Sunday, December 21, 2008

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Praise Jeebus!!

It’s a brutally cold and windy Sabbath here in Bagwine, Ohio.

I am working the beer mine today from 11-7. 11-7 is not only the hours I will be working today, but 11 and 7 also represent the temperature when I get to work and when I get off.

Brrrrrrrrrrr. And just to add insult to injury, the wind chill in my virtual wind tunnel will be 10-15 degrees below zero.

Holy Crap…If only I could drink Rose while I am working.

As like many of you are experiencing, it’s hard to keep up with everyone as the birth of Baby Jeebus draws near.

I hope you are all well, and planning on having a most excellent Baby Jeebus Birthday Bash this week.

As for our service today, I want to pass on a Christmas miracle that happened to me yesterday.

I have been perplexed as to what to get Schmoop for Christmas. I have thought, ruminated, and even splashed some Bagwine on my scalp in order to excite my neurons.

Nothing had come to mind…well, until yesterday.

I left the house early yesterday morning to go to work. Knowing that I had little time left and even less money with which get Schmoop a present, I was dejected…

Despondent even.

And then on my way to the Bagwine-Mobile, what did I spy? The perfect gift for Schmoop…miraculously placed before me by God Almighty.

Behold the power of faith...







What do you think of it?

I think it is wonderful. I will give it to Schmoop Christmas morning. Praise be to Jeebus, and pass the remote control…

For that chair is more than just a chair…It is the lap of God!!

Cheers!!

16 comments:

Desert Songbird said...

Well...they DO say it's the thought that counts. Right?

Have fun in the ice cavern today.

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...fart flakes included?...

Durward Discussion said...

You are sending it to be deloused and fumigated first right?

Happy Winter Solstice ... It's all downhill to spring from here. May you and yours bask in the glory as here comes the sun.

Dianne said...

I just saw a header somewhere that said

Only 86 Days til St. Patrick's Day

something to hold on to

Michele said...

You such a thoughtful husband! Schmoop will love it. Right after she gets over the shock of the color among other things.

Try to stay warm.

desert rat said...

Yuck it up but I LOVE Dumpster Diving (it's part of the "Freegan" movement). I've acquired some amazing shit including ceramic flower pots with fish on them and a beautiful wrought iron and stone coffee table (which now lives under the grapefruit tree). I look at stuff like that and it whispers "possibilities" to me!

Dana said...

Oh!! It's a companion for Kelly AND a gift for Schmoop!!

People in the Sun said...

She'll be the luckiest woman in the world if you also include that "Please close doors" sign.

Jay said...

That is the awesomest chair I've ever seen!

I'm very disappointed with the quality of shit people in my apartment complex throw out. When I lived in Fayetteville, a college town, I used to find really great stuff just sitting next to dumpsters at the apartment complexes each May after classes were out.

Anonymous said...

Be sure to evict that family of rodents living in it first.

Stay warm over there - it's friiiiiigid wicked cold here in Domerland!!

snugs said...

but the suprise element is all gone..please at least disinfect it first and maybe pick up a slipcover before you have mad wild rose sex on it!

Karen said...

Schmoop is a saint. Seriously. LOL. Stay warm, big guy. It is brutal out there.

Cheesy said...

Bundle up tight ~lots of layers .. and I don't mean chickens.....

I love the chair-what's her name? Be sure to invest in some Frebreez~

Cheesy said...

BTW! Loks like the chair is a bagwine drinker... she is burping!

Sparky Duck said...

Schmoop maybe touched by god

Cinnamon Girl said...

Ahh Schmoop. I'll send the RID ;)