Tuesday, December 29, 2009

New Year's Eve: Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyukking It Up With The Three Stooges

New Year’s Eve is but a mere two days away, and at this time of year I always wonder what to do on that annual uber-party night.

Earlier this month I was wondering if I should find a party to go to…maybe hit a couple of bars in which to ring the New Year, or maybe get a hotel room, a dozen scorpions, and a couple of meth-addled hookers and whoop it up.

And then just a couple of days ago I heard news that has solved the New Year’s Eve dilemma for me. I will be welcoming in the 2010 at home with my five best friends…

I will be spending New Year’s Eve with Schmoop, her brother Dave, and Curley, Moe, and Larry. Damn right.

The cable channel AMC is running a Three Stooges Marathon. The hammer upside the head, soup spitting oyster, and crowbar up the nose fun starts Thursday December 31st at 7 A.M. and runs through New Year’s Day at 6 A.M.

Oh sure, on New Year’s Eve, restaurants will be offering Prime Rib specials with champagne, and tacky paper party hats…Bars will be saturated with tosspots incoherently singing Auld Lang Syne…Dick Clark will be trying to straighten out his face.

Pffffft. None of those NYE outings compare to sitting at home while eating greasy food, drinking beer, and watching The Three Stooges with friends all day and night.

In addition to the Stooges marathon, there are also five College Bowl games on Thursday. Holy Cow!! An entire day of college football AND The Three Stooges!!?

Both my pecker and my funny bone are simultaneously going erect just thinking about it. There’s nothing better than laughing while sporting a hard-on…trust me; I do it all the time.

I am getting really excited. Now, all I have to do is get the food together and ice down the beer and Bagwine. Food, friends, football, and a trio of Sado-Masochistic Jewish comedians…

What in the hell could be better than that?

Well…perhaps, Schmoop will be in such a good mood from the hilarity of the Stooges and her 18th beer, that she will be up for some New Year’s Eve sex with me.

Yeah, that would be the icing on the cake, or in this case, the whipped cream on the pie.

So there you have it. Our plans for New Year’s Eve. Here’s to The Three Stooges, college football, and the hope that I’ll be puttin’ a bigger hurt on Schmoop than Moe will be on Curley.

Cheers!!

16 comments:

3 Men and a Lady said...

Lol, the 3 Stooges always make me think of Scooby Doo. We are having an evening in, too. Low key and low cost.

Matt-Man said...

Lady: Ha. And you mentioning Scooby Doo remnds me of the time when Ryan was 3 or 4. He was never big on going to bed at night and for quite some time I would stay up with him and we would watch Scooby Doo on Cartoon Network.

I've seen every episode 6,000 times. Cheers D!!

Dana said...

I thought your pecker and tour funny bone were the same thing? No? *grin*

I'll be spending the night at home, likely with the Twitter drunks, celebrating not only the New Year, but the one year anniversary of marital celibacy. It's a special night for me *rolls eyes*

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Damn You!! I was trying to interject a self-deprecating joke about my pecker along those lines, but it was 100 words long so I cut it. Here you did it in a mere, 11 words.

Maybe I'll see you on Twitter. I'll make NYE the only day of the year that I actually utilize my Twitter account. Cheers Dana!!

Lu' said...

Love the Stooges and now I know what I am watching. Hubs saw advertised Twilight Zone marathon, I forget what channel. How could you not? My MIL doesn't like the Stooges, she doesn't like a lot of things. My favorite, if I were to choose one is Curly Howard.

Matt-Man said...

Lu: The Sci-Fi Channel typically runs a Twilight Zone marathon so check on that. Love Twilight Zone.

Curley rocks...Shemp wasn't too bad, but the later Curly's were awful.

And by the way...Tell your MIL that if she doesn't like the Stooges, she is a Communist. Cheers Pal!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

..."Niagra Falls"...Slowly I turned, step by spep, inch by inch...Who threw those pies?...Why, I oughta...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Ha...You'll be watching, wontcha? Here's to high brow humor!! Cheers P-Man!!

Doc said...

I can't be with you on this one Matty. I can't stand the stooges... I guess my taste in humor isn't highborw enough...

Matt-Man said...

Doc: What!!? Say it isn't so!! Noses caught in a vise?...Pulling Larry's hair? This is good stuff. Seek treatment and repent, Doc. Cheers to ya!!

Micky-T said...

I think I might be there, if I remember.

Hope said...

Awwwww Dana beat me to the pecker funny bone crack! heehee Great minds and all that. Have a great time. I think I may steal your idea of a theme only make it a Daniel Craig or Jason Statham kind. Nom.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: You are more than welcome anytime. Coe on up, my friend. Cheers Mick!!

Hope: If neither are available, I won't be tied with Schmoop the ENTIRE time. Cheers Long, Tall, Sexy One. I'm off to work!!Cheers!!

Dianne said...

I think it is a fantastic idea to spend the new year with the Stooges!

and the legend that is Schmoop

Four Dinners said...

We will be round a friends house at a party where - traditionally - a fight will start around 00:30 hours. I will totter about trying to seperate the younger ones from chewing each other ears off and, where necessary, disarming them of carving knives and bits of whatever they've grabbed to hit each other on the head with - they won't try and hit me if only because 8 years ago one did. Suffice to say none ever have since.... then we will fall into a cab around 2 am.

I might just stay home and watch The Three Stooges instead. I'm getting old....;-)

Happy New Year to you and yours old bean

4D x

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Especially if she gets naked. Cheers Di!!

Four: Ha. I hope you survive the melee. If not you can recuperate here. I'll DVR the Stooges for ya. Cheers FD!!