Mother’s Day is upon us. I hope that all of you mothers out there enjoy your special Hallmark Holiday tomorrow.
I think my mom will have a nice day because come May in Ohio, the ground begins to warm up.
Being six feet under during an Ohio winter and spring is just so cold and damp. Here’s to you and your warmed up bones Mom, you were the best!!I’m taking Ryno out to get something for his Mom this morning.
What does one get for a mother who has everything…that used to belong to me? Ha.
A nice candle, maybe?
I know that Ryno’s mom is candled out. She has enough candles to light the entire city of Bagwine for seventeen years.
Flowers, perhaps? Eh, no…for two reasons.
First of all, her mom and dad just bought her a pot full of flowers, a hanging basket, and some other flora.
And the second reason? When I buy a couple of dozen annuals for Ryno to give her, I am the one who typically ends up planting them.
And well…planting flowers in a yard that is no longer mine, kinda irks me.
Of course, they always look good when I plant them because I water them with my tiny, tiny tears as I put them in the dirt.
So, I think I’ll take Ryno to a restaurant and pick up a gift certificate so he can take his mom out for breakfast on Mother’s Day.
I think that would be sweet. They could down some eggs and bacon tomorrow and then go to church.I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right…I’m selfless. Sometimes it’s sickening how sweet I am.
Of course, even if I get him a twenty dollar gift certificate, his mom will still have to shell out another ten or fifteen bucks for breakfast.
Why so expensive for breakfast, you ask?
Because even though Ryno is rail thin, that boy can toss back the groceries faster than Rosie O’Donnell at an all-you-can-eat Swiss Steak buffet.
Oh, to have the metabolism of a 14 year old boy. The little shit. But, he’s mine and I love him.
And because I love him, I make sure we do things for his mom. Sometimes, it does tick me off that I do the things I do for her, but…
The things I do for her make him happy, help him to relax, and more importantly, I think someday he will realize that the things I did on her behalf weren’t just to be nice to her…
I was doing those things for him as well, and that I was putting his feelings before mine.
And THAT is what is important.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you mothers out there. I hope you have a great day tomorrow.
Cheers!!
P.S. David truly appreciated those of you who welcomed him to the blewwgosphere yesterday. He was quite amused.
And Starr? A Head's Up. I think he’s making travel plans to the West Coast as we speak. ; )~
57 comments:
You certainly sound disrespectful about the fact that your mother is DEAD! I'm hoping that my children remember me in a less crass way. I am happy that you love your son, but you could find a better way of talking about him than the "little s**t!" It is amazing that your marriage failed.
Oh, am I popular? I LOVE to be popular =)
You and I are going to have to hit a bar and play a game of one ups on the what I do for the ex the sake of my child. Although mine does recipricate.
We are trying to talk him into bring us 4th Meal the night we spend in the airport =)
Perhaps you didn't see it in the same light as what he intended Kacey but I didn't view it as being disrespectful at all. Some people out there, probably his mother along with many others, treat death is not this awful morbid part of life, but just an extension of life, just in a different way. I actually think the way that you said "the fact that your mother is DEAD!" sounded a lot more crass than what he had said. :-) A little shit can be a good thing as well. There are MANY things that could have been a lot worse. I found the blog completely entertaining, and sensitive, a good way to portray the "halmark" holiday. . . . WHICH, I don't believe is a halmark holiday but that's another discussion.
Jesus Matt. What kinda Cat Nip are you sprinkling around the abode? Seems to be attracting an awful lotta sand in the pussy cats.
Kacey: Really? I think my mom knows that she's dead. There is nothing to respect or not respect about that.
I do however, as I said, "she was the best", and therefore I respect her life.
Secondly, both my mom and dad had a great SENSE OF HUMOR, and if they are looking down upon me, thought that that was kinda funny.
As for the little shit thing? Gimme a break. He knows he is...I guess I could have called him, "that little imp." But, that would be gay.
D'oh, I'm not supposed to say that either. Cheers Kaycee!!
Starr: Oh she is pleasant enough. They bring me food on Sundays when I'm at work. And during Lent, when I wen tmeatless she opened up her cabninet and said, "Take it all." Ha. We get along alot better since we are no longer together.
As for the slugnutties, I have no idea. Maybe they're coming over from Charlie's site. Cuz over there, they're all "Christians". Cheers Sexy and yeah, D digs ya!!
Oh, no wonder I smell mendacity =)
Katie: While your entire comment was dead ball son, I really liked this:
"you said "the fact that your mother is DEAD! sounded a lot more crass"And yeah, it did. Thanks. Cheers Katie!!
Starr: I'm just assuming...but it's not like that that would be an out of this world assumption. Cheers!!
It's a theory that makes sense.
Starr: Yeah...Maybe in my next life I can be more like Kacey...And you know, even have her "pole dancer" first name. Cheers Starr!!
HAH! Something tells me we would not need more than singles for tips ;)
She'd LOVE me. My child did not call me back with the address where I was to deliver her pajamas -that she forgot- for her sleepover tonight.
So good mom that I am I agreed to take it over after working 11 - ELEVEN- hours. I was not amused. My voice mail reflected that. She got "incosiderate shit" from me ;0
Starr: I thought it was a cute post. Eh, fuck her. Yeah, I said that. Cheers!!
It was a cute post =)
Starr: Thanks. Nite, Hot Stuff. Cheers!!
Matt- Touchin' some nerves, eh? No worries, I think most people here get your sense of humor.
By the way, if you are a parent and you state that you haven't at least thought at one time or another that your kid is a little shit, you're full of crap. Or you may be Mary Poppins. At any rate, you're annoying and should be beaten with an umbrella.
I've always said that I get along GREAT with my parents...now that they're DEAD. Sheesh, people, it's a frackin' JOKE. Lighten up already.
You're a good dad to the little shit. And let us not forget, he's a turd off the old log.
Songbird: Damn...Frickin...Straight. Happy Mother's Day to ya dear. Cheers!!
Candice: Ha. Exactly. Happy Mother's Day to ya. I hope you and your mom get your free cunnilingus that you both richly deserve and desire. Cheers Candice!!
...I have a dead mom, too. She had a sense of humor, too. Happy
Dead Mom's Day!...
Phfrankie: Ha...Good One. I evidently have a "dead" 14 year old son.
I just called him to see if he was up. His mom handed him the phone as he lay in bed and he said...
"Dad, can't you just go out and get Mom's stuff without me; I'm still sleeping. I love you. Zzzzzzzzz."
He's so warm, so human. And so I shall. Cheers P-Man!!
It's great that you do for the X as you do. It is so much easier that way.It took my X and I a long time to get there, but things are good now for us. I did however draw the line last month when my oldest asked me if I would give it up for dad one more time cuz it's been so long since he has had any action!
As for me being called "rude" in my comment to Dave I am glad you don't mind. It just sort of hit me that his post was sort of rude so I could be rude back too. I've always felt that was acceptable in bagwine especially since he asked for comments.
I am sure your momma is looking down and cracking up at you.
Snugs: No Harm. No Foul. And you're right, all comments are welcome here. That's what I like about my site.
As for the X?...It's easier to be nice than to be consumed with hate.
However, if you don't want to give "it" to the ex for his libido's sake, give it to me. ; ) Happy Mother's Day. Cheers!!
Grand Slam post! Make the little shit get the hel out of bed! The ex is not YOUR Mom! Need me to get him up?
Or I could let you go through the "box o' fun" gift the 5 of mine have blessed me with over the years....
Most memorable were~
Fog Lights
Nut Driver set
oh and....
The lovely plastic carnations one of the twins got me when they were about 5
They were in the form of a funeral easel..Gawd I loved it when their papa gave them money and said... go get something mommers would like.. It was always fun!
Cheesy: Ha. I miss those days, and you're right...they were the best.
I can remember when Ryno was three or four and he brought his mom, three dandelions that he had hand picked. Holy Crap, I wanna cry just thinking about it now it was so damn cute. Cheers!!
my daughter's dad and I live too far from one another....and its been just about twenty years since we were married....the kids' dad and I help each other out now and then...but we were never married and it has always been about them and not us.
but you mateo...you are in a class by yourself...or at least with starr when it comes to your ex.
(you did make the little shit get outta bed right...you didn't actually do his mothers' day shopping by yourself....)
by the way... maybe you could tag the crazyass bitches with something other than "Christian".....ya know?
Most of us Christians are just bitches.
You know he let him sleep in. I can't talk, it is her dad's weekend to get her but I just went and picked mine up from her sleepover, got her breakfast and then took her to his house. I get where Matt comes from. It's just easier all the way around to just do it all.
And yeah, I am actually a Christian. But I think Matt is referring to those who run around with a blinkin neon "Jesus Saves" sign over their head ;)
I have indulged my kids too....I'm just thinkin' from a MOM's point of view...I'd want my 14 yo little shit at least present for the Mothers Day shopping...
I use the Born Again tag in all the wrong ways. When a Born Again asks if I am...I say "hell no". And latest popculture term is "jesus follower". Have you seen the parody videos of "I'm a Mac. I'm a PC" doing "I'm a Jesus Follower. "I'm a Christian" ?
they are a riot.
Over the head blinkin' neon signs....
hmmmm...
what would I want mine to say?
What would you put over Mateo's?
Your own?
Oh man, the possibilities are endless. For me, I think I wanna keep it simple. Heathen works well. Matt? Good Lord :P
I'm goin' with "Alpha Bitch"
just so there is no confusion.
I actually have practical backing for mine. According to the Dante Inferno test I am going to the second level of hell with the sensualist and horny bitches. That amuses me to no end =)
Kat and Starr: I do so like that yo two chat on here because I get to answer you in one coment. And really, I do dig it, so shups.
Kat, I went ahead and let him sleep in him because he doesn't do it very often and I am going to see him before and after work tomorrow. It's no biggie. He's a sweetie. Just tired today.
And as for what Starr siad about "Christians" and my use of the word, she is correct.
I wasn't using it in a bad connotation at all. I was using in a bad connotation as far as the way some alleged Christians act. Hell, I'm a Christian. Ha. Get it? Hell? Christian?
And furthermore...Schmooop just mentioned something about you, Starr, and me which turned me on to no end. In spite of my disavowment(?) of the Catholic Church, I may need go to confession. Cheers Kat and you'se toose, Starr.
Hello, I am not a Christian! Is that Ok? Anyhoo...I believe the three of us are Charmed. You know, Pru, Phoebe, and Piper? Only it's Chaps, Schmoop, and The Dark Lord!! What say you???
My ego is swelling (that was for you Matt) to epic proportions with all this Dark Lord talk =)
Man my office smells funky today.
Just had to share that.
Starr: Sorry, but Oh Dear God...You have no idea. When Schmoop said the other day that her place where she works stinks...It STINKS.
There's a guy there who smells less aromatic than cold death. She's washing her hair again in the middle of the day as we speak, because you mentioned "work smell". Cheers!!
Oh dear my apologies to Schmoop for bring up olfactory nightmares =(
Star: No problem...I just wish you could smell what I smell. On th other hand...No i don't. BAD.
Honestly? I was an Nursing Asst on a med/surg floor. I have had a full colostomy bag explode on me. Seriously chocolate rain for realz. I have a high tolerance for stink =)
Matt-man
I think it is great that you put rhino first. Too many divorced parents try to use the children as weapons.
For the ones who do that, I just hope the day comes when the kids realize that the manipulative parent was the tool and not the parent that was being bad-mouthed constantly.
My mother is still alive and I love her dearly but I can well envision myself enjoying the idea that the sun has warmed her bones in the ground when spring comes once she is no longer with us.
cheers
Starr: Ha...I have heard many stories 'bout that in my day. Cheers!!
David: I always enjoy your comments. I thank you for that, and for your continuing words. (That sentence sounded odd, but nonetheless) Cheers David!!
I've been called a "mother" more times than I care to mention but for some reason I still don't qualify for flowers and candy.
Hammer: Ha. That muy friend, is the comment of the week. Cheers Hammer!!
I just love when Starr and Katherine get all crazy ass bitch on you, Mateo. You so deserve it.
And if they're Pru, Phoebe, and Piper, can I be Paige?
DS
BTW, I'm too damn lazy to sign in, so sue me.
DS
Hell....I knew who you were right away...paige.
k.
Yeah Anon1 you can be Paige. Anon2 and I agree.
Taking bets that Matt is gonna see a bunch of anon posters and get all excited that he has more haters ;)
AnonS
You're a good dad Charlie Brown.
Being on the outside of a divorce where the two people do NOT interact well, I can only tell you that I admire your selflessness!
but I thought Kat, Star and Schmoop were supposed to be the witches of bagwine/Eastwick and Matty was gonna wear his silk robe and be Jack and demand a little P after his lunch...what ever happened to that scenerio? Matty would make a great Jack..Schmoop is Susan Sarrandon, Kat is Cher cuz she is the oldest, and Star can be the ditzy fertile blonde..I love it...this one works for me..whadda ya think?
I sorta liked the muse gig...and I have no idea who the charmers are...but we need a songbird fourth
Charmed was a ditzy TV show that I fully admit to being addicted too =)
I admit to an addiction to it, too, Starr. I liked the man meat.
(big cheesy grin)
Leo or Cole :P
you are a good all around dude, Matt-Man. Anyone who reads your posts long enough knows the love you have for your son, your mom, and everyone else living or deceased. Fun to stop by as always...
I'd love to comment back to all of you but it's Sunday morning, I have to go to work, and I have a HUGE hangover.
Hiya Lisa. Thanks and it is always a pleeeeeeasure to see you. Hope all is well. Cheers!!
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