Sunday, August 09, 2009

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: I Pray For Guidance

Schmoop went to bed early last night so I was up by myself.

I watched a repeat, I think…of Glenn Beck.

Holy Cow…First of all, that messed up dude is getting a double chin. I don’t know if the Beck-Boy is chowing down on all of those Mormon staples that he keeps in his basement or not, but man…

He looks like he just swallowed Brigham Young, Joseph Smith, or that Indian guy who claimed to be or know Jeebus…or something.

I will tell you one thing…Glenn Beck is an asshole. I mean anyone who says that Obama is a racist, is in my opinion, an asshole.

It’s kinda like Rush Limbaugh…A few years ago he said that he wanted all drug addicts to go to jail, and then it’s found out that he used some poor maid of his to acquire drugs for his own two selves. Or is that three selves?

You know…One for him…One for his ego…and one for his ginormous ass. Oh yeah, Limbaugh is a asshole. A big one.

“Wow Matt…what brought this on you might ask?” Well, my soon to be less than friends, let me tell you.

I have shoved off my, “I’ll let it slide off of me" attitude.

I am no longer going to let hate filled ego pass by with a joke. I am no longer going to allow self-importance be the a punch line.

Much like the rude, uninformed Health Care protestors, Rush Limbaugh, and Glenn Beck, I have decided to just throw out whatever comes to mind…whether it makes sense or not.

Oh Boy…this is going to be fun.



Starrlight said...

Good for you, it's so freeing to just blurt out whatever comes to mind.

During our Twilightathon in December the Theaters were pimping so POS special night with Glenn talking about Christmas and some sweater his mommy made him. I swear to you that ass faced monkey boy looked like he was either gonna cry or strain really hard to dislodge an persistent turd talking about his special sweater.

Every time his fat, pale moon face came on the screen I'd heckle him. Outloud. The rest of the folks in the audience? Let them riot :P

Scott Oglesby said...

Oh holy mother of God!! This is gold Jerry, GOLD!! I never thought of fighting the irrational, fear mongering, psychotic fire with fire.

OK, my turn! Glen Beck is the secret owner of Beck’s beer located in Germany, and is the spawn of wealthy Nazi’s. As Berlin was falling to the Allies in WWII a secret plan was hatched to make millions by selling drugged, fear inducing beer to the Americans. After giving it 30? years to permeate the brain cells of the weak Americans, the evil Beck family sent their Trojan horse into the US to take over right wing radio. The Beck’s are planning to start the second US civil war pitting right VS left until only the Germans are left standing. Any non-German survivor will be herded into concentration camps and forced to drink Beck’s and listen to ‘Echt’ until being shot in the back of the head by Heidi Klum with a Sig- Sauer.
I’m not accusing Glen Beck of anything. I’m just saying that it is probable that he is involved in a nefarious scheme to destroy America, murder millions, and monopolize the import beer market. He may be a Nazi, racist, murdering beer mogul.

Stay tuned as tomorrow we discover that Limbaugh is a CIA operative who invented crack to keep the black man down!

Matt-Man said...

Starr: Beck is like the Phil Donahue of the right wing. A very sensitive, quick to cry, asshole who spews hate. And spews it all the way to the bank. Let the riots begin!! Cheers Bay-bay!!

Scott: Ha. I love you dude. And my sexy Schmoop looooooooves you and humor. I don't want to find out about any virtual Trans-Atlantic shenanigans going on between the two of you. Cheers Scott!!

Dianne said...

Scott is pure gold!

I can't imagine even your wildest rambles ever coming close to the green/yellow slime shit that comes out of the assmouths of Beck and his ilk

but have a go at it my love

I'm pulling up a front row seat

Happy Sunday Matty, and my baby Jeebus bless us all

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Don't sell me short. I can't be quite rude. And dammit, I just feel a cupful of rudeness steeping within me.

Scott is a fucking hoot. Wish me luck...I'm working 11-7 today and it's gonna be hot. I may get to see some boobies today. Cheers Sexy!!

Andy said...

Beck is, in my opinion, more tolerable on radio. All this crowd does is play to its base - period - moderates, liberals, independents don't buy half of what they say. Its almost sad - the Rush's and Glen's are going to become, IMHO, increasingly marginalized.

Ok, you all can continue to eat your cereal!

Matt-Man said...

Andy: So let me get this straight...Are you saying that people from different political bents, AND who are actually THINKING individuals find people like Beck and Limbaugh find them to be a joke?

You are right of course, but hell, what is the fun in not playing along with them and joining in the fray? I dig being obnoxious. Cheers!!

Jay said...

Anybody who has to go on his show and beg his audience NOT to go out and kill people and commit acts of terrorism against fellow Americans is pretty much an asshole. And that's just what Beck had to do last week. That's sad and kind of disturbing.

David said...

My blood pressure doesn't allow me to watch those crazy assholes' shows so I just catch the occasional clip.

You go Matt-Man, let's fight their idiocy with "fire" back in their faces...or up their asses as the case may be.

Yeah, Yeah, Now that I think about it, it would be great to know they are smelling the hair on their asses burning while they are spewing their hate.

Here in DC we are aimed towards the (possibly record setting) hottest day of the year so if you have the same, you should have loads of babes presenting their boobies for your inspection. :-)


Micky-T said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michele said...

I'm sorry is this not what you've been doing all along? I kid!

I wish someone would shut Limbaugh and Beck the hell up. They are thoughtless blowhards that do nothing but spout garbage that idiots believe.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Beck is a miserable drip of gnat ball sweat. Cheers Jay!!

David: It will be a fun-filled Hate Fest. It was hot here today as well and the boobies in low cut shirts were glistening. Cheers David!!

Micky: I think you have angers. Just be careful and don't shoot yourself in the foot. Cheers Mick!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: I have been doing that, but not quite with the hate that those yay-hoos and others like them do. Oh well, it may be good for some chuckles. Cheers Michele!!

Clay Perry said...

meh.. he's ok...

Matt-Man said...

Clay: I think blows more than Billy Mays. Cheers!!