There will be no COW Award today, due to a couple of reasons…We here at the Bagwine digs are in crisis mode. Things are in chaos!!
I have misplaced something that is pretty damn important to me.
So important, that you can see I have brought the Pope hat back out and have been praying for the safe return of this item.
The item is a key, and sometime yesterday between 3:40 P.M. and 9:00 P.M., it went poof!!
There are only a couple of places where it can be.
Yet, somehow, it seems to have taken on the ability to hide itself as if it has developed Romulan cloaking technology.
(By the way, this cloaking technology initially appeared in the Star Trek episode, “Balance of Terror” which aired December 15, 1966. Don’t ask me how or why I know this.)
Anyway, I am not a happy Matt-Man…
I am asking you, my beloved Bagwine readers to say a prayer or send fortuitous instant-karma my way, so it may be found.
I don’t care which faith you are if any.
I will gratefully accept all forms of prayer, be you Jewish, Protestant, or even if you are a 16 year old mother of four Latter Day Saint living in protective custody…
Your prayers matter to me.
In fact, all you Catholics out there, give a shout out to St. Anthony for me.
I know it’s Saturday, so he’s probably drunk, but maybe he will work a little Heavenly voodoo on my behalf.
I thank you in advance for your help, and will keep you updated.
Oh, I said there were a couple of reasons that there will be no COW Award today.
In addition to the missing key the other reason is that, well…um…
Well…frankly, you guys just weren’t all that funny this week.
Ha…Just kidding. I kid, because I love.
Enjoy your Saturday, and wish me luck.
Cheers!!
Update: 1:29 P.M...Thanks for all of your well wishes and thoughts. The key has been found. Thank you each and every one. Let's Party!!
Hope to see you at tomorrow's Sunday Morning Church Disservice...
56 comments:
Well...I think Ishould get the "Cow Award" for being the first on your Blog Matt-Man!
I have NEVER been the first here! And its 8:00am on top of it! LOL!
Anyhoo...my friend, I am praying very hard that you find this missing key. May it be the one to your heart perchance? ;-)
Seriously...I hope you find it!
Smiles,
Kimmie
Kimmie: No, I lost the key to my heart long ago. It's more like an organ that has been hermetically sealed. Thanks and Cheers!!
Check under your ball sack ;)
You've handcuffed Schmoop and lost the key haven't you?
They always turn up..usually right under your nose. Thats been my experience.
In the meantime I
ll give a shout out to the gods..
awwwwww
HUGS!!
So sorry my friend...on both accounts. :-(
I was gonna say try St Anthony, but I think you have taken care of it already
Leighann: Ha. Good One. No, no handcuffs; she prefers Duct Tape. She's Kinky. Cheers!!
Leelee: Thanks you, and I hope you're right. Cheers Lee!!
Kimmie: Eh, hopefully things will all work out. Cheers!!
Sparky: I hope he doesn't take offese to my remark....or my Pope hat. Cheers Sparky!!
It's in that room over there,behind the doodad,on top of the whatsit.
Glad I could help.
Metal: Damn!! I should have checked there first. Thanks for the tip. I'll report back. Cheers!!
Ha! Duct Tape sounds more Ghettoooo than kinky to me. Or may I say a bit Hick! LOL!
I think cuffs with some pretty pink furr would be more fun. purrrrrs and kisses! meow...
;-)
But you told be I could keep the key to your heart.... I will fax it back..
***sigh***
[sending hippy chick findum vibes]
Kimmie: Schmoop is hardly a hick. Cheers!!
Cheesy: Thanks for the vibes. I could feel them touch my nether regions. Cheers!!
Well...I never said she was...I was talking about the duct tape my dear! Silly! :^D
Kimmie: Okie-Dokie...Cheers!!
I pray to St. Anthony for your lost soul all the time; adding a key intention won't be that difficult.
May the "Key Finding Gods" rain heavily and furious in Bagwine today!
So Saeth Mic-T
Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba "BOOM"
Songbird: Ha. And I really do appreciate that dear. Thanks and Cheers!!
Micky: Thanks my good man. Cheers and may the key find its way back to me.
Did you check the door? I've unlocked the door and left my keys in the door...
Hope ya found it.
I'm gonna worry about your key all day now. Or until I click on the next blog in my google reader.
May the spiritual being of your choice help you find your key.
Tony is pretty reliable. He found my parrot, your key is not beyond redemption.
Humorous comments, um, no. BUT Prayer! YEAH BABY! This chick can send up a mean prayer for Keys. And purses. And rings. And children. I can pray for all of the usual lost items.
Your name is in my prayers today, and yeah, its been there before!!! LOL
I'm crossing my finger too. Bringing all the positive energy I've got to this one.
Jen
Maybe you have one of these:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pack_rat
The key to prayer is to keyp your mind off your key problem. That way, your subconscience will keyp processing what funkey place the key item might be lokeyted. But whatever you do, don't think about that key thing...
I wonder how many karma points you'd gain (or lose) for having a non-Catholic, er uh non-Christian, go to the Notre Dame Basilica and lighting a candle for the keys.
No prayers from me - don't have anyone/anything to pray too - except the porcelain God and I haven't done that since I learned the evils of Slow Gin! I digress ...
If I were there I could offer my special finding powers as discussed in yesterday's post, but alas ... I am too far to see inside the Bagwine abode. So sorry!
My hub always lost things....and I always found them....I'll help ya look. What helps me is to walk away from it for a while and don't think about it. It'll turn up.
Peace
CrAzY: Wasn't in the door. But I've done that as well. Cheers!!
Jay: Your concern is very much...um...appreciated? Cheers!!
Jamie: Ha. Tony. What did I find that so funny? Cheers!!
Jen: Thanks for the key prayer, and probably more importantly, the others prayers. Cheers Jen!!
Hammer: I need my key, not a link. ; ) I'll chekc it out. Cheers!!
VE: I think you may be keyrect. Cheers!!
I asked Tom Cruise & he said if you mortgage your house to Scientology you'll be able to open things by squinting.
Then I asked God & he said, "Stop talking to that freaky little leprechaun Tom-tard. Tell Matt to use a crow-bar."
Good luck, I hope you find it!
Talisman: Wow, I don't know, but in the name of research we need to check that out and see what happens. Cheers!!
Dana: That's okay. I'll just picture your Thin Mint tit. Find the key or not, I am still a winner. Cheers!!
Odat: I use that practice quite alot. I am sure it will turn up. Cheers!!
Jo: Ha. I would prefer a crow bar to Scientology any day. Especially if it's going to be used to smack some sense into the boy. Cheers!!
I think you lost the key in the dream I had of you. Hmmmn. I'll cross all my fingers and toes in the hope you find it soon. Cause I gotta work today and I need the fingers and toes back. Good luck!
When you find it get a spare cut.
Ok, add the Greek Gods to your collection.
Winter: Really? Screw the key...What exactly was I doing in your dream? Don't hold back. Cheers Winter!!
Cathy: Thnaks Cathy. Nothin' like havin' Zeus on one's side. Cheers!!
I asked St. Anthony to give you a little help. If he rings your doorbell, don't be alarmed.
Karen: Thanks. If he does stop by and ring, I'll invite him in for a fifth of Sacramental Wine. Cheers!!
Awe hell, I'm a post late and a key short with my comment today but I did so want to "help". Hoping there isn't a next time, but just in case there is...my step-daughters taught this little ditty (Mantra if you will) to me long ago (they were 5 & 6 at the time): "Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, please come around; something is lost and it can't be found..." then you name the item. You say that over and over again (while you're looking) until you find it.
Which hasn't helped me (this time)find my spare house key which recently went missing, but anyway...
Now, since I'm here... if I could take this opportunity to make a shameless plea for all your readers to redirect their prayers and positive thoughts to MY SPARE HOUSE KEY, I would really appreciate it.
>^..^<
Have a Wonderful Bagwine Weekend!
Glad you founds it sounds like it was making you battier than usual :P
Dice: My good man, consider all of the uneeeded thoughts sent your way. I found mine and now it's your turn. Cheers!!
Starr: It's all good now. Time to drink and watch and listen to obscure music videos on You Tube. Cheers Pal!!
Sounds like a plan, Matt. I am stuck at work today until 3ish. Then I get to go and get my new medicines filled for the diabetes and then off to a movie. Kidlet and I are thinking Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Although I do love me some Harold and Kumar!
Well, I would've sent along prayers and good psychic energy and all that... But I was busy sleeping. Sorry!
Glad you found the key though.
Is that a swastika on your pope hat?
i was gonna be pissed that you already lost the key to my heart! ;)~ glad you found it.
no funny comments all week? maybe all the post needed some jahooni.
Starr: Oh Baby...Harold and Kumar. And then back here for drinks. Cheers!!
Motley: Thank you for noticing the swastika. You're the first!! Cheers Motley!!
Jahooni: It has been as arid the Mexican sand that you have lied upon. Glad you're back. Cheers Jahooooooni!!
Well, I'm glad the key wasn't able to make a complete getaway to that place where the lost pens and socks end up.
I knew you'd find it.. yay!
HUGS!
I was already conjuring up the dark forces to find the key but I see it's already taken care of. I had no idea where to get a virgin to sacrafice anyway. Hey, it wasn't the key to a chastity belt was it?
YES!!!!
Glad I tuned in late today. The crises is over and the world is once again spinning on its axis. Whew!
Trust my kid to see the swastika. LOL The dream is on my blog. Glad you found the key, my fingers were cramping from being crossed.
Travis: That is indeed a dark, dark, place. Cheers!!
Leelee: It's beautiful thing. Cheers!!
Knight: Virgins are pretty damn scarce these days. Cheers!!
Jen: Life is good, isn't it? Cheers!!
Jeff: It's wondrous thing. Cheers!!
Winter: Ha!! I'll be by later today. I haven't visited anyone so far this weekend. Cheers!!
Dude I thought I had a chance with the Cramden reference. Key schmee I needed the beef baby. Glad you found it.
Lu: Ha. Thanks Lu. Cheers!!
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