Today, President Obama will address many of our sons and daughters who are beginning the new school year.
I have read the speech text. It is shocking. Obama implores the students to work hard, never give up, overcome difficulties, and study, study, study.
He has the nerve to tell our youth that if they apply themselves they could someday create a cure for cancer or AIDS.
He goes on to tell the students that if they develop critical thinking skills and their creativity, they may someday end poverty, discrimination, build businesses, and make America a better place.
Oh the nerve of that man…
Some administrators and parents are refusing to allow their kids to hear this outrageous back to school message from Obama and rightly so. However…
These children who are the spawn of parents who live according to the world of great Americans such as Glenn “Believe in Something Even if it’s Wrong” Beck and Michelle “I Wear Tons of Lipstick To Hide The Callouses I Got From Sucking The Pelvic Bones of John Birch’s Skeleton” Malkin, deserve a Back-to School address as well.
Fear not, my irrational, birther nation…I, Matt-Man, shall address your child. So gather them ‘round the computer and allow me to send them back to school with an inspiring message that is not a bunch of socialist, Obama drivel.
Hi Kids…Matt-Man, here.
I don’t care if you are kindergartener or a Senior in High School, life can be fraught with challenges and difficulties. Get used to it. Life is often arduous and for many of you, it will overwhelm you to the point where you need to rely on drugs and alcohol.
That’s okay, I can tell you…it’s not that bad of a way to go through life.
You can study as hard as you want…however, some of you may very well not “make it” in life.
In fact, most of you won’t. That’s the breaks. Sure, some of you may become doctors, lawyers, and entrepreneurs, but since Obama is hell bent on destroying our country, does it really matter?
And for those of you who think if you study really hard you could become President someday? Ha.
Your mom must have been drinking vodka and smoking crack while she was pregnant with you, because you’ve got no chance of that happening.
The only way any of you will have anything remotely in common with the Oval Office is if you happen to be a male student named, Dwight House.
Jeebus Christ kids…if your mom and dad have kept you from viewing the Obama message they have done you a big favor.
They, along with folks like Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, and Laura Ingraham are well aware that President Obama has screwed this country, turned it into a socialist state, and now like a pied piper is asking you to join him.
Youth of America!! Do NOT be fooled. Obama wants you to become part of his diabolical, Marxist-Muslim movement that may involve many of you being forced to participate in a ritual of testicle shaving and being commanded to eat food prepared by a British chef. Bastard.
Kids…your parents have already shown you that there is no need for critical thinking. Hell, critical thinking leads to problems.
You may not know this, but do you know how Mad Cow Disease got started? A mindless, herd following cow decided to think for his own bovine self. What did it get him?
He went fucking mad, and then ruined all of our beef…that delicious beef that us like minded folks just eat up. So…
Don’t try hard…Don’t study…Don’t think. If you do? Your mom, dad, and Glenn Beck will cry. We don’t want that do we?
Of course not…And, that’s my message to you. Now get out there and have the most unproductive school year you have ever had!!