Time to move on and sweep away all of the political thoughts from my head…And folks, there is only one way to do that…
It’s Stream of Consciousness time!!
I am off all day today, so you know I’ll be drinking…much. I think I am just going to drink beer today. Why? I don’t know.
I do know that I have a moustache whisker that is ingrown or something. Damn it hurts. Maybe I’ll trim my goat today. My goatee morons…ya know, my face? Oy!!
I don’t have a real, barnyard type goat. But if I did, I’d name him Cecil. That, I think, is a good name for a goat. Shamma lamma ding dang and suck my toe.
Oh shit…I just had a political thought. Has Sarah Palin begun her run for Prez in 2012, yet? I think we’ll know she is running when we see her in a $10,000 dress while whackin’ a moose.
Okay, Matt-Man…clear those thoughts. No more politics. Think about sex, Matt-Man. Hey, I have a new lust in my life…
Who, you ask? Erin Esurance the cartoon insurance chick. She is frickin’ hot.
I do love me some babes with pink hair. I don’t care what my deductible may be, bend over Erin. I’m gonna plow right into ya.
Hey…If a truck carrying Pringles went over the side of a bridge and landed in the water below, would the authorities refer to it as a chipwreck?
I have a song in my heart right now, unfortunately I don’t know the lyrics. That really blows. I’m really getting hungry right now.
Speaking of eating, if Abel had been eaten by his brother, would that have made his brother a Cainabel? Only GAWD knows.
During the Presidential election I was called a Liberal by some, and it was said that I only pick on Conservatives.
Not true…the other day I was in a store and witnessed some hot, yet touchy feely uber left wing babe dealing with her annoying, screaming brat.
She was saying, “Timmy needs a time out. Doesn’t he Timmy? Stop crying or Mommy will put you in time out. Does Timmy need a time out?”
No honey, Timmy needs a swift kick in the ass.
I wanted to say...
Hey…If a truck carrying Pringles went over the side of a bridge and landed in the water below, would the authorities refer to it as a chipwreck?
I have a song in my heart right now, unfortunately I don’t know the lyrics. That really blows. I’m really getting hungry right now.
Speaking of eating, if Abel had been eaten by his brother, would that have made his brother a Cainabel? Only GAWD knows.
During the Presidential election I was called a Liberal by some, and it was said that I only pick on Conservatives.
Not true…the other day I was in a store and witnessed some hot, yet touchy feely uber left wing babe dealing with her annoying, screaming brat.
She was saying, “Timmy needs a time out. Doesn’t he Timmy? Stop crying or Mommy will put you in time out. Does Timmy need a time out?”
No honey, Timmy needs a swift kick in the ass.
I wanted to say...
“Hey Timmy, I’m gonna pull your daddy’s wife’s pants down and smack her on her smokin’ hot ass, demonstrating what you are gonna get if you don’t shut the hell up. Capiche?”
Okay, I think I have purged myself of the political thought. I may be ready to talk about other things during the coming days.
Beginning tomorrow, I will be ready to talk about what I am best at…whatever that is. WTF? My right pinky toe hurts. Much.
Oh well, that’s it for my stream. And now, if you’ll excuse me I must go discharge another type of stream.
Enjoy your Thursday. Mine will be consumed with me…well…um, consuming.
Cheers!!
Okay, I think I have purged myself of the political thought. I may be ready to talk about other things during the coming days.
Beginning tomorrow, I will be ready to talk about what I am best at…whatever that is. WTF? My right pinky toe hurts. Much.
Oh well, that’s it for my stream. And now, if you’ll excuse me I must go discharge another type of stream.
Enjoy your Thursday. Mine will be consumed with me…well…um, consuming.
Cheers!!
34 comments:
Uncanny. It's as if you had never missed a stream.
who has been sucking on your pinky toe?
I'll stop by later and see if you figured out what the song was!!!!!
Songbird: My stream is always strong and damn bear continous. Cheer Dear!!
Kat: Ewwwww. I would never allow anyone to suck my toes. Feet, especially mine, are disgusting. Cheers!!
Vodka: Hopefully I'll have an answer for you. But I will be drinking, ya know. Cheers VM!!
During the Presidential election I was called a Liberal by some, and it was said that I only pick on Conservatives.
Well, whomever said this clearly wasn't with the Matt-Man that I was with. I wouldn't call what you did to me "picking on" - Oh baby!!
Dana: See folks? Dana agrees. Wait..."Oh Baby!!?" Heyyyy, you're being facetious again, aren't you? Man, that turns me on. Cheers!!
To answer your question about Sarah Palin and campaigning in 2012 -I saw on the Today show this morning, people from her campaign staff in Alaska saying they are starting now to regroup, get things lined up to have Ms. Palin as a candidate for, you guessed it, president in 2012. Scary thoughts this early -not good for my peace of mine.
Jeni: If Stevens wins (they are still counting votes, but it looks as though he will) and then resigns or gets expelled from the U.S. Senate...
There has to be a special election for his seat within ninety days. She will run for that first, and I betcha she wins it. Senator Palin....Oh Dear Lord!! Cheers Jeni!!
Crying children in public drives me insane. There has to be some sort of governmental law about something like this. Maybe your boy Barack can get it done? Can you put a call in for us? Cheers, baby!
You have CRUSHED my fantasy of drinking bagwine on your couch while my cheesy toes get sucked... fuck~
WAIT!
(Does schmoop like toes?)
Lady Jaye: I will try to get a hold of him on that very issue. Something MUST be done. Cheers Hot Stuff!!
Cheesy: More bad news, Cheesy. Schmoop hates feet more than I do. You're still welcome to sit on Kelly and drink Bagwine though. Cheers!!
Good luck with the consuming. Consume some for me.
Karen: Thank You for giving me purpose. I was looking for a rationalization to drink even more. I will drink more just for you. Cheers Karen!!
Dianne: Ha. If that's true, that makes me Satan. Holy Cow. Cheers, you vixen, you!!
Thanks for the reminder...I think my goat needs a trimmin' too!
RLL: I'd be more than happy to help you trim your goat. I am sooooo damn selfless. Cheers, Gorgeous!!
Yea!!! Back to "normal"!!! Hey, save me a beer will ya?
You're fallin' behind...I've already got my first Obama action plan post out there! Seriously...beer? It better not be that cheap light beer!
...and field-dressing said moose...
Give yourself time, and forgive yourself for the political thoughts that are sure to come up over the next few days. Don't go cold turkey, that only leads to heart break.
We're here for you. Remember, wean yourself slowly.
And for the love of Pete...if you see something political that just begs to be snarked at, just do it baby!
Schmoop: Well as you know, I am back to "normal". Cheers Sexy!!
VE: I'll check it out, but as for me, I was almost burnt out to the point where I didn't even post today. You are such a blog stud. Cheers!!
Phfrankie: She could always make wilderness-based porn flicks. Cheers P-Man!!
Travis: Ha. Thanks. And yeah, politics is my crack. If I see something that jumps out, I'll be all over it. Cheers Trav!!
Giggle: Ha. Thank You, and I like your boot-kickin' attitude. Cheers!!
Hi Matt-man, sadly, that's all I've got HA!
I'm so glad the election is over. Now I can get back to enjoying the crass wisdom of the Matt-Man! I've missed the good stuff. Not that your political posts aren't good - I'm just easily overwhelmed. Seeing as I spend most of my time whelmed in the first place, getting to the over point doesn't take much at all. I'm babbling, but it's in relief. Much like pissing, really. ^_^
LOL!
The other day Kidlet and I were at the store and I truly think Little Timmy and his mom had been beamed in from Ohio. Except of course his mom was not hot at all just another typical granola eatting slight mossy looking, Subaru driving, Huppie -Yuppies who try to act all green and hippylike, fyi.
Anyhow Gracie Granola was talking to Tantrum Timmy in that same stupid wheedling subserviant sing song voice about did he need some time to cool off? Was he expressing his anger? Blah blah blah.
Kidlet - the blurter - popped off with, "Who the fuck trys to talk reason to a 2 year old? Smack his ass or get him the hell out of here."
Really loud.
Half the store DIED laughing and Gracie Granola and Tantrum Timmy, exited stage left.
Lu: Just seeing you is all I need, Lu. Cheers Buddy!!
Boo: Ha. You Rock. I hope all is well wif ya. Cheers Boo!!
Starr: Ha. Brilliant. You know what the worse thing is? If she talks to him like that, he's gonna end up talking in third person just like Bob Dole. That's child abuse. Cheers!!
Ha! I can't stand people rationalizing with their kids at inopportune moments. It's like they're trying so hard to keep it together so the rest of us think they're the serene beings of the parenting world.
Kanani: Ha. Very good. I can count on one hand how many times I spanked my kid. However, to this day, those little swats took hold. Cheers!!
Screaming kids in public are my biggest pet-peeve. Actually parents who just let their kids "get it out of their system" are my biggest pet-peeve.
If someone wants to be a new age hippie mom I'm fine with that, just don't take your spoiled precious little snowflake out in public with you.
Jay: I never let my kid get away with that. If he went on an uncontrollable tantrum, I reasoned with him for about 20 seconds, and after that, if that didn't work, I hauled his butt far, far, away. Cheers!!
So I guess we can quench the rumor that Matt-man has a foot fetish.
The problem with having a rotten kid in public is that you get in all kinds of trouble if you use any kind of effective and time efficient punishment on them. That's why I rarely left the house for about six years.
Marilyn: Ha. You kill me. I am so glad that you get to leave your house now, Marilyn. Cheers!!
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