Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Chile con Carnage

While it’s going to be a gray and cool Sabbath in Bagwine today, my 11-7 shift at the Beer Mine will do me good. It may get my mind refocused in a positive light.

Lately, I have been incredibly pissy and whiny even here on Bagwine Ruminations.

I don’t feel sick. There have been no monumental changes in my life. The breadless thing isn’t killing me.

I don’t know what it is…Maybe my ovaries are drying up and I am becoming menopausal. All I know is that I have to shake this attitude.

I promise that starting today I will go back to being a sarcastic, major league asshole minus the annoying whininess.

There’s far more cataclysmic things going on in this world than my self created melodrama.

Hell there’s hundreds dead due to the earthquake in Chile. Parts of that country have been shamble-lized. I guess you could call the devastation: Chile con Carnage.

Yep the place is pretty messed up. Of course, I always thought that Chile was kind of a fucked up country with a stupid name to begin with.

I mean, it’s like 10 million miles long and only a foot and a half wide. I always thought it would be hell to be a Chilean farmer. You could only plant a single row of anything and it would stretch for miles and miles.

I can hear the discussion between two Chilean farmers…

“Where’s Paco?” “Oh, he’s 40 miles north of here weeding the tail end of the radish crop. He’ll be back in three days.”

It would be hell keeping up with the watering of the long ass radish row too.

Some places in Chile are among the driest on earth. In some areas you can’t even piss down your own leg ‘cause it will evaporate before it gets to your knee cap.

Dick Cheney has heart attacks more often than it rains in Chile. Of course, Dick Cheney has heart attacks more often than the sun shines in Ohio during the winter.

Anyhoo…where was I?

Oh yeah…I am not going to be whiny any longer and I want to wish the earthquake victims and their fucked up looking country with the stupid name my deepest and sincerest regrets.

So there you have it folks. I have wished the people of Chile my sympathies and I am on my way to extricating myself from my pissiness.

And, in order to get myself out of the dumps and in keeping with the feeling of international goodwill I am playing the classic video of the owner of the Beer Mine, Drive-By Mikey, attempting to sing Ching Chong Chinaman. Enjoy…

Oh if only everyone could have a boss like mine.

Cheers!!