Monday, July 14, 2008

Big Boxes, Sick Boxes, and Probably Boxing Myself into a Corner

Ain’t Mondays grand?

Well this one, for me anyway, is.

I get to work during the day today…10A-5P. I love it.

I like my evening hours, but getting work out of the way during “normal hours” once in awhile is nice.

So, since I won’t be around to reply to comments today, I decided to just jot down a few meanderings rather than write a post that could elicit deep opinions and…um…what’s the word I want…?

Oh, and elicit a bunch of “what-not”. Damn, I am such the wordsmith.

Anyhoo, here are a few things that crossed my mind while at work yesterday…

What’s the craze with “Big Box Stores”? I don’t know, ‘cause I don’t think we have any around here.

Why do people feel the need to go purchase big boxes? How big are these boxes? WTF? I am clueless here, folks.

What exactly are they going to put in these big boxes once they get them? America…what a wacky place in which to live.

Speaking of big boxes, Schmoop just received her monthly visit from Aunt Flo. Poor thing. Schmoop, not Flo.

I called Schmoop from work yesterday to see how she was feeling. She told me that Sid, was pretty sick.

Sid, you see, is the name she has given to her uterus. I had her put the phone to her lower her belly, and I talked to Sid.

I said, “Sid, please shed all of the sanguine chunks from your lining so I can have sex with Schmoop again…Oh, and so she will feel better.”

I am so damn compassionate.

Continuing along the lines of that critical bitch lovely, giving, fragile flower that is Schmoop, she brought something to my attention.

She hates it when I type “Cheers” at the end of all of my comments. She finds it annoying.

I can’t remember why or when I started ending each comment with "Cheers", but it has become my tag line over time.

I guess I could end every comment with, “Suck It” or Blow Me” or not have one at all, but without saying “Cheers”, I feel naked.

Do you guys find it annoying? Should I drop it? I am at a loss, but she can kiss my ass I do appreciate Schmoop’s constructive criticism.

Have a wonderful Monday all. Between tonight and tomorrow, I have some serious catching up to do with all of you.


Cheers!!

42 comments:

Jay said...

Actually I kinda like it. Mostly because I generally have a glass in my hand anyway, so I just say "cheers" back and have a drink. ;-)

Knight said...

I have no idea what the hell you are talking about with the whole box thing. Hope sick box sid stops blowing chunks though. That's no fun for anybody.
Suck it!!

Desert Songbird said...

I suppose it's better than ending every post and comment with "Bite me, bitch."

Dice Mardell said...

Cheers is kinda overplayed. (oh look, here it is right here in the comment window) I still like it and all but...
Suck it !!!

Lu' said...

Big box stores suck. We had to make three trips, 2 to home depot to get wax rings, he kept breaking the seal! 1 to our little neighborhood plumbing supply, the second trip. I had for gotten about them and when we had to make that second trip, they came to mind because they are so much closer. After leaving the store I felt good supporting the "little guy" Of course when I made the third trip, they were closed so back to home Depot, I bought two of the rings. "Cheers" doesn't bother me at all, as you say it is your tag line and I think it suits you.

Dana said...

I've always been told it was a bad thing to have a big box - isn't that what kegal exercises are for?

I just figured you said "Cheers" at the end of each comment because you had a beer in your hand and you were being polite *shrugs*

Anonymous said...

It just wouldn't be a Matt-Man post without Cheers! How would we clank our glasses (or bottles if so be the case)?!?!

Ken said...

Don't stop with the "cheers"
I don't want to even think, of you feeling naked.

Schmoop said...

Jay: I admire anyone who talks to their computer. Cheers Jay!!

Knight: Now when you say Suck it, that's kinda hot. Cheers!!

Songbird: True, even I am no tthat rude...well, most of the time. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Dice: Ha. I can't use that, you just reminded me that you already do. Cheers!!

Lu: You make shopping for wax toilet rings so damn sexy sounding. Cheers Lu!!

Dana: Mmmmmmm. A kegel talented woman is so good to find. Cheers and gulp, belch!!

Schmoop said...

CrAzy: Exactly...continued good health to you and your future addition. Cheers!!

Mick: That is probably the best reason to continue using the phrase. Cheers Mick!!

RW said...

Cheers Matt!! Sorry schmoop!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

..."cheers!" is what sets you apart from the pack (that, and a mug full o' Irish Rose)...personally, I find the salutory addendum quite refreshing...Cheer On, Brother!

Schmoop said...

Roger: Ha...I think right now, that is least of her concerns. Cheers Roger!!

Phfrankie: Hey, does that make me Leader of the Pack? Glad to see you back, P-Man. I've missed your humor. Cheers!!

Cheesy said...

Hey kiddo it's your fingers doing the typing true?? Do what make you feel good!

EAT ME!! I'm a hershy bar~~

Dianne said...

ask Schmoop to reconsider her cheer-less opinion of cheers once Flo has left the building.

I love ya Schmoop but "cheers" makes me feel special so I want Matt-Man to keep it.

hope ya have a great day at work M-M - and well - cheers MFer!

Jeff B said...

When I see Cheers I like to yell back "Norm" Dunno, just seems to fit.

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

Cheers...enjoy your day helping create new alcoholics...Cheers...big boxes? Is that like buy a box of 3,000 tampons and never having to buy any again for another 4 years?...Cheers...

Anonymous said...

Matty, I love it when you "cheers" me up!

Odat said...

Don't stop!!!!!! (I bet you love hearing that, don't ya?)

Peace (I feel naked without my Peace too, altho others consider it corny).

Peace (see? I did it again, without thinking)
Peace...(ok i'll stop). :-)

Ed & Jeanne said...

I used to put cheers at the end of many of mine too but when I started to see yours I stopped. You'd been doing it longer and nobody likes a copy cat.

You are a definite wordsmith. But how did smith get associated with cool writing? What happened to Jones? That poor guy never gets the same attention...

As American as Apple Pie said...

"Cheers" is who you are. It would be weird to not see it at the end of your posts.

I would think it would annoy Schmoop more to have you broadcasting her monthly woes to the internet, no?

desert rat said...

If you don't type "cheers," how will we know if you're done commenting or just accidentally hit "publish comment?" How will we KNOW if you're DONE!? What if we're missing something and we don't even KNOW it because there is no "Cheers!?" The horror!

Liz Hill said...

With all due deference to Schmoop I do really like the 'Cheers'

And I hope Schmoop feels better soon.

none said...

Chammomile tea helps calm Aunt flo and placate cousin crampy.

Good luck!

Cheers.

Oh yeah once you load a big box it's damn near impossible to move it anywhere.

Schmoop said...

Cheesy: I bet you have Mounds as well. Cheers!!

Dianne: I had a lovely day. And I am sure the annoyance shall pass from her body. Cheers Di!!

Jeff: Should I change my name? Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Bond: 3,000 over 4 years? Wow, that's roughly 63 tampons a month. Is any woman that fertile? Cheers!!

Metal: You are such a vixen. Cheers!!

Odat PEACE AND CHEERS TO YOU!!

Schmoop said...

VE: You're right. Poor Jones only got associated with someone being in need of some type of fix. Cheers!!

Apple: She actually appreciates me writing the truth once in awhile. Cheers Apple!!

Desert Rat: It IS actually a public service of sorts, isn't it? Cheers Rat!!

Schmoop said...

TB: She will be feeling better by, oh, say, Thursday. Cheers TB!!

Hammer: Maybe it's a ploy used by Doctors who specialize in hernia operations. Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so late getting here today because my power was shut off this morning. And I'm so glad I'm late because if I had read about you talking to Sid about shedding first thing in the morning I might have barfed. But I totally enjoy the cheers!

Schmoop said...

Lady Jaye: Well I am assuming that everything is okie dokie now. Hope you had a good weekend, Chers LJ!!

Anndi said...

I hear getting stuffed in a big box placates the cramps... I guess Hammer and I haven't been looking into the same self-help websites.

You say Cheers? No shit!

Schmoop said...

Anndi: Thanks for the tip, I'll stuff her in one tonight. CHEERS!!

CreativeMish said...

I think Flo should get killed off when we're done having kids! I was 23 when I had my last child! I wouldn't have missed Flo at all, all these years!

I like your cheers! I can picture you raising that bottle of red each time you type it!

Did Schmoop tell you she didn't like the cheers while Flo was visiting??? Ask her next week and see what her response is..

Schmoop said...

Michelle: Yeah, I feel so sorry for all woman who continue to go thru this after they are done having or even thinking about having kids. Hysterectomies should be free!! Cheers Michelle!!

Evil Genus: And I am happy when I say it. It will certainly stay. Cheers Thanks!!

Travis Cody said...

Daring the wrath of Schmoop, I must admit that I like the Cheers. I know that if I dropped in on you, being the fine fellow that you are, you'd offer me a cocktail and we'd click glasses and say Cheers.

So I appreciate the virtual clicking of glasses at the end of your comments and replies to comments.

Cheers my good man!

Schmoop said...

Travis: Right back at ya, and we must meet for that pizza. Cheers Trav!!

Christo Gonzales said...

cheers

Schmoop said...

Doggy: Hey, what the hell was that? Oh I know, it was a little Doggy nippin' on my ankles.

Dude, You have been an amusement to me of late, but man, you're becoming to be a little on the, "Play Me Misty for Me" disturbing side. Go videotape your grout. Cheers!!

j said...

I love Cheers!! Keep it!

Please.

Jen

j said...

OH! And Jeff B. lives in my head I think. Norm was the thought inside my big echoing cranium...no way he came up with that on his own, so, yeah. He lives in my mind.

Jen

Schmoop said...

Jen: Will do, and I hope you are charging Jeff rent. Cheers!!