I haven’t seen my He has ignored me during his Spring Break.
Ignored ME!! Dear Old Dad!!
His life has spun out of control and he has been taken over by a powerful addiction to a Japanese borne drug…
Wii.
Ryno’s Aunt and Uncle, who adore him, and their two kids, who are close in age to Ryno, came to town from Chicagoland last Friday.
They have been staying with Grandma and Grandpa all this week.
They brought with them joy, familial camaraderie, and the evil svenjolly-like sway that is the Wii.
My son is gone…He has not been at home. He doesn’t return my messages. He’s become a stranger.
I hurt. How could he choose to spend his Spring Break with kids his own age playing this Japanese mind control machine?
Maybe, just maybe I’ll see him today or tomorrow. I can only wish. I can only dream.
For other Moms and Dads out there who suffer like I, have hope. I have started PAWAW: Parents Awash Without A Wii.
Let the healing begin.
And now, the Bagwine Ruminations Comment of the Week…
It was an incredibly tough decision this week, but one comment drew me in due to its rich, soy sauce based imagery.
The lovely Deb of Let Me Go On and On commented on my Wednesday post that mentioned teenage sex in the stock room of Hardee’s.
Deb talked about her own first hand witnessing of teen restaurant sex. The picture she painted of Asian lust among the cookery was poetic:
“I worked in a Chinese take out restaurant with another friend who was 14 going on 21. She and another Chinese man used to have stockroom sex -
no words because of the language barrier, but weird grunting sounds being heard as the woks were a'stirrin'.”
Who doesn’t love statutory Chinese porn? A wocka wocka…A wocka wocka. Way to go Deb!!
If you get the chance, please stop by and congratulate Deb on ropin’ this week’s COW by clicking HERE.
Well folks, wish me luck in breaking the dark circle of addiction that has bound my son.
Maybe I can at least talk to him for a few moments today, if he is Wii-Free and lucid. God help me.
Enjoy your Saturday, and Cheers!!
P.S. Good Luck to the Xavier Musketeers!!
59 comments:
My suggestion...just become his dealer and get the Wii and keep it at your place... He will be around you more than Lindsey Lohan avoids wearing panties....
Hopefully an intervention is not called for. You could have a blogathon for doantions to get a wii. Help this Player get a player and reunite him with his son. Pull at the heart strings a little. Hey get a boot and stand at the stop lights for donations. If you can't beat them, buy what they have and lure him back to you... Or wait it out patiently. Surely he sees what we see :)
Bond: Not bad advice, but there are two things...
Number 1. If there was a Wii here, I'd be the one who was addicted, and Number 2...
Please don't reference my son and Lindsay Lohan in the same comment ever again. Bada Bing. Cheers Vin!!
Lu: I could do the street corner donation thing you mentioned. I could hold a sign that says:
"Will Work for Wii"....Cheers Lu!!
My dear poor MattM~~
Don't be such a Wii-tard.. you should have gone over and played WITH them! You think this week hurt? Wait till he goes off to Cancun with bikini clad spring breakers and DOESN'T invite you!
Cheesy: You are right. I should have gone over and spent the week with the Ex In-Laws. Brilliant!!
Awww..poor Matt...Just keep going to PAWAW meetings...and I'm sure it'll get better!
Good choice on the Cow award...congrats Deb...very funny!
Peace
Odat: Will Do. And Congrats to you on your retirement buddy. Cheers!!
Come on now you got to get over that.
What self respecting clone of any generation wants quality addiction time with ...the old man?
You can thank Jeebus he's not addicted like the rest of us to Bagwine! [or is he?]
My kids are very abused. We don't own a Wii and rarely even allow them to break out their ancient Playstation.
How stone age of us?!
Mick: I dont think he will EVER drink the Bagwine. He sees in me every reason never to partake of it. Cheers!!
Leighann: I hear ya, baby. Ryno has a couple of game systems, but wants his own Wii.
Both his mom and I ruthlessly and humorously shot that dream down. Cheers!!
Ok it's time to play rough....you must one-up the Wii by taking him to A. A Baseball Game B. Miniture Golf C. Go Karts or D. A game of Laser Tag....follwoed by a meal out..and possibly a movie.
Do kids still do that stuff? I know any of those options would be more fun for me anyway..
Leelee: We've done all of those things. But have no fear, when Algebra rears its ugly head, he will want his Dad.
BTW, you missed something that I put into the post just for you. Cheers!!
"he's like some kind of sven-jolly"
I got it..lol
HUGS!
You should get two of those game systems. That way you could play with your Wii Wii and nobody would think twice about it.
Leelee: Ha Yes. Cheers!!
Jeff: Ha. Not bad Jeff. Here's a cookie. Cheers!!
Jeff do you really believe anyone thinks twice about Matty playing with his wee wii
TB: The important thing is that no matter how well or poorly I play my Wii Wii, I end up a WINNER. Cheers!!
I am an evil mother - we live in a Wii-free zone - unfortunately my husband has taken that to mean something entirely different ...
Dana: Are you saying that the Hubster never gets to experience the joyful sound of yelling "Weeeeeee" during sex? Cheers!!
Turnbaby, outside of him and schmoop probably not. And Matt, don't you end up a weiner?
You have no Wii?!?!? So, that organ thing was just a tease, right?
Jeff: Wiener? Tsk tsk, more like Bratwurst. Cheers!!
Songbird: A tease? Oh no, no, no...My organ is very real. Cheers!!
Hopefully soon enough Ryno will hit rock bottom and then you will be able to free him from this life-destroying hold the Wii has on him. If your lucky he'll move on to less addictive things like MD 20/20 and meth.
haha .. Okay, I'm kidding about the meth.
I had all kinds of warm encouraging words to give you about children growing up...giving them roots and wings and all that...but THEN I got to you wishing luck to Xavier...
no wonder Ryn-Man doesn't want to hang out...sheesh...what the eph is wrong with you?
Jay: Kidding? Hell, meth I can get him. Cheers!!
Kat: Hey Now. I gotta root for my Ohio colleges. But Ryno, he has dreams of playing point guard fot those rotten Tarheels of UNC. Cheers!!
I think Ryno would be best served playing for the Jesuits there in Cincinnati. That would be the perfect place for him.
Of course, the Bulldogs could use a new line up now that their stars are graduating...
Songbird: As far as Xavier, his Mom's side of the family aren't big fans of Catholics.
And for Butler, by the time Ryno goes to college, I think he will want more drive time between him and Mom and Dad than Butler affords him.
Of course, if either were to give him a scholarship, that's where his scrawny ass is going. Cheers!!
if Ryn-Man wants a bit more drive time...he could play for the Bruins...ya know....the guys that are gonna kick Xavier's ass?
My son is 29 and he is always on the Wii! College educated, great job, and still loves to play with toys!
I must admit, bowling, golf and guitar hero are a blast! Winks!
You have to think of this in a more positive fashion Matt-Man.
My theory is this...I would rather see the kids at home or friends house playing the fun stuff (not the morbid, violent stuff) than on the street corners making deals with the scum of the earth. For me it gave me the comfort of knowing where my son was. The best thing that didn't change from when he was in his teens until now is...I still always know where he is...home at his own house still trying to conquer all the different games he has accumulated over the years. Now it is guitar hero! Oh is that fun!
You really must get a Wii...I guarantee you and Ryno will have lots of quality time if you do, I would bet on that. And no playing with the Wii Wii! With all that action you claim to get, there should be no reason for self satisfaction!!!! Winks!
Smiles,
Kimmie
Kat: I agree that if X beats UCLA it would be an upset. However, rest assured, Xavier is one of the hardest teams to guard because they have four or five guys who are legitimate scorers. They are in no way a push over. Cheers!!
Kimmie: It was mostly tongue in cheek Kimmie. I am actually happy that he is enjoying his time off from school.
And Ryno does have Guitar Hero which we have played many times. Come next week we will play basketball again and do his homework together.
He's the apple of my incredibly near sighted pair of eyes. Cheers!!
You know....you just confuse the hell out of me? LOL! I guess I still have to figure you out!
Isn't that guitar hero a blast?! I get such a kick out of it, and a bigger one watching this 6'+ son of mine playing it too!
I am happy that you have a son Matt-Man, and do all that fun stuff AND homework with him. What a Dad! :-) Yeah, kids have a way of being our apples don't they?
Hugs,
Kimmie
A scholarship is the only way he'll be able to go to Butler; I think they're about three times as expensive as Xavier!
Look at it this way Matt, if he's playing Wii all the time at least he's not out gettin some little gal prego.
Kimmie: You know me as well as anyone who has known me the short length of time that you have. Guitar Hero is pretty fun. I'm a good Dad but always room for improvement. Cheers Kimmie!!
Songbird: What school isn't expensive anymore. Ai Yi Yi. By the way, I am typing this, fresh out of the shower, wearing nothing but a towel. Sexy, huh? Cheers!!
Trukin': Now, that is just the kind of thinking we don't need. HA. Cheers!!
You want eggroll with that?
Mo: Ha..Shit. You never fail to crack me up Mo. Cheers!!
Glad to put a crack of a smile on your face, my friend!
Hope you and Ryno get some quality father/son time this weekend!
Mo: Ya Always do. No Ryno today. I've called 3 times and no answer. Maybe he's just ignoring me altogether. Cheers!!
matt oh matt.....you know how much katherine (kat to you ) is a die UCLA fan...once a bruin always a bruin...you really opened a can of rotten worms by hoping against them.....her favorite color is blue.....(dodger blue)?
go bruins and go #48 and #24...I'm in multiple Nascar pools and they are my picks for the week....
by the way...I have two sons 27 and 25....they eventually came back to playing with dad...they're my golfing partners now. but they're still addicted to the stupid video games.
and to make my weekend more pleasant.....GO BRUINS!!!!!
Teamster: My son will always need me because I am the only one who appreciates his sense of sarcasm without him fearing getting konked on the head.
As for the B-Ball game, I am not a huge Xavier fan, but now I really hope they win just so I can post the following by Kat on my site tomorrow:
"Bruins...ya know....the guys that are gonna kick Xavier's ass?
Cheers!!
Perhaps you need to play the Wii as well so you can become addicts together.
GB: That certainly makes sense, but I already have enough addicitions. I can't deal with another one. Cheers!!
It is futile to resist.
Want to see your son? Buy the damn machine.
I finally gave in after 11 years of marriage and honestly, I think my husband loves the Wii as much as the kids. I hate video games, but I've been known to bowl and beat the shit out of my husband boxing. And I have been very sore the next day.
As gaming goes, it's pretty cool.
At least go over there and play it with him. You might get a few mumbles between plays that pass as father-son conversation.
But, alas, once Pandora is let out of the box, there is no going back. Hence forth your son will see all chapters before this week as "Those dark years of inequity, misery, and ennui before the majesty and glory of Wii lightened my life," or maybe B.W. Before Wii.
Good luck!
Oh, and I used to work in a music store where my beloved, but super slutty bbf at the time, Crystal, would give out favors to the thug-a-licious style boys in our store. What favors? Why honey blowjobs in the back room of course. She did it simply as a favor. No romance. Just fuckbuddies.
I just thoght it was crazy to finish another 4 hour shift with a sticky crotch. I can't imagine it was comfortable, but then I go crazy if I so much as get syrup, honey, anything sticky between the webs of my fingers. It's like nails on a chalkboard. Shiver.
Scout: I think Ryno and I both can survive the lack of a Wii. He has plenty of other things to occupy his time and his mind.
I hope that you manage to get thorugh the weekend without any honey, Krazy Glue, or Schmegma in between your fingers.
Cheers!!
Are you saying that the Hubster never gets to experience the joyful sound of yelling "Weeeeeee" during sex?
I'm saying that he could certainly have that pleasure ... if he'd play his Wii!
Dana: That sucks...Maybe he needs a new power pack. Cheers Dana!!
Kidlet has Wii at her dad's house as he as all things shiny and new in the electronics and gaming world. Which makes sense as he is an Intel jockey. She is fairly blase about it. Now her cd'd and her record player is a differenet story!
Email send with band suggestion as requested =)
Oh and as for ex in-laws....my first mother in law recently got a hold of me and wants to do lunch. Which is cool, cause I liked her. She had the parenting skills of a she-wolf but whatever. Lunch is still doable =)
Starr: Got the email, I may use it next week. I just re-discovered a band I had forgotten about, but Thank You.
Oh don't get me wrong here Ex-Mom likes me okay, just not something I want to spend the week doing. Cheers!!
Wii may come and Wii may go, but you'll always be the kid's old man.
Cheers!
Xavier should have continued working the ball inside the paint and given up on the three pointers that never fell.
What was their final shot percentage, thirty percent at best?
just in case RynMan called and your missed it
hugs and kisses
On the weekends, my 10 yr old would mostly like to lock himself in his room and play his GameCube or his PC for PC games... Didn't get him a Wii... yet... I think that would be pushing him over the edge...
Travis: But of course. Cheers Travis!!
Dirk: I didn't even watch it. Just saw the score a few minutes ago. That's the way the ball bounces. Cheers!!
Kat: Ha. I'd wish Davidson good luck today but I don't want to hang them with my good luck curse. Cheers!!
DB: My kid does the same some days. But I draw the line at the Wii. Cheers!!
Very ancient Japanese secret steal American children with seductive electronics...
Even more ancient Chinese secret, soy sauce is aphrodesiac.
Sassy: Ha...Very Good Mama San. Cheers!!
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