Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Roeder, Tiller, and the Torch is Passed

I want to thank all of you who commented on my Roeder post yesterday.

Understanding that many of you do not like to broach abortion related subjects, I truly appreciate your input.

I also received a handful of emails from people who came by my Roeder post…people that I am unfamiliar with.

Most of the emails were positive, one was a concerned query to make sure I was being satirical, and one was promising eternal damnation for me, and quite soon I might add.

Sweeeeet!! Anyhoo…Allow me to recap and then end with a much lighter subject.

I was astounded by the number of people who came by my site due to the fact that they typed the phrase, “Scott Roeder Hero” into a search engine.

First time readers were being directed to my site by typing that in on the rate of one every 10 minutes…even as I type this on Tuesday night.

While I am an attention whore…I find this rather disturbing. I am fairly certain that those who typed in that phrase, DO think that Scott Roeder is a hero.

Roeder is NOT a hero. He’s a murderer. He’s a coward. He is an affront to the very God that I am sure he believes he is serving, and to civil, decent people everywhere.

He is among the basest of the base and to use a favorite phrase of Bagwine Ruminations, he’s a dick twizzlin’ fuck nozzle.

Unlike Roeder’s twisted beliefs, if found guilty, I do not wish the death penalty on him. I am not a proponent of such. Here’s my wish for Roeder…

Send him to prison for life and allow him to experience the beauty of what he is trying to preserve…the unfettered, undisturbed seed of God.

Antoine (Two-Time Felonious Assault, Chicago) can fill his holy hole with seed in the morning. Billy Ray (Double Homicide, Knoxville) can fill him up in the afternoon. And…

Blaine (Derivatives Trader, AIG) can pack his ass with the Lord before lights out. Yeah, I dig that.

And now, let’s move on from abortion and murder to a young guy who happened to not be aborted but his actions at times make me feel like I am being murdered…Ryno!!

Ryno had an 8th grade Recognition Dinner Tuesday night. In all likelihood, he is actually going to pass everything. Yeah, I’m shocked as well.

Anyway, his mom brought him by work last night when the event was over. Here he is with an incredibly thrilled look on his face…

Who knew that a guy could pull off an orange shirt so well? But here’s the big news kids…

While I am happy that in spite of himself he has managed to make it through the 8th grade, I am even happier about the award that he received at the Recognition Dinner…


Damn right, Bitches!! Best Sense of Humor…It’s only a matter of time before the Bagwine Torch is passed.

Cheers!!

33 comments:

Jay said...

I'm sure that a lot of people searched for "Scott Roeder Hero" just because they were looking for people who do believe that so they would have the opportunity to be outraged and appalled. We all do enjoy being outraged, ya know?

Good job on the "Best Sense of Humor" Ryno! I didn't even win the "Most Likely to be Ignored" when I was in school. That's how bad I sucked. ;-)

Schmoop said...

Jay: Yeah, I know, but I venture to guess that there is a more than tiny minority who thinks he is a hero. As for Ryno?

If only he would put as much effort into his school work as he does basketball and his comedic talents. But he's still my pride and joy. Cheers Jay!!

Desert Songbird said...

Ryno is definitely a chip off the OLD block. God help us all - another Matt!

There is a special place in Hell for those who kill in the name of God. It's called The Middle East

katherine. said...

Great Ryno passed everything...he does look great in orange...

does it count as an award if it is genetic?

Cheesy said...

WTG Ryno!

Dana said...

My how times have changed ...

What was once the "Class Clown" is now "Best Sense of Humor"? What? Were the clowns offended?

Congratulations Ryno!

Schmoop said...

Songbird: That's what his mom and grandma say too. And yes, soo many kill in God's name. Cheers!!

Kat: Thanks and he looks as good as anyone can in orange. I guess they could have called it the DNA Humor Award. Cheers Kat!!

Cheesy: He still going to retake Algebra next year. He squeaked on that. Cheers!!

Schmoop said...

Dana: Where I went to School it was called, Most Humorous. Maybe the thought of clowns just creeped everyone out. Cheers Dana!!

Lu' said...

While I relish the idea of criminal assholes getting theirs I would rather the government saved a buck and just killed them. How's that for a look inside...

Ryno RIGHT ON DUDE! I think he looks smashing in his orange shirt and that isn't as in pumpkins :)

Schmoop said...

Lu: I know you feel that way. I just feel that the death penalty is the easy way out for a criminal.

As for Ryno? Ha...Smashing Pumpkins. He'd look better in the orange shirt if in the picture he didn't look like he was about to cry...or vomit. Cheers Pal!!

desert rat said...

Ah, most excellent, Ryno! A good sense of humor is one of the best tools to have in your back pocket when navigating the convolutions of the human race.

desert rat said...

Oh, and I totally don't get people killing "in the name of God." I mean, if God is going to judge in His own good time, shouldn't the believers, well, BELIEVE that?

I figure I do my job, and He does His.

Just sayin'

Schmoop said...

Desert Rat: Ha. True, and... A sense of humor, along with an endless supply charm also lessens the blow after HE screws up.

Unfortunately, a fact that he has discovered all too well, even at the tender age of 14. Cheers Rat!!

Schmoop said...

Rat: Your second comment is another reason why I eschew the death penalty. If people believe that God is the ultimate dispenser of justice, let him dispense it in his time. Cheers again, you sexy scientist, you!!

Ed & Jeanne said...

Cool...sense of humor...is that like the sixth sense? He doesn't often say "I see...funny people" does he?

Schmoop said...

VE: Ha. Very Good. I like that and will pass that on to him. He'll appreciate that. Cheers VE!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...that award is worth more than a Rhodes Scholarship...the world needs more humor!...

Schmoop said...

Phfrankie: Damn right it does, P-Man. And more common sense as well...Ryno has both, but he chooses not to use the common sense so much. Just like Johnny Yuma, he's a rebel. Cheers!!

Christine said...

Best sense of humor? Must have gotten it from mom :-)

High school next year...the land of skipping classes, pre marital sex, drugs, breaking curfew..

Ahhh, the memories...good times.

Schmoop said...

Christine: His mom, eh? Her sense of humor involves waterboarding and the occasional two rats and a scorpion. As for his High School years? He will do none of those things. I mean, in my perfect world, he won't. Cheers Christine!!

metalmom said...

Good thing it's not called Class Clown anymore. You'd have to change his name to "Baggy Bottom" or "Sugarnuts" the clown!

WTG, Ryno!!!

Schmoop said...

Metal: You should hear the names he has come up with for himself. Not Good. Cheers Metal!!

Ken said...

Doesn't anyone know the difference between orange and cantelope?

Schmoop said...

Micky: Ha...You are such a detailed individual. Cheers Mick!!

Liz Hill said...

Congrats to Ryno.

And I think it says something disturbing about how my brain functions in that when I saw "Reoder, Tiller" in the title I read it 'roto-tiller'

Vinny "Bond" Marini said...

I own to orange shirts...Ryno..wear it proud dude...

This man does not deserve any more 'ink'

Schmoop said...

TB: Ding Ding Ding...I put them like that for that very reason. You win!! Come get your prize. ; )~ Cheers TB!!

Bond: I own one...It just isn't becoming on me. Cheers Vinny!!

Anonymous said...

Probably you think you are very intelligent. But you are not: when you laugh about a fetus, you laught about yourself (for obvious reasons), moron.

Schmoop said...

Anonymous: I never laugh about fetuses. I respect them quite a bit...as a tasty part of my daily diet. Yum-Oh!! Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

I am sure that this "doctor", if he could go back in his life, would have prefered to work as a salesman of whatever it is. Probably he thought that when saw the gun pointing at him.

Schmoop said...

Anonymous: Oh I seriously doubt it. You see, some folks have convictions and adhere to them. And, unlike Roeder they have convictions that they honor without impugning the rights and the lives of others. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

I'm thrilled for Ryno! He's such a cool guy :)

Schmoop said...

Dianne: He is pretty cool, dammit. Thanks and Cheers to ya, Di!!