Friday, August 28, 2009

Glenn Beck and Laura Ingraham: What a Stupid Porn Flick That Would Be

I’m off on Thursdays.

And, that affords me the opportunity to watch opinion shows that I don’t normally watch.

First up on my “get to watch” list was Glenn Beck…HA…What a fucking toad.

Did you know, that according to Glenn Beck, President Obama wants to create a civilian national security force which will unarm us from our liberties?

Yes, Obama said that he wanted a national security force once, but he also said,


"…the future of our nation depends on the soldier at Fort Carson, but it also depends on the teacher in East LA, the nurse in Appalachia, the after-school worker in New Orleans..."

Beck went on to say that AmeriCorps is Obama’s way to actualize his means…Beck, upon saying this, while coming close to crying, managed to hold back the reservoir of tears.

I managed to maintain my non-crying state by thinking…
Don’t we already have a civilian military force called the National Guard?

What a fucking freak show this guy is. The sad thing is…there are more than a few people who take him seriously. I don’t think Beck takes himself seriously, but if he does?

Holy Shit…I should give up everything in which I believe, and just rail against facts haphazardly. I could be as rich as Beck, and trust me, I would shed no tears. Beck tears , crocodile tears or otherwise.

I’d be laughing…as I’m sure, Beck is at this moment, as he stocks his Mormon food pantry with prime rib, filet mignon, and roe.

Then, Bitches…I got to watch Laura Ingraham as she sat in for Bill O’Reilly. I know that it is not politically correct to make fun of cancer survivors, but…well…fuck her….She’s a bitch, and I think she’s gay.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Ingraham has been “nearly” married many times, and yet she is unmarried.

Last night she was taken apart by one of her guests, a Brzezinski no less, and while I watched and wanted to bite her in a sexual way on her ample nose, I also wanted to punch her in the face at the same time. Man, what a dilemma.

Hell, even Alan Colmes…Alan Colmes of all people, put her in the basement last night!! Colmes couldn’t win an anti-death penalty argument with a guy eating chicken wings prior to his frying in the electric chair.

I used to like Laura Ingraham, but she has become a freak in order to keep up with Anthrax Coulter and Michelle “Jeebus Curing a Leper is Socialized Medicine” Malkin.

Holy crap, the Laura bitch is against Obama asking for September 11th to become a National Day of Service. WTF? Hey Bone-headed Bitch, are you against people helping their neighbors out?

And listen folks…If you think my breast cancer comment is out of line, bring it on…Ingraham has no clothes on this one.

She's a cunt…

Cheers!!

31 comments:

Jay said...

I love how making 9/11 a National Day of Service has sent the right wingers over the deep end. They are devastated over this. 9/11 is their day. They believe they own it. And now, Obama hasn't just taken that day from them, he's using it for something ..... something POSITIVE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

No fear mongering all day long on 9/11? No promising to kill brown people all over the world? And no using 9/11 as a way of showing off your super-duper, patriotism while questioning other people's love of America?

It's an outrage!

Desert Rat said...

Way to go, Jay!

I think a National Day of Service would be brilliant!

And being a cancer survivor does not automatically make one a saint any more than surviving cardiac arrest, a root canal, or another [insert geriatric band name here) reunion tour. (Although, for the record, I know some pretty awesome cancer survivors!)

Cheers, Dearie!

Scott Oglesby said...

Once again you hit the tit on the nipple friend!

I don’t know if you ever checked out that site I gave you; but if you google RR BB it’ll come up. People (especially the born again right) not only believe Beck but think that he’s the second coming of Moses. These people are ready to pack their AK’s, head to Washington and take out the Antichrist with the silver tongued mouth. And the day will come when this dickhead will rile up these glass lickers to exactly that point.

Jon Stewart nailed him last week by showing clips of him last year bitching like banshee about the horrible health care in this country, and then showing clips of him now, singing the praises of “The best health care system the world has ever known.” The only bounds that hypocrisy knows is....wait, how much are you going to pay me??

Michele said...

But, Matt, tell us how you really feel.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Hee Hee...God forbid that we as a nation take a tragedy and turn it into a day to honor the victims not only through rememberance but through helping our fellow citizens. That is so God Damn un-American!! Cheers and God Bless Lee Greenwood!!

Rat: I know some great cancer survivors as well and some who are real assholes. Thanks for the comment. Ingraham is an asshole. She makes fun of people's death, physical appearance, as well as their lives. Fuck Her. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Thanks and you're correct as usual. I haven't checked out that link yet but will. I also need to email you with some stuff I know you will appreciate. Maybe tonight after work I'll get around to do doing that. I told you am a major league procrastinator. Cheers Scott!!

Michele: HA. I almost NEVER bring out the cunt word. Hell, Schmoop uses it on a daily basis, but I typically refrain from uttering it. I just feel that in this chick's case, it fits perfectly. Cheers Michele!!

Micky-T said...

He's a dirt-bag and he knows it.

He sucks up as an idiot, to a whole bunch of other idiots.

And it got him rich!

WTF?

Dianne said...

there really needs to be quote marks around your very last line - cause so many have called her that before. In fact Walter Cronkite is shouting it down from heaven right now.

I think we need a new cable network. Maybe 'the Carnival Channel' or 'the Un-Learning Channel' or 'Forget Everything that Has Even Been Discovered Channel'

and all the Becks can be in one place

if you get a moment check out the Daily Show site for the Beck footage Scott mentions, he's sick and hurting and railing against healthcare - and then of course he's not. It's beautiful - and defines the right so perfectly.

Michele said...

The "C" word is banned from our house but I actually read it aloud to JR this morning. It was the perfect word.

BTW, we couldn't agree with you more. I wish to God that the media wouldn't allow these people a voice. Not because I want to censor them (I'm a librarian. We hate censorship) but because what they rant about is ratings based and not fact based. There are people in this country that think they are actually news reporters and not "entertainers" (and I'm using that term very loosely).

Matt-Man said...

Micky: You speak of Beck sucking up...have you seen him on O'Reilly's show? Holy Cow...Talk abut a gay porn fest. Beck would suck O-Man's dick in a second if it meant his show could stay on the air. Cheers Mick!!

Dianne: I'd still like to fuck Ingraham, preferably in the ass, if I could put a ball gag in her mouth so I didn't have to listen to her. She's kinda cute.

And I must say, I laughed out loud at the "Un-Learning Channel". You are so damn hot!!

I've seen the clips of which you and funny man Scott are talking about. They're priceless. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: I actually did a couple of posts about the history of the word "cunt" before you were stopping by here. I'll have to find them and send you the links. The history of the word is actually kind of interesting.

And yes, I know what you mean about, screw the facts, it's all about the ratings. And yet, Americans eat it up. Cheers Michele!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...a woman walks into a bar with an ample nose...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: And Matt-Man says...Would you like me to blow if for ya?

Cheers P-Man!!

Bond said...

I am personally disgusted by anyone who takes 09/11 and turns it into a political football.

If you do so, you should be turned to dust and blow away to never be heard from again.

katherine. said...

There is no way I could sit and watch these two "opinion shows" all the way through....it would make me crazy.

Ingraham is an idiot...not sure what she has to offer. Oh... apparently she is attractive to many... whatever.

I do love Dennis Miller though...if he guest hosted O'Reilly I'd watch it everyday. Twice. He is far too intelligent for the masses however. And tags the right for their idiocy as often as he tags the left.

I am amazed at Becks popularity and book sales. He is off the deep end.

for the record...I don't think I know a single born again Christian who are big Beck fans.... and I know quite a few who can't stand him.

Matt-Man said...

Bond: I Heart the Twin Towers...Cheers Vin.

Kat: I apprecite your comment as I always do...however, the Dennis Miller thing?

He hasn't been funny since 1999. He said in Sept. 2007 that Giuliani would be our next President, "Write it down Bill-O, cha cha."

He thinks he is so smartbecause he uses obsucre words and references. He's a moron. Okay, he's not a moron, but he isn't what he thinks he is. Cheers Sexy One!!

katherine. said...

smile.

Dennis Miller is wonderful and I love him.

He is way ephn smart which is why he will never bring home the ratings...not enough people get him.

I love his obscure references and words...I love his sense of humor...he makes me laugh an awful lot...almost as much as you.

Matt-Man said...

Kat: While I find your compliment incredibly gracious, I am reminded of the love that is shared between Oedipus and His Complex. Cha Cha. Cheers!!

katherine. said...

I always thought Oedipus got it backwards...

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I always heard that Oedipus gave it to his Mother backwards. And thank you for setting that comment up. CHeers Kat!!

katherine. said...

I'll be your straight girl anytime.

laughing...

Matt-Man said...

Kat: How fortunate, because I make no bones about wanting to be your "straight" guy. Purrrr. I soooooo dig you, in spite of your Conservatism. You could make me vote for Nixon. Cheers Kat!!

David said...

I'm so disturbed by the mental image of those two in a porn - fortunately it would never sell. Who could get a boner with Beck's crybaby dialog and the fountan of tears going...no matter how hot the woman is.

Starrlight said...

I run into enough braindead assholes in real life to bother watching these idiots on TV. In fact I don't watch ANY political shit because I refuse to be part of the audience that keeps these fucktards on the air.

VE said...

Awww...quit pulling the punches there Matt-man, tell us what you REALLY think! Ha...

katherine. said...

oh yeah starr... our MattMan doin' his part to keep Buddy Boy Beck up in the ratings....

j/k Mateo..,

Matt-Man said...

David: Oh I don't know...It would be like Russ Meyer meets Fellini. Cheers David!!

Starr: Why are you such a hater? It's Glenn Beck, dammit!! Cheers Starr!!

VE: Ha. I just can't control my foul mouth when it comes to certain people. Cheers VE!!

Matt-Man said...

Kay: Ha. I actually don't begrudge Beck or anyone else from garnering an audience and making money, but some people take him and others of his ilk both on the left and right as gospel. People are stupid. Cheers Kat!!

Starrlight said...

I'm not a hater I just view watching that shit as giving attention to a 2 year old having a tantrum. This week has just reaffirmed for me that life is too fucking short to wallow in the shit.

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Well dammit...We finally have something we disagree upon. I love to wallow in shit. Cheers!!

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