Sunday, April 18, 2010

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Some Chick Wants To Snag Matt-Man

It’s going to be another gloriously sunny Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today, and I am off.

Praise Jeebus, and pass the tanning butter!!

Okay skip the sunscreen as it’s going to be a bit on the coolish side, but a bee-yoo-tee-ful day nonetheless.

I have no idea what I am going to do today. I may venture out and take some pictures.


I do know that am going to go get a Sunday paper, and I may go to the grocery to pick up some parmesan cheese.

We’re having spaghetti tonight, and I gots to have some cheese to liberally sprinkle upon my ‘sketts. Capiche!?

Had a lovely day at the Beer Mine on Saturday. I think I have a new admirer. She’s very nice, kind of amusing, and was flirting with me, however…

She has a lot of fishing tackle on her face. Yep, got more than a couple of piercings on her mug. But it’s nice to know that ol’ bait face wants to hop in the riverbed with yours truly.

I just don’t know if I would, even if I could…Every time I see her, I just cringe and think to myself, “Man, that had to fuckin’ hurt.”

I can see myself gettin’ all naked n’ shit with her and wind up scraping or snagging vital body parts on her face.

A bloody tongue and/or wanker during sex isn’t really conducive to the ongoing mood of the situation…

Especially if my previously unbedazzled cock suddenly has a silver hoop and a skull and crossbones earring jammed in the side of it and as a result, instead of spewing my man milk, is spewing my hemoglobin.

Anyhoo, where was I? Oh that’s right, my agenda for the day. I haven’t a freakin’ clue. I guess I’ll just play it by ear.

I do know one thing…There will be beer involved, and how can that be a bad thing? Damn right, it can’t.

So in honor of this carefree day, I will leave you with a song that puts a musical exclamation point on the uber-sunny day that I will be experiencing.

Enjoy…


Cheers!!

For Michele...

A very old Dogwood:




And a Red Maple:

Spring Has Sprung!!

21 comments:

Mrs. D said...

Give us a photo-tour of your town! I'd love to see the sights and read your colorful captions.

Matt-Man said...

D: I may do that for awhile in the morning. I haven't done that in quite some time. Cheers D!!

Mike said...

"a musical exclamation point"

I just watched the Cardinals lose a 20 inning game and I'm presented with ......... I hope they follow you around all day singing and singing and ..... ARGGGGGGG.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Ha...Funny how that works out ain't it? Cheers Mike!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Ahh, nothing better than chillin with the Sunday paper and good coffee. I used to read it all day on my dock watching the dolphins swim by.

“Hey Vincent, what do you think of Trudi?”
“Who’s that? The one with all the shit in her face?”
“No, that’s Jodi. That’s my wife.”
“Oh”

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Ha. It's 6:30 A.M. and that struck me funny. Cheers Scott!!

Michele said...

Are the Dogwoods blooming? If so, I'd love to see a picture of them. They were my favorite thing about living in Indiana.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: I'm headed out in about 20 minutes. I'll see what I can find for ya. Cheers Michele!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...I beg of you, try the pecorino romano on your 'sketts...

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Fish tackle...ROFL!

Michele said...

Very pretty! Thank you. I feel better now.

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: I'd like to but I have an affection for the cheese salt shit in the green canister. And plus, I splurged on the fresh loaf of bread I bought. Awesome lookin' loaf. Cheers P-Man!!

Evil: Ha...We use that term all the time when discussing face piercings. Cheers ETW!!

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Glad I could help. I took them moments ago. It's an old but really nice neighborhood that I pass on the way to the grocery. Cheers Michele!!

Joker_SATX said...

Memo to me...Memo to me...If you see a YouTube posting with the Brady Bunch and you know they are going to sing...no matter how tempting...Just say no!

David said...

Ain't it grand to have someone flirting for your attention?

It's spring - horniness and lust are in the air...and it does smell so sweet!

Enjoy your day off.

Matt-Man said...

Joker: Ha. You tried not to, but you HAD to hit the play button dintcha? Have a wunnerful Sunday Joker. Cheers!!

Matt-Man said...

David: And as a bonus, the trout are biting so I could not only get laid, I could take her fishing. Cheers David!!

Dice Mardell said...

the bread is just as important as the cheese, M2.
my brother, the cheese pusher. Ha!

Sunday and 'sketts! that there is a match made in heaven, yessireee.

Enjoy!

Matt-Man said...

Dice: Ha. Damn right. He is a cheese pusher. Have a wonderful Sunday, Di. Mangia!! Cheers Dice!!

Marilyn said...

I never wanted to pierce my face until after I watched the video.

Also, sending you some big (((hugs))) and I hate hugs. E-mail me your address and I'll make you that sandwich board.

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Ha...It is annoying. Especially when Bobby tries to get soulful. You need not make me a sandwich board. I just did it 'cause I wanted to. But you can always convince me. Cheers Marilyn and Good Luck!!