Friday, May 07, 2010

Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiday so slap me on the ass and call me Sally, ‘cause I’m off today and I’m feeling pretty.

Have to walk up to the Beer Mine and get my check this morning. I like the walk. I enjoy passing people and saying, “Hi” and smiling. It makes me feel good.

It’s going to be 80 today and Pizza Bill is working 10-9, so just like last Friday, I am putting out an Ass-Chap Alert. Da boy’s ass doesn’t take to the heat too well. My thumb nails need clipped.

Sent Doc some Grippo’s BBQ potato chips…I hope he got them. Love da Grippo’s. I just love to eat, period. I think I’m making hamburgers for Schmoop and I tonight.

Ha…my post yesterday talked about burgers but it wasn’t really about hamburgers. I was being metaphoric. I like saying that word…“metaphoric.”

I don’t like the word, sophomoric…or sophomore, for that matter. Why is there an o after the h? No one I know says, Soph-O-More. They and I say, Soph-More.

It’s like the word, February. Who pronounces the first r?

I don’t, and I was born in February. I don’t say Feb-Roo-Ary. I say, Feb-Yoo-Ary.

If you pronounce it, Feb-Roo-Ary, you are a pretentious fuck and I hate you….unless you pronounce it like that and happen to be a hot chick with big tits.

You know…I have a packet of Parmesan noodles and sauce that would go well with our fresh, hand made burgers. Love noodles. Any type, size, shape…noodles and I get along really well.

I have met so many cool people on my blog, Facebook, and Twitter. The majority are hot babes. I like that. I bet if I run into any of them I would get naked with them. Ha kidding…

Actually I would probably give them a fist bump. Odd huh?

I don’t know what it is. It just feels right when I run into a person that I like. I’m not trying to be hip or anything. Hmmmmm?

Okay, yes, definitely a fist bump…annnnnnnd thennnnn I’d have sex with my new found friends.

Egads…My balls itch. Does that mean visitors are coming? Ha…My balls itch and Pizza Bill is going to have a bad case of ass chap today. Just call us the Yeasty Boyz. Hee Hee.

There is a new President of Nigeria. His name is Goodluck Jonathan. What the fuck kinda name is that? President Jonathan?

How do you wish him well? Good luck, Goodluck. I’m serious…his first name is Goodluck. Wacky Nigerians.

Just saw Rachel Maddow on TV. She’s a lesbian. A big honkin’ lezzzzzbo.

While I dig watching two hot babes get it on for my viewing pleasure, I have never understood real lesbian couples.

How come two chicks get together because they don’t want to be with men, and oft times one of the chicks feels compelled to look, act, and dress like a dude? I never have understood that.

Speaking of women who look like guys, Keith Olbermann is an asshole.

Jesus…I am freakin’ horny. I need to get laid. I mean, sure my hand does well enough, but it has no tits. I really like tits….and noodles.

Have a wonderful Friday all, and Good luck, Goodluck.



Mrs. D said...

I don't get February or sophomore, either. Extra letters are dumb. Like the B in dumb.

The Grippos are sure to please. Who could resist their bbq wiles? No one.

Mike said...

I had to verify Goodluck. I thought you were messin' with us. He's real. His Wikipedia page is already updated.

Scott Oglesby said...

I always thought that was the best feeling in the world; to go into work on your day off to pick up your check and just hang out. Although I did used to work in a strip club/ecstasy manufacturing facility.

Did you mean a fist pump or a fist bump? Because I think there is a pretty big difference.

I think the new Nigerian President was an internet scammer, and he got so used to saying good luck at the end of the thousands of emails he’d send everyday it just became his name.


Matt-Man said...

D: Exactly. Dumb is a good example, what's with the b. When people have sex they don't cumb. Cheers to you and Grippo's, D!!

Mike: Are implying that I make shit up? I am aghast that you or anyone would think that. Cheers Mike!!

Scott: Hangin' out when I go up there is a problem. Owner boy likes to talk and I end up hanignin around for an hour shooting the shit.

Ha. Yes I meant bump, and meant to change it when I copied the post from Word to Blogger and forgot to. Thanks.

Ha. Your theory may be dead on. Good one and Good Luck. Cheers Scott!!

Michele said...

Hi Sally! Have a great day off. Enjoy your burgers and noodles.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Thanks. I shall try. And is it just me or does:

Enjoy your burgers and noodles. sound dirty?

Have a safe trip and have fun. Cheers Michele!!

Michele said...

It's not just you.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: Ha. Good. I hate being in the gutter by myself. Cheers Michele!!

Doc said...

Oh heck yeah!! Did you get my tweets of thanks yesterday Matt? The Grippo's arrived and half were consumed for dessert... I have a photo post of my son and I eating them going up right now over on my blog... Big Thanks. those things are great.. and they have a kick too!

Matt-Man said...

Doc: Yay!! No, I didn't see the tweets, I shut down and went to work late in the day. Glad you got them and am looking forward to the pics. Cheers Doc!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...If noodles had tits then there would truly be a God...

Matt-Man said...

Phfrankie: HA. Right again, P-Man. Cheers!!

Dianne said...

'tits and noodles' - a new fast food franchise

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Ha. I like it!! Tits and Noodles, Because You Knead Both. Cheers di!!

Irene said...

Hamburger and noodles?Now I want beef stroganoff.I pronounce Feb. the way you do the right way.

Matt-Man said...

Irene: Man, stroganoff sounds good too. I guess that's what we are kinda having just not in stroganoff form. Cheers Irene!!

Evil Twin's Wife said...

You need some stroganoff. Or maybe just a BJ. Good luck! :-)

Matt-Man said...

Evil: I appreciate your kind thoughts, but I'm not a BJ kinda guy. If I am laying there doing nothing but breathing heavily, I am missing out on all the fun my mouth could be having elsewhere. Cheers ETW!!

David said...

>>>Pizza Bill...I am putting out an Ass-Chap Alert. Da boy’s ass doesn’t take to the heat too well. My thumb nails need clipped.

I understand this is a stream of consciousness post but could you possibly explain the nexus that led you from P Bill's chapped ass to needing to clip your nails???

btw - I have it on good authority that Rachel Maddow is an excellent bartender. Now there is a valuable life skill.

Charlene said...

Dammit, I had to look up "metaphoric"! I'm a stupid chick.

Rachel Maddow is all about the cocktails. How's that for irony?

Jay said...

The wife of the recently deceased Nigerian President sent me an email this morning asking if I could hep her get his personal fortune out of the country. For a fair fee, of course.

Actually, I think that the leader of every African nation should probably be named "Coup" cause that's how most of them come to power. ;-)

Desert Rat said...

I pronounce the "r" in February. I also say nu-CLEE-AR - not nu-CU-lar, like some dumb fucks (There's no extra 'u' peoples - just a pet peeve of MINE.)

I've got pretty good tits, though, so I figure I can get away with it.

Happy Friday! We celebrated that yesterday, which is totally friggin' weird.


Candice said...

I say feb-roo-ary only when I'm making fun of those with British accents.

Does that make me a tool?

I also have big tits. Or at the very least, medium sized tits.

Matt-Man said...

David: The transition from ass chap to nails? Hence the stream of consciousness. Cheers!!

Charlene: Ha. Very good. But I still don't like her. Cheers Charlene!!

Jay: Yeah, but Gi-Neria is almost like a real country. They have oil...Ergo, we like them. Cheers Jay!!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: You can call February whatever you want, I wouldn't make a peep. One question...Are ya naked? Cheers Rat!!

Candice: Ha...You too get a pass...I am such a whore. Cheers Candice!!

Marilyn said...

You know what pisses me off? Wednesday. Who's idea was that?

Matt-Man said...

Marilyn: Ha...Another fine example. Cheers Marilyn!!