There’s a taste of winter here in Bagwine, Ohio today.Snow showers, windy, and a high temp of 36 will be the conditions on this Sabbath.
And yes, I will be in that virtual wind tunnel known as the drive-through from 11-7 today. Brrrr.
But, I shall persevere; handing off to my customers, 12 packs and cases of that life sustaining goodness that is liquid bread.
Praise the Lord, and pass the Milwaukee’s Best Light.
After work, I am off to check on my kid’s progress on his science report/project. He has to give a report on the element, zinc on Thursday.
Exciting stuff, no?
I have always been a big fan of zinc. On more than one occasion, zinc oxide has cleared up mysterious rashes that I incurred after having sex with mysterious women.
Many a time a smile has graced my face as I came across a shiny, new penny lying face up on the sidewalk.
Zinc is also one of my favorite words in the German language. An example of its use, you ask?
“I zinc vee should castrate da French und shitten-zie on da Brits.”
Ahhhh zinc…Just one more good reason to offer up a big shout to that Great Alchemist in the Sky. Halleluiah!!
As we conclude today’s service I ask that you pray to the Holy Baby Jeebus, and ask him to keep me warm today as I do God’s work selling beer and cigarettes.
In the Lord’s name, we pray…
Amen, and Amen.
Now go ye all, and enjoy your Sunday. I hope you think of me upon my return home tonight at 8:30. And let your Sunday evening thought of me be this:
“I hope that Matt-Man’s dork hasn’t frozen, become brittle, and fallen off.”
Cheers!!
26 comments:
You know, you're write some pretty funny shit when one hasn't had much sleep.
Songbird: Ha. Thanks for that...I think. Cheers Dear!!
Well, I sure hope your dork doesn't become brittle and fall off, dear one. Hail to the snow showers! Aren't you glad you live in Ohio?
Stay warm deary.. Am I forgiven for the douche-bag comment yet?
Songbird: Why thank you. And I do actually like the change of seasons that Ohio offers. Call me wacky. Cheers!!
Cheesy: How can I stay mad at such a sexy rehead as you? And the truth be known, you make the word, "douchebag" sound sexy. Cheers Cheese!!
“I zinc vee should castrate da French und shitten-zie on da Brits.”
*I'm still giggling over this one.*
Dearest Mattman,
Best of luck to you and your dork today. Now I'm wondering if there is a patron saint of dorks youcan pray to? It does't really work you know, but at least you'll get some false sense of security--after a couple of eight or nine it'd be all the same, you know? xo
Songbird: Well I had just awaken and was punchy. It was a chuckler. Cheers!!
Hope: I thank you for your penile concern. Maybe I'll pray to St. Peter. Bada Bing. Cheers Hope!!
how did we get on the topics of dorks??
Dear baby Jeebus,
Please keep me in Matt's thoughts so he stays hot and his dork doesn't freeze, become brittle and fall off.
Amen
St. Peter!!! Man I AM hungover. I can't believe I didn't catch a snap. Oops I guess I shouldn't say snap right now. Best of luck with your enile protection program.I mean- you DO have one right?
It is so fortunate that there is one place on the tubes of the internets that we can count on for myriad topics discussed among gentle folk on the sabbath such as Penile Enhancements and the care there of.
All praise to the big guy's offspring.
are you implying you are whale sized?
I need to go back and check out those the HNT posts....
stay warm mateo.
Hey bud, you'll be home soon after I type this.
I'm sure that you kept all your customers satisfied in a chilly way.
Vodka: I don't know, but I have always found that word amusing. Cheers!!
Anndi: Ooooo Baby, thanks. It must have worked. Cheers!!
Hope: I was surprised myself that you didn't p/u on that. It didn't snap, thank God. Cheers!!
Jamie: Ha. Proof positive that any topic can be one of enlightenment. Cheers Jamie!!
Kat: I would never imply that. Too many people can offer testimony to the opposite. Cheers Kat!!
Micky: They were well-served. As I was I when I got home. Cheers!!
Lu: You make a good point. And evidently you were correct. Cheers!!
Jesus Matt I go out of town one day and your dick falls off :P
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