Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Drive-By Mikey, Carl's Jr. Footlong Cheeseburger, and Ellen Page Inception...Let Me Live

Although I am nearly fearless, I have something to do today which is somewhat frightening…

I am headed to Columbus early this morning with the intrepid owner of the beloved Beer Mine, Drive-By Mikey.

In case you are unfamiliar with how Mikey acts, here is a sampling:

And of course there is this example:


Yeah, I am putting my life in his hands as he drives us to a meeting. Wish us luck with the meeting and more importantly, pray for my safe return.

I thank you in advance, because I’d like to experience a couple of things prior to my earthly demise.

I would like to taste the meaty sexiness of this:

Who doesn’t want to eat a Carl’s Jr. Footlong Cheeseburger? No one, that’s who.

I’d also like to spend some time with Inception star and all-around cutie, Ellen Page…

Some chicks are hot, some are sexy, some are beautiful. Ellen Page to me, is the epitome of cute.

And even if she is only 23 or so, I’d dig seeing Ellen Page naked.

So please, let my trip with Drive-By Mikey be safe and uneventful, and may we find me returning your comments this afternoon as I drink a few beers.

Please, Holy Baby Jeebus, make it so.

Cheers!!


27 comments:

doggybloggy said...

not a day goes by that I realize that I am glad that I am not you........say what you may but you are still you when the day is done.

Matt-Man said...

Doggy: And I wouldn't have it any other way. Cheers, Bitch!!

Mrs. D said...

Have a great day and enjoy that cheeseburger :-)

Matt-Man said...

D: Thanks, and I hope I ge tot have one someday. Cheers D!!

Jay said...

Have fun and good luck in Columbus.

But, Ellen Page? Now, I think Ellen is damn cute too. Loved her in both "Hard Candy" and "Juno." But .. BUT .. Dude! All the shit you give me over Natalie Portman? Ellen is even tinier than Natalie! hahah ;-)

Andy said...

WTF was that? Hey, I need a part time job. . .

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I'm not into tiny or younger chicks but I just find her to be adorable for some reason, and thanks for the luck. Cheers Jay!!

Andy: What was what? You mean Mikey? He's a hoot and a good guy. I'll let him know that you're looking. Cheers Squalor!!

Mrs. D said...

Oops, sorry. I thought you were going to have one of those cheeseburger's tomorrow on your trip. Well, maybe you'll come across one somewhere.

Matt-Man said...

D: I can't they haven't come out yet...They are in development. I just want to be around when it does. Cheers D!!

Michele said...

To answer your question, I'm someone that doesn't want to eat a Carl's Jr. Footlong Cheeseburger but you knew that. The question was rhetorical, right?

Ellen Page is cute but I've never thought to myself; I'd do her. Like some others I could name but won't.

Have a fun and safe trip.

Raquel's World said...

Mikey looks like fun!

Dana said...

As long as Mikey doesn't see any women with low cut tops while he's driving, you should be OK - he does seem easily distracted by "shiny objects"

Hope all goes well in Columbus!

Mssr. Bahndeaux said...

...does that foot-long cheeseburger come with a foot-long tater tot?...

Joker_SATX said...

Hey! Be safe out there...but then again, now that I have seen Mikey in action, it explains a lot about why you are as you are....

C'mon, some of that has had to have rubbed off over the years.

Doc said...

THAT is a sandwich!

The Dish said...

He better not harm any of the remaining hairs on your head! Sorry, i couldn't help myself. We both know I am an asshole...

Mike said...

"I’d dig seeing Ellen Page naked."

If I'd have only known I would have had her stop by your place after she was her. Next time.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: I chuckled and thought of you immediately after typing that. And this Ellen chick just eems darn cute. Cheers Michele!!

Raquel: He is...Sometimes we both leave work sore from laughing so hard. Cheers Raquel!!

Dana: As well as it could and your description of Mike is fairly accurate. Cheers Dana!!

Matt-Man said...

P-Man: Wouldn't that be a most beautiful thing? Cheers P-Man!!

JOker: I've only really known him for a couple of years but yeah, he rubs off on a person quickly. Cheers Joker!!

Doc: More than that, it is a work of art. Cheers Doc!!

Matt-Man said...

Dish: Well from one asshole to another, I dug it. Cheers Dish!!

Mike: See? Need the info or...um...I guess you did. Cheers Mike!!

Micky-T said...

Mikey gonna set you up with a place to live? He does raise pigs doesn't he? hehehe. I hope you know I'm kidding.
But you do need a place to live come August, right?

I mean, I really hope you DON'T need to move, that you and Schmoop can make it all work out whatever it is that isn't working out. If it's just the LIVER, I know you handle THAT! Hahaha

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I guess we'll find out come August. Cheers Mick!!

Anonymous said...

Safe trip... Are you going there by way of PA? Why not it is only a tad bit out of your way; right :)
Lu'

Matt-Man said...

Lu: You should have asked me earlier, we could have easily gone five hours out of our way. Cheers Lu!!

Micky-T said...

That short answer bothers me that it might be more than something to joke about. I really do hope it all works out!

Matt-Man said...

Micky: Or maybe you weren't sure and joked about it anyway. Cheers!!

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