Joes and Waffle Fries. Mmmmm, good for what ails ya. Cheers!!
Matt-Man, you know you liked it when Corky licked your head ...
Sorry you've abused yourself (yet again). Maybe a good puke will help you feel better.
Just don't do it in my direction.
Poor Matt Man, we've got Doodlebops and puke around here too! If I have to wash another bundle of puke filled sheets, I'm gonna scream!
Here's to a day full of violent films with no kid-friendly content and solid poop!!!
CrAzY: Sorry to hear that. I don't miss those days. Good Luck with all of that. Cheers!!
BAMN!!!
My heart bleeds purple peanut butter for you my poor dejected brotha.
Jeff: That is so very nice of you. Now, if you could bring me six Burrito Supremes, A Quarter Pounder with Cheese, and a Pizza, I will to will you all my worldly posessions. Cheers!!
I refuse to buy a game console. However, I did help the PITA buy a digital camera yesterday. She was very nice to me...when she wasn't holed up in her room taking pics of her boobs.
I bought a new coffee pot too. At 6 am this morning it peed all over the counter. It is going back to Wally World since it's not housebroken. Not sure what you should do about one that vomits... retire it maybe... Take some aspirins and turn the TV off. Whatever that show was... it looks like it would GIVE me a hangover. Feel better!
Awwwwwwwww Sunday morning and "Meet the Depressed"
Does it get any better??
Ya it does.. I don't have a hangover!
[If the crud settles in your chest like my sinus's did Mucinex is the BOMB]
Wishing you a ticky tacky quicky recovery!
Doesn't Gen. Hayden make you feel ....all secure?
Winter: How hard is it to make a coffee pot that works properly? Oy Vay!! Cheers!!
Cheesy: All I know is that if I settled into your chest, not even Mucinex could pry me off of you. Cheers!!
Micky: Ha...Yeah, he really fills me with confidence. In an Elmer Fudd kinda way. Cheers!!
Yes!!! That's who he looks like LMAO
I've never really thought of "Meet the Press" as being a hangover cure, but rather something that will make me want to start drinking again. Tim Russert is the biggest douche bag on TV.
Micky: I know. He looks like a shorter, more well-kempt, Karl Rove. Cheers!!
Jay: It's not a cure, just a thing I do every Sunday morning. Why do you compare Russert to Massengill? Cheers!!
Sending good thoughts, a lighter and some batteries your way.
GB: A lighter and batteries...That sounds like the foundation of some painfully good sex. Thanks. Cheers!!
quite the scene & visual ya gave. i am sooooo glad u described. ; ) (lol)
if nothing else- at least ya have quite the skilled cat to keep ya company in times of despair (lol) ; )
All made out of ticky tacky!
Ya know Elvis Costello does a kick ass version of this song on the Weeds soundtrack. Which also features a song called Die, Motherfucker Die which sounds like you might be in the mood for.
As a former smoker I know there is NOTHING more irritating than really needing a smoke, and finally getting to sit down and have one and have no lighter. I used to use the stove burner :P
Smile: A little catnip and milk on the package, and Corky is ready to get at it. Cheers Smile!!
Starr: I looooove Elvis Costello. Oh my lighter was around, but it was the fact that I had to actually get back up off the couch when I was in a near coma state. Cheers!!
Of course you love Elvis, you are a man of superb taste. Sent you a love song via email for you to sing to your coffee pot =)
Starr: I got it and thank you very much. As soon as The Neeleys episode on Food Network is done I shall cue it up. : ) Cheers!!
[but it was the fact that I had to actually get back up off the couch]
I feel the pain, and hear the muffled word........shit!
Micky: Thank you for understanding my plight. Cheers!!
*HERE* is your virtual ice bag, Matty! :-)
Sanni: My head thanks you. You are too kind. Cheers!!
Sanni is much kinder than I would be. I would just look at you and say, "It's your own fault, you stupid fuck. Get your ass off the couch and make yourself better."
Then again, you knew that, right?
Elvis Costello ROCKS.
Sorry you got yourself all drunk and now are suffering for it! Hangovers are the worse...then no lighter and the coffe pot puked? I would say this is definately NOT a morning you would like to remember. As for your kitty...tee hee...mine licked my nose while I was sound asleep about a year ago. I ended up with a brushburn on it! So consider yourself lucky she only licked your beautiful bald head. :-)
I happened to like that little ticky tacky song...twas cute!
Take care of yourself Matt-Man.
Hugs,
Kimmie
P.S.
"Oliver's Army" by Elvis Costello Rocks as does "Red Shoes". My brother's band sings alot of his tunes. :-)
Kimmie
Songbird: I wouldn't expect any less from you. Elvis is da man. Cheers!!
Kimmie: Love the Elvis Man. I feel much better now that I am watching the NCAA tournament and have a few glasses of libation in me. I hope your excursion went well. Cheers!!
I damn near lost my mind when you said the tv was stuck on the Doodlebops! (the baby that's here loves that shit!) I felt your pain.
I could barely stop laughing long enough to type this!
PS.Hubs thought this was funny as hell!(He sympathized with "Where the hell is my lighter?")
Metal: They are creepy, aren't they? And your Hubster is correct...
It is worse having smokes and nothing to light them with, than having no smokes at all. Cheers!!
hope you've been able to get some decent coffee and clear your hangover...
I kinda hope you never got the cigarette lit....smile.
Kat: I know...I know. And thanks. I've lost quite a bit of weight and now quitting smoking is next on my list. Cheers Kat!!
thanks for re-uniting me with Pete...and I am a LARGE Kingston Trio fan!!!!!Hang in there....
ahhh, nothing like a Sunday morning hangover! hope you are feeling better by now Matt-man. Now I have to go take another peek at your Ukelele.
man oh man matt...what an image for your opponents for president will have....I'm glad that the days of negative campaigns are over....
I fondly remember the days of hitting every fast food place in town searching for the cure of a hangover.....
hope you're feeling better.
Phfrankie: I love em too dude. Cheers!!
Lisa: Mmmmm look all you want dear. Cheers!!
Teamster: I'm working on my next hangover now. Cheers!!
Since I am terribly lated to services, I hope that Jeebus has shown mercy and unstopped the wine drenched sinus and healed the remorseful head pounding so that you can once more face Monday.
Jamie: I think he hast given me food and drink to sustain me for yet another day. Cheers!!
OMG I saw the Doodlebops in concert...I'm amazed you lived through the day.
Tug: Oh Tug, I am so very, very sorry for you. Cheers!!
Much as I really want to post you a comment promoting Scotsmen's generosity I fear the stereotype is more a truth.
It's a beautiful picture that you paint.
Topchamp: Ha...Thanks. If only I had captured it in a picture. Cheers!!
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