Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Out of My Way, I'm a Christian, Dammit!!

It’s a hot, hazy Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio today.

But…I am actually rested up from my “week off” and ready to get back to being myself.

I have to work all day today, but before I go, I have an actual sermon for all of us…Specifically, for all of us “Christians” in the audience.

Something hit me last night at about 9:15 P.M., in between my 14th beer and my second pint of Wild Irish Rose…

Christians, suck.

Now hold on Nellie, not true Christians, but those who profess to be Christians.

I laugh at some of these charlatans such as Rod Parsley, Paul Crouch, Joyce Meyer, and Benny Hinn, but far more dangerous is the hypocrisy that lies within our family, our neighbors, ourselves.

Far too often of late, I have been called a “fucking asshole”, a “jerk”, and a whatever body part one might like up his or her ass…

Typically, I don’t mind these aspersions…in fact, I usually find them funny. But these are words coming from self-professed “Christians”.

I do not proclaim to be anything other than an imperfect being. I make fun of myself on a regular basis…sometimes to a fault.

Why in this day is there a proliferation of people that claim to be Jeebus personified and whine that they are being persecuted?

People who claim to want to help others and yet complain about how their money is wasted on the less fortunate.

People who want eternal salvation for all, but demand a price from others here on Earth.

People who judge others while refusing to look in the mirror…

I have often taken shots at the Little Baby Jeebus, but religion aside, his message is something that everyone should agree upon.

The Golden Rule, The Sermon on the Mount, the sending back of the veal cutlet because it was under done and over priced…

I also like Lao-Tzu, the founder of Taoism. Both LT and JC were wise. No matter your religious bent or not, both ideologies are sound…They were not radicals.

Unless of course, being nice to people is a radical idea.

Amen, and Amen…

And now, our Sunday Serenade...a poem from the late, great, Dad of Matt-Man. From 30 years ago, an illustration of the height of Christian hypocrisy…

Reflections On Northern Ireland

What Christians, we,
on Sunday morn,
who to Christ
lip service give.

In song, in prayer,
we hear His words,
and touch the Book
that holds His Rule.

With wine and bread
we are all fed;
we hail the Cross
to be the Grail.

But darkness comes,
and in His name,
each side is led.

And Christ again
is crucified,
beside the wounded
and the dead.

©1981 JJM

Cheers!!

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