It is going to be a sunny yet relatively cool Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio on this Mother’s Day.
And with that being said, Happy Mother’s Day to all of the Moms and MILFs who have taken the time to spread their legs and nine months later, spit out a kid or two…or nine like my mom did.
Children, husbands, and divorce attorneys across this country will be praising and thanking moms everywhere.
All the while, restaurateurs, greeting card companies, and petunia peddlers will be making a killing. You know why?
Because people are stupid!!
Mother’s Day Schmother’s Day. It should be called, “Let’s Clean Out the Wallets of the Gullible Day.”
Mother’s Day…what a racket.
Oh sure…I’m going to Lowe’s early to pick up a flat of flowers for Ryno to give to his mom, but I’m using a Lowe’s gift card that I got for Christmas, so I’m not spending my own money.
I may spend a few bucks of my own. I’m getting a couple of donuts for Ryno, so I'll get a couple for his mom as well. Not because it’s Mother’s Day mind you.
I’ll do it because I’m a nice guy and the five to ten minutes that she spends scarfing down a couple of donuts is five to ten minutes she won’t be able to whine or ask me to clean or fix something.
Hell, I don’t even celebrate Mother’s Day with my own mom…for two reasons.
One, as I said, I think it’s a bogus holiday, and two? She’s been dead for nearly four years and I think it would be kinda creepy if I dug her up and took her to brunch.
Mother’s Day…uh-huh…what a crock.
I must be off now so I can get to Lowe’s as soon as they open and pick up the flowers for Ryno’s mom.
After I drop them off, she can plant them in the yard which I once meticulously landscaped, and which sits in front of the house which I once owned.
Amen, and Amen.
And now…Inky and Lola!!