Monday, May 03, 2010

Scarlett Johansson Naked and the Politics of Sex

Well folks, tomorrow is the big day. 2010 Primary Election Day in the Great State of Ohio.

And, as I promised a couple of weeks ago, I will, after 27 years as a registered Democrat, become a registered Independent.

Perhaps I should take a couple of before and after pictures of myself to see if I look any different after bolting from the Democrat party.

There are still many Democrats that I admire and respect…My buddy and our Sheriff, Gene Kelly (D-Bagwine). U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown (D-OH). And of course…

Scarlett Johansson (D?-Does It Matter?)

I do not do this lightly. I am changing my political affiliation not only for ideological reasons, I do this also to protect my journalistic integrity, of which I have none much.

But those are not the only reasons I am leaving the Democrats. I am of course leaving the party mainly due to something which drives many of us…

Sex.

I figure that if I become an Independent it will open up opportunities to not only have sex with Democrats and Independents like Scar-Jo, but with Republicans such as this one...

Once an Independent, I can have guilt free sex and give Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) a guilt free pearl necklace. Open up the Salad Bar ya crazy bitch, Matt-Man is starving!!

And of course being an Independent I can, without the onus of betraying a particular political party, have sex with FOX News babe, Julie Banderas…

When discussing my becoming an Independent, I always cite the over the top ideologies and lack of pragmatism of people like Keith Olbermann and Sean Hannity.

Even after my political conversion I will still be the fairly Liberal kinda guy that I have always been, but…

More than being a Liberal, I have always been quite pragmatic.

I think my wanting to have more sex with more women regardless of political affiliation, proves just that.

Cheers!!

24 comments:

Clay Perry said...

julie banderas & scarlett johansson boobs.... holy shit... i love america...

Matt-Man said...

Clay: Yeah, Baby...What's not to like? God Bless America and all of her cleavage!! I dig your new pic, Clay. Ha. Cheers!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Ooh yea, now you could have a threesome with Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham while Glenn Beck hides in the closet and watches. This is going to be so hot!

*Crickets*

*Crickets*

What?

Matt-Man said...

Scott: I have to draw the line somehwere. And those three goobs are on the other side of it...although I do have a recurrent desire to bite and lick Ingraham's nose. I have always had thing for an ample nose on a chick. Cheers Scott!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...So YOU are responsible for Scar-Jo's pearl earing?...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: Oh if only that were true. Cheers P-Man!!

Mrs. D said...

If I ever get plastic surgery I want Scarlett J's rack. Just saying.

Doc said...

Independent huh? Maybe there is something to this idea... Hmmmm

David said...

If you come back alive after a romp with Michelle "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, please let us know what meds she is on - the hallucinogenic ones in particular, legal and otherwise.

I'm so disappointed the you have ruled out Ann "Adams Apple" Coulter. I've been eager for some guy, who we know will tell the truth, to go there and tell us whether or not she has completed her tranny surgery - does she still have the dick god gave her or has it been turned outside-in. Inquiring minds need to know.

Jay said...

Come on dude. You and I both know this is all about having a chance of getting with Michelle Malkin. Just admit it.

Also, I think I called dibs on Julie Banderes a long time ago. I let you have that Alisyn Camerota chick, remember? I'm not into fantasy news babe swapping either. haha

Aaaaaand ... I would just like to point out that over the years I have been a registered democrat, then a registered republican, then a registered democrat again and finally a registered independent. Clearly I'm much more versatile than you. ;-)

bobbybegood1 said...

Whatever your political ideologies, I think I would still love ya. I said I think. I'm not sure what I would feel toward ya if you became Republican. Hahahaha. Cheers Matt!!

Irene said...

That Scarlett Johansson
does have a rather nice rack!

Marilyn said...

I can't remember ever choosing a partner for carnal recreation based on his political party... even when I was desperate and single though, I couldn't sleep with complete idiots. Except my first husband... not sure how that happened.

I can't comment on your FB posts anymore. I just realized that Jasmine got to see your lovely bare rear end because I commented on it. She seemed to object for some reason.

Mike said...

Watch out. That first republican looks like she's getting ready to bite. But that could be a good thing.

Matt-Man said...

D: They are quite a lovely pair and in that picture they look like Schmoop's. That's why I chose it. Cheers D!!

Doc: See? There's a method to my madness. Cheers Doc!!

David: The bat shit crazy Bachmann should be fearing my prowess. And Coulter? I'm all for research, but it isn't going to be at my hands. Cheers david!!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Malkin is hideous looking and she blows, and not in a good way. Okay, you can have Julie. alisyn did look hot on Sunday. Are you versatile or just wishy washy? Cheers Jay!!

Bobbie: That was alnost sweet, and no fears...I would NEVER become a Republican. Cheers Michelle!!

Irene: It is indeed quite beautimous. Cheers Irene!!

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Oh Shit. Sorry 'bout that Marilyn. Hmmmm...I feel a bit disturbed knowing that. Sorry. Cheers Marilyn!!

H/B Brian said...

whenever I feel the need to escape from something hideous or downright pig ugly, I always think of a pic of Scarlett in Esquire a few years ago and repeat this mantra "Scarlett Johansson in a red lacy bra..." until I float weightless outside of my body. Works every time (though I haven't done it much since she married that douchebag Ryan Reynolds)

Matt-Man said...

Brian: Ha. She looks good in anything. She would still look good covered in pig shit. Cheers Bubba!!

Joker_SATX said...

Matt-Man, I think this is the best reason to become independent! Kudos to you and my wish is for you to have hot unadulterated sex with these fine ladies listed here!

Marilyn said...

Matt: It was my bad. If I feel the need to comment I'll send a PM... just know that I do read...or look, as the case may be.

Matt-Man said...

Joker: The mission is complete. I am now officially an Independent. Let the Sex Begin!! Cheers Joker!!

Marilyn: That's fine. I understand. There's no need to explain my friend. Cheers Marilyn!!

Dana said...

Wait! Does this make you a post-surgical trans-politicalparty-ite?? Or something like that ???

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...yes? Cheers Dana!!