Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sheryl Weinstein and Bernie Madoff...Madoff's Other Secret!!

Friday night after work I watched Greta Van Susteren.

You heard me right. I watched Greta…on FOX News. Don’t get in a hissy fit. I am not having a mental melt down…

Our TV remote is broken and I was too damn lazy to manually switch the channel…once again.

Ol’ Facelift Greta had an “author” on as a guest. The name of the author? Sheryl Weinstein…

I know…“who the hell is she?”, you ask.


Sheryl “Jeebus Christ I’m Ugly Inside and Out” Weinstein was Bernie Madoff’s mistress.

Anyone? Anyone? Remember Bernie Madoff…The guy who absconded with billions of other peoples money, ruined their lives, and is now serving the rest of his sad, sorry life in prison.

Yes, Bernie Madoff was a complete and utter asshole, prick, criminal, and fiduciary fucktard. However…

So is this Weinstein chick. She has written a book titled, “Madoff’s Other Secret”.

Give me…a fucking…break, tootsie.

Hey Sheryl, I realize that you lost everything because of him, but there was a time when you were gladly accepting his nightly deposits into your lady wallet.

He was cheating on his wife and you were cheating on your husband with him.

I understand that you were “having trouble in your marriage” because your husband had ADD (that’s a lame, yet new excuse), but I think that your hubby had ADD when he married you…‘cause man….you’re one fugly bitch…inside and out.

Holy Cow. For someone who was smart enough to bilk billions out of people, Madoff had a God-Awful choice in mistresses.

Listen honey, I understand that you are trying to recoup your losses, but outing yourself as a cheating bitch may not be the way to go…especially when you are doing it on the back and the cum stain of someone you cheated with and allegedly hate.

How deeply did you hate Madoff when you were screwing him and enjoying his money? Uh-Huh…

Go to Hell, Sheryl Weinstein, and while you’re there, suck Madoff’s dick…again.

Cheers!!

11 comments:

Cheesy said...

Smilin'

Desert Rat said...

Great Rant! This one made me smile "inside and out!"

(Actually, "nightly deposits into you lady wallet" made me laugh inside and out!)

Cheers to you, Funny Man!

David said...

Oh lordy lou

What cheap assbaggery. So he got her money after he effed her. boo-hoo.

A book....really???? Is there some fool buying this? And what publishing company editor thought this was a good investment?

But don't forget - she told Diane Sawyer he was a very good kisser. That probably works well for him up in the big house.

(A)douchebag, (B)asshole and (C)cunt.
Please label Bernie, Ruth and Sheryl.

Bless his heart.

Cheers Matt-Man

katherine. said...

no kidding we literally just turned this off. We switched over after the Giants game and watched about five minutes.

how nice for her to detail her infidelity...what a bitch.

Scott Oglesby said...

Would you believe that this may have been the first time I’ve heard the term ‘lady wallet?’ I’m not quite sure how I feel about my new acquisition of wallet and wallet-like adjectives. I have a feeling I likey though!

Give the poor lady some love man. Could you imagine being in the middle of ‘sexy Saturday’ and your lover jumps off to go check facebook? Or you’re in the middle of one of your famous tongue lashings and your ADD afflicted mate hears a cartoon in the distance. Or you’re making plans to send little Sally to rehab for her growing opiate addiction and… Bang somebody finds a shiny penny? Come on man, show some love to that poor, rich, ugly, cheating, whore.

Matt-Man said...

Cheesy: And exactly why are you smilin' dear one? Cheers Cheesy!!

Rat: Ha. I'm glad. Have a wunnerful weekend schweetharrt. Cheers!!

David: I honestly believe that I could write a book describing the last dump I took and someone would publish it, and yes...someone would buy it. Cheers David!!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: Yes, very nice. It's one thing to have an affair, but it's even worse when a person has to go around yakking about it while playing the victim at the same time. Cheers Kat!!

Scott: Ha. You're a mess. And I actually got the term, "lady wallet" from the uber-lovely Candice. As for you, I simply must catch up on things and swing by to read your amusing...um...musings. Cheers Scott!!

Jay said...

"Lady Wallet?" Nice!

After I die or go to prison, every stripper, hooker and skank that I have gotten sloppily drunk and nailed over the years has my permission to write a book or screenplay and make as much money as possible off me. ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Sweeeeeet. If you should die before I, can you put it in your will that I get to play you in the movie? Cheers Funny Man!!

Jay said...

No problem dude! You got it.

I do have to warn you though, none of those strippers or hookers looked like Audrey Hepburn though. LOL ;-)

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha...That's okay. When I close my eyes during sex everyone I am naked with looks like a young Elizabeth Taylor. I can only imagine what the chicks are imagining when they're doing me. Cheers Jay!!