Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Julie, Julie, Julie, Do Ya Love Me?

I arrived home Monday night after work and as I always do I cracked open a beer, fired up the computer and a Marlboro Light, and opened my e-mail.

One was an Entrecard ad request. One was an invite through Facebook. One was an e-mail from a lovely friend, and the other..?

It was a hate and expletive filled diatribe about my blog, and an assault on my character…I dug it!!

Seems that some chick named Julie (if that’s her real name) doesn’t take kindly to me posting pictures of women and labeling their pictures for example as “Scarlett Johansson Naked” or lying about them being naked in my post titles.

She said, “It’s pretty pathetic that you are so fucking insecure that you need to use women and their sexuality to drive folks to your website, all the while misleading people.”

I thought about that sentence and said to myself, “Hmmmm…I like how she used the word “fucking” in that sentence for emphasis.”

Jules continued…

“Hey Matt-Fucking-Man, I wasted my time reading many of your posts today, and you are so damn gross and repugnant that you even post pictures of this alleged girlfriend of yours nearly naked and treat her like a dog. She must be, if she’s real you fucking liar, a damn nutcase or drug addict.”

Hee Hee…I really dug that passage. Two “fuckings” and two “damns” in one thought. Da Bitch got skillz!!

She concluded by asking…

“You got your number of hits going up now little boy? Do you think you are so very clever now you piece of shit?”

I pondered for a moment, and then replied to her e-mail with the following…

Julie,

Yes.

P.S. Do you have a picture of yourself that I could use on my site?


Long day today folks. Walking to my polling place to vote as a Born-Again Independent, and then walking on to work for another fun-filled 10-9 shift at the Beer Mine.

Enjoy your Tuesday, all.

Cheers!!

19 comments:

Mrs. D said...

So do I need to send a hate letter to be a post feature?

Matt-Man said...

D: Ha. No...And by the way, I have featured you before, if you'll recall. Cheers D!!

Jay said...

Oh I think I like this Julie chick. Julie, if you're reading this, can have your phone number? Let's be best friends!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Hee Hee. I wonder if she does kids' parties. You two would make a wunnerful couple. Cheers Jay!!

JC said...

Isn't this Matty nasty, dear Julie? He won't feature me because I don't have a thong. All I could send was a low-rise shot and got rejected :(

Matt-Man said...

JC: If you had sent me a low-rise shot I wouldn't put it merely in a post for one day. It would be on my sidebar so I could drool over it everyday. Cheers JC!!

David said...

>>>I wasted my time reading many of your posts today,

They are repugnant but she kept plowing through them...doggedly...perhaps for research?

Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

I'm looking forward to seeing her sexy glamour shots pic when she sends it.

Mike said...

"and you are so damn gross and repugnant"

But ...... that's why I come here! Don't ever change Matt-man. Ever!

Scott Oglesby said...

I love this Julie because; as you know, I love the fucking. There is no better emphasis in the English language if it’s done right. Like Dennis Miller before he was O’Reilly’s lap dog/ball licker. Back when he was funny.

Would you believe that I have never gotten hate mail? I’ve pissed off many of my own readers but for all the evil, repugnant, anti-religious, anti-everything really, posts I’ve done… I have never gotten one piece of hate mail. This pisses me off.

They all loved your comment over at my place btw.

Matt-Man said...

David: I agree David. I believe this incredibly foul mouthed women to have repressed sexual thoughts than she does cuss words in her mind. Cheers David!!

Mike: I won't, and thanks. I mean us gross and repugnant folks need a place where we can comfortably share a common bond. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: I know how you feel. I've been doing this nearly four years and thgat is only abpout the third really hateful e-mail I received. And I believe that word "fuck" is a great emphatic word as well. And the comment? How can one miss when referencing Lot? Cheers Scott!!

Joker_SATX said...

Half the inmates and I were salivating over this Julie chick!

We are laying Las Vegas odds that she digs anal.

What say you Matt-Man?

Marilyn said...

Dear Jules: Don't hate on the Schmoop. Feminism and sexuality are not mutually exclusive. I think you're just mad that you didn't get to see naked chicks. I bet some bagwine readers could hook you up with good links.
Love,
Marilyn

Desert Rat said...

G'day and Fuck it all and such! I'll be sure and send you some hate mail when I have a wee minute to do thusly.

Scott, I'll send you some hate mail, too, so you don't feel left out.

Oh, and I could probably manage a thong shot or two ... I do have the "official" Bagwine thong! [free plug for the Bagwine swag, people!]

Keith Simerson said...

I'd be willing to bet that Jules has still got you in her Reader right now. Just offer to send her a cheap strap-on to show her that there's no hard feelings.

Beth said...

Hey!!!!!!!!! I am highly offended being call a drug addict! Nutcase...not so much.

Matt-Man said...

Joker: Ha. You guys in prison know your anal, so how can I disagree? Cheers Joker!!

Marilyn: Well said and in a warm manner as always. Hee Hee. Cheers Marilyn!!

Rat: Woo Hoo. I'd dig that. And upon your return you have a sweet shirt waiting for you to go with that Bagwine thong. Cheers Rat!!

Matt-Man said...

Keith: I think you are right. Hate like that can't stay away. She has to continue to feed it. Cheers Keith!!

Schmoop: Damn Right. You are a nutcase naturally. You need no drugs to demonstrate or accentuate your mental afflictions. Cheers Schmoop!!

Dana said...

Here I was, reading through the comments, CERTAIN there would be an anonymous one from Jules ... errr ... Julie ...

But no! She prefers to keep her trash talk private so that we can't have a swipe at her??

Selfish bitch ...

Matt-Man said...

Dana: I know...Probably too busy to comment because she was going through my posts looking for actual naked pictures of actual babes. Cheers dana!!