Saturday, February 27, 2010

Pissed Off...But Just A Little Bit

It’s Saturday, I have to work later, but boy do I have some things on my fricking mind.

I have a thing against mommy bloggers in general, mainly because they get HUGE AUDIENCES without having any talent…however…

Some of them get HUGE audiences in spite of their ability to write, and that ticks me off.

I bust my butt in order to post everyday, and for the most part, my shit is pretty funny. Okay, not always, but at least, it is for the most part, entertaining.

AND, everyone who reads me, I find funny, and for the most part quite intelligent…More often than not, I find your comments funnier than the post.

That is why I read you…but yeah, I have some jealousy. I have a streak of vanity that once in awhile raises its cobra-like head.

As much as I am a run of the mill kinda guy, I make no bones about me wanting to make some money off of all of this, and ya know…

I just don’t get it.


I see others with sites who have nearly 1,500 followers, (which I don't do) and are “nominated” for Humor Blog of the Year and I want to throw up.

There’s one chick in particular that I happen by and I think…WTF? And yet, she’s relatively large.

I hate those kinds of things.


I would never ask you guys to be my “followers” nor would I beg you guys to vote for me for some stupid award, and yet, I hate the petty feelings of jealousy that I somtimes get, but..

I do get a bit of pissiness in me once in awhile about this. I bet some of you others do too…

Maybe you guys don’t feel the same way, but dammit, I’m pretty funny and many of you are too, and we should get credit for it. Whatever that means…

But damn, why can’t we all make people just figure out how fucking "magnificent" we are without effort?

Lastly, I need to tell you all something quite painful…

If you followed me on Wednesday, I told you that Ryno’s tiny, private school is going to field a baseball team this year. They play in a major Ohio conference.

Well, anyhow…13 players signed up. I asked Ryno the following:

"Hey Ryno? How many have played in the last 2 years or so?" He replied, “Two.”

I further pondered...“Um..Sweetie? When is your first practice?”

He answered, “Tonight Dad.”

I asked…”What are you going to be working on during your first practice?”

He replied, “Catching and Throwing.”

I thought to myself, “Well…ya gotta cover the fundamentals“…Oh Dear God, pray for Ryno and his team.

Cheers!!


Correction and Apology: This post orginally had Amid Life's Crises as one of the labels. It was supposed to be labeled "Life". Dana's site of the aforementioned title always comes up first in my label list and I inadvertantly hit that one.

This post had nothing to do with Dana or her site. I apologize for the mistake.

29 comments:

Jay said...

Dude! I know exactly what you're talking about. All these mommy bloggers need to do is write about poopy diapers, their perfect brilliant little snowflakes and ridicule their husband and TA-DAAA! They have tons of hits and they're being sent on corporate paid outings and being paid to write 200 word unoriginal "stories" on celebrities that high school kids could write.

Uh .. I'm kind of bitter about this.

Anyway, there are some of these "mommy bloggers" who are excellent writers. But, for the most part it's all about pretending they invented motherhood.


Catching a throwing? Well, that's two thirds of what you do in baseball. Like the dude in "Bull Durham" said "You throw the ball, you hit the ball and you catch the ball." ;-)

3 Men and a Lady said...

I don't think that many people make money from blogs... or if they do it's not much at all. I'm sure there's a handful that do pretty well, though. The mommy blogs... I read a couple that make me laugh, but most are boring to me. But they have their audiences b/c there are a lot of readers (mostly women) who can relate to their day to day happenings. Most aren't true "writing", just "here's what my kid did today" stuff, but it's junk they have in common w/them.

You're blog is great. Who cares if they have a billion followers? You've got us! LOL, I understand though, I get jealous over certain things at times, too. We're human.

And don't you all have a summer baseball league there? These guys really haven't played much of it?

MysteryChick said...

I know what you mean Matt-Man, I took my followers thing off my blog because I was beginning to get an inferiority complex.

I think you have a great talent and find that I get annoyed if something keeps me from visiting you. (I don't always comment when I'm here because honestly I spend a fair amount of time splashing around in the shallow end of the thought pool and if I'm not commenting it's because I likely don't have anything intelligent to add to the mix.)

Personally,I mostly write to get the clutter out of my head but I admit to being honored whenever I see that you've stopped by and made a comment (Jay too, but this is your blog!).

Keep writing and remember, you probably don't really want the followers of the mommy blogs as your followers anyway!

(Sorry,that was a bit rambling and long winded, I'm going to blame the margaritas.)

Dana said...

... or maybe you're just not as funny as you think??

And did you know you can look at the number of subscribers you have through Google Reader ... and the number of subscribers other blogs you read have??

Yeah ... don't go there. It will just piss you off even more! Not that I know or anything ...

katherine. said...

There are a lot of Mommy READERS out there. Women with small children have always banded together...from the beginning of time. They have a lot in common.

Not to many out there like you Mateo
smile

so Ryno's team...they are wearing gold bonnets instead of baseball caps?

Matt-Man said...

Jay: See? You know what I'm talkin' about. And yes, this Bull Durham baseball season while humorous, is going to be quite painful to watch. I'll be sure to film every damn moment of it. Cheers!!

Lady: I'm not into the follower thing as I don't do it, but I get ticked when I see other blogs with tons of followers and they suck...Yes, I know it's subjective, but damn, I have scruples...And by that I mean, I hate it when people I think suck have followers. Cheers D!!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Maybe you did ramble but I understood everything you said. I shouldn't worry about the shit I wrote, but it ticks me off. Not alot, but it does.

Anyway, thanks for the comment Chick. I hope things are going well for ya, and I always dig it when you leave a comment. Cheers Chick!!

Dana: I don't do that either. I don't subscribe to any blogs other than the handful I did when it first came out. I use my links list and the other ones I put in my Favorites list. Call me Johnny Yuma!! Cheers Dana!!

Matt-Man said...

Kat: I know there are but they're pissing me off. Actually, I am just amazed by the tightness of "mommys". I don't get it.

Ha, Kat...You need to come to Ohio and watch..This team is going to be awful. Oh there will be videos.

Cheers Kat!!

Mike said...

"for the most part quite intelligent"

Thanks! I think.....


Keep the kid in the outfield. As far away from those juiced up aluminum bats as possible.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: I truly believe that on whole, the people that stop by here and comment on a regular basis are some of the brightest and funniest people in the blogosphere.

And yes...that includes you. I'm glad we ran into each other on the interwebz.

His coach thinks Ryno will play either right field as I predicted, or..gulp...catcher. Oy Vay!! Cheers!!

Scott Oglesby said...

I totally feel you. Some of the stuff I did a couple of months ago was more creative and funny than anything I’ve seen personally. Some of the stuff you and our mutual friends have done falls into the brilliant category as well. And these boring, barely literate hacks get 1500 followers?

You know why? It’s the same reason that Curb isn’t the highest rated comedy in TV history. The same reason that there’s a Starbucks on every corner but the specialty Italian coffee shop goes under. The same reason that Stewart and Colbert aren’t on MSNBC and CNN and Blitzer isn’t working as a fucking day-laborer. Because the vast majority of people are stupid. Stupid, ignorant sheep. And they wouldn’t know funny if funny stripped naked and sat on their face.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha Ha. I laughed out loud and I must say...You just said what I wanted to say but I was trying to be nice. I think that's why I've been so pissy on here of late...

In spite of my sarcasm I have a nasty streak of diplomacy within me and sometimes I hold things in.

I thank you for expressing my feelings far better than I did in my post. And Blitzer? The motherfucker needs dirt sleep.

Here's to ya, and Cheers Scott!!

Doc said...

I aspire to be like your blog someday Matt. I got both of my followers from you. (of course Im not funny so that may have something to do with it) - enjoy the weekend!

Oh and everyone knows you really DID mean Dana... you are clever to duck and cover it up though. She packs a mean right ('cause she certainly ain't left)

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Ha. Oh youuuuu. You're comments are always funny ya goof. As for Dana?

It's not a punch I have to worry about; it's a bullet...She's a trained killer ya know. Cheers Doc!!

Dana said...

I'm thinking Doc might be on to something, or is it just a coincidence that I posted about followers yesterday?? Hmmm ...

I wanted to add that it isn't the mommy bloggers that piss me off as much as the sex/infidelity/lifestyle bloggers. Talk about crappy writing and HUGE audiences.

Then there are the med-blogger bunch. Just stumbled upon an "award winning" blog this past week and wondered what the hell people were thinking.

I don't know ... I think blogger popularity is far more relational than it is quality output. At least that's what I keep telling myself ...

Michele said...

I was wondering about this same thing. I think if you define yourself as one particular type of blogger you get followers from that group but I prefer not to define myself. I'm not a mommy blogger. I'm not a food blogger. I'm not exactly sure what kind of a blogger I am and I'm too eclectic to find out. So I guess I'll just go along as I have been with the few followers that I have and not worry about it, much.

Matt-Man said...

Dana: It is exactly what you mentioned as to why I apologized. I know you just wrote(quite humorously I might add and I feel your OCD) about followers and I thought it might be misconstrued, so I thought I should mention it and offer an apology.

And as for the relation thing? I understand what you mean, but wow...you mention the bad writing. I don't get it.

And I'm not talking about grammar and spelling...I'm talking about what Scott so eloquently mentioned. I try to keep my ego in check but it is huge and sometimes I can't.

Cheers Dana!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: You hit the nail on the head.

I don't think any of the wonderful people that I know through my site or even myself fall into a "niche".

We just write about whatever comes into our twisted, lovable minds. But...

Just like you do, and everyone here, we do it well, and it just annoys me sometimes when I see someone who writes drivel do so well. I know..I have issues. Cheers Michele!!

David said...

I find the mommy bloggers to be a tedious lot on the whole but I've stumbled on a few posts that were amusing. The ones who really drive me nuts are those who have chosen to have 6 or 7 children (or more) and complain about having no free time. Duh!!!

I think it is only reasonable that you would enjoy appropriate recognition for the huge effort you put into your blog. AND I'm sure it is huge. When I've thought of perhaps doing a blog, you come to mind as the model and sterling example to which I would aspire - then realize I would pale in comparison so you have caused my complete failure.

Ryno will be fine with the baseball - his natural talent will make him as good or better than most...of course it sounds like a losing season coming up but so it goes. No one can win if no one loses, right? Ying and yang or something like that.

Desert Rat said...

I think the Mommy Bloggers are huge, as has been said in other comments here, because they can relate to each other.

Warning, I'm gonna generalize here: men (i.e., the mommy's spouses), and childless women, like me, truly don't give a shit about how cute Molly is or how many diapers they went through, today, or who they had coffee with while the kids were at play group. But the OTHER Mommies validate this and everyone needs validation. And since, apparently, there are a lot of mommies out there, they get lots of readers and commiseration.

I can feel your pain, though. Although, I don't try to make money off my totally informative blog with the great photos (ha ha), I have one "official" follower (I don't have the little follower gadget up, though). And my mother is a regular (and she gave my URL to my grandmother) - which is really why I do it. My family and close friends check it out but rarely leave comments - they send me emails - so I like, totally have comment envy.

I thought maybe I should start another blog that I *don't* tell my mom about that could be a little bit more racy - hee hee. Instead of holding a giant mushroom ...

Oh, gawd, I'm totally rambling!

Jay said...

Oh I gotta agree with Dana! Those sex/swinger bloggers are the least creative people ever. They might be creative with a cucumber, a bottle of lube and a camcorder, but they can't write for shit. I know some of them read my blog and comment, but I just can't stand to read most of their blogs. I had a couple of them following me on twitter and I had to unfollow them there because after blogging about their casual sexual relations with strangers they then took to twitter to moralize to the rest of us. Screw that.

Micky-T said...

This is not the place to try and sell your humor and writing to others, it's a place for egos to share compare and play. If your looking for money....hit the streets dude. That's how the worthy make it. Lot's of dues to be paid, lot's of rejection, you know how it works. So a few have managed to make something out of this blogosphere, but only a few.
Don't feel bad or pissed off, just get to work!

3 Men and a Lady said...

I thought I'd add one more thing. The followers thingy is not really just a popularity thing (at least it isn't to me). It's great for getting yourself "out there". When you follow someone and they follow you, having your pic in their followers box is a good way to network. People will randomly click on pictures to look for new blogs to read. I've found many of the blogs I read this way. You may just not be into it at all, and that's cool, but I think the networking aspect is the appeal to most people.

Dianne said...

oh fuck! and I just did a whole fucking post about my grandbaby! crap, shit, fuck!
if I cuss enough will I still be edgy
god kill me if I turn into a grandmommy blogger

I think they're popular because they all stroke each other - endless shoutouts and awards and give-aways

now if I make you or Scott or Jay laugh then I'm set - that's a fucking award

as for following - I've been following you for years, look out the window and be afraid, be very afraid

Micky-T said...

I've having a deep, deep, not quite laughing my ass off chuckle at Dianne's comment.

She's GOOD.....

We all know that.....Huh?



Hey...Hey Matt, you still at work?

Clay Perry said...

i think some are funny, some are so bad they are entertaining, and some are just down right horrendous... i feel the same way about political blogs... some are so big its frightening, yet the authors are, quite simply, raving fucking lunatics...

when i run across a blog that seems like the author is just cutting lose without the thought of other people entering their world it seems refreshing. i use mine to show off shit i made thats for sale and to periodically write down thoughts that are bouncing around in my head... i enjoy it, and so do all two of the people that read it.. LOL

i like all of the ones i've gone to from here and yours is refreshing because i dont see all the follower widgets and maps (like i use.. LOL..)i get the feeling of a guy sitting alone banging shit out on a typewriter.. kudos on a job well done & dont watch the traffic, fuck it.. have a blast with it, its drawn all the finest people.. LOL

Matt-Man said...

Hi Y'all: Sorry to not get back one by one but well it was a long day. Anyhoo...

I want to thank for your comments and for putting up with my temporary bout of ego, vanity, and whininess. I apologize and am on my road to recovery. One thing though Clay...

You're right...This place does draw the finest people. Cheers All!!

The Covert Lover said...

Is it wrong that I now have an overwhelming desire to type up a "mommy post" on my blog? Jeebus knows I've got plenty of those stories... ;)

Matt-Man said...

Covert: Nooooo. Have at it. I do too. I just get sick of it when it's day in and day out. Although I shouldn't care what someone else decides to do with their blog. Those types of people make me ill. I feel much shame. Cheers Lover!!