Monday, October 11, 2010

Matt-Sinai

I decided to climb once more upon my mile high soap box and imbue a few more pearls of wisdom unto the blogospherical masses.

These are tough economic times and damn it, if you’re hurting, chin up folks, better days lie ahead and maybe even a job.

If you, like the folks who lost family members in recent Brett Favre texting incidents are saddened over a personal loss, I will be happy to offer you some “solace”.

If you feel trampled upon by others, namely, Gretchen Carlson’s stupidity, don’t worry, your time will come.

I’ll help you achieve your dream. I will help you become a righteous dude or dudette.

If you are nice to me, I’ll be nice to you, and…if you, like me, are a good person, maybe we can hook up some time and see “God” together. ; )

Those of you who play nice and don’t attack each other on my site, as well as those who have been attacked on here, are very special to me, and have a standing invite to come to the digs and party with me.

Those of you who have been mocked, lied about, and such while on my site, don’t fret, Bitches...

Much like commenters from the past, you are a better person for it, and it will show at some point…

Maybe.

I hope you guys continue to visit Bagwine Ruminations. ‘Cause, well…you are the Bagwine. And if you no longer stop by, the bottle dries up and sits empty.

And really, what good is an empty bottle? It just gets thrown at the dumpster, misses, and shatters.

You guys brighten my day and my life. Y’all are like the city of Denver…mile high, saying, “Look at me!!”

And I do look, because you cannot camouflage your humor, wit, and brilliant charm.

I see you as shiny, happy people, and I hope everyone from here to eternity sees the same thing in you that I do.

Was that a great exhortation or what!?

Let’s see Joyce Meyer, Benny Hinn, or any of those other bums come up with something like this.

Hell’s fire, even Jeebus couldn’t orate like this.

Okay, maybe Jeebus could, but you’d have to look long and hard in the Bible to find something this moving.

I hope you all find this entry moving, soul softening, and well, wonderful.

‘Cause if ya don’t…you’re freaky, and hate the little baby Jeebus.

Cheers!!

17 comments:

Average Chick said...

Praise Jeebus and Matty! I'm am touched and moved :)

Matt-Man said...

AC: Hee. Why thank ya. I think you just made my Sunday night. Seriously, thanks AC. Cheers!!

Jay said...

This is actually kinda inspiring. And I'm pretty much uninspirable. haha ;-)

Excellent post Mattinator!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Why thank ya Jay...I was inspired myself. I can't say by whom. Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

I was reading fast at the end and read - 'entry moving, stool softening'. I stopped and said 'what?'.

And you know the Meyer people aren't all that far away from where I live. And until they moved, the family compound was about 3 minutes from my house.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: I know...Joyce Meyer is a fave puke of mine. She blows. She sucks. She is a horrid human being. Kil;l Her!! Okay, not really...but mock her heavily, Mike. Cheers Mike!!

Desert Rat said...

Great exhortation! And I am *super* shiny because I od'd on hair gel and just got back from bowling. I always feel "shiny" after I go bowling. Shiny and a burning desire to bath - although the shoes were the nicest I've ever seen at a public facility.

Michele said...

The blog community is in general a pretty great group. I personally feel like we are the biggest group of pen pals ever.

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Ha. You are also incredibly funny after bowling. Cheers Rat!!

Michele: I agree and you put it quite well. Cheers Michele!!

Phfrankie Bondo said...

"...from here to eternity..." would be a good name for a...oh, never mind...

Knight said...

This was so moving. Makes me want to reach out and touch someone today. By someone I mean you.

Dianne said...

I can't type right now, I'm too emotional ...

Dana said...

Wait! Wait!! Are the Ten Co-MATT-ments next??

Micky-T said...

Touching....it's Monday, and a moving kinda post....
Good Gawd...are you starting another everyday of the week theme....

Moving Matt-Mann Monday?

Matt-Man said...

P-Man: Of course it would. Cheers P-Man!!

Knight: Be still my heart. Such a hot comment to come home from work to. Cheers Knight!!

Dianne: You? Emotional? I'm shocked!! Cheers Sexy!!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: I think I may have done the Ten Commandments things before. I'd have to check. Cheers Dana!!

Micky: I just go where the spirit moves me. Cheers Mick!!

babyrocasmama said...

You do know that whiny bitches make the baby Jesus cry, right?

Just sayin.

Good post. Benny Hinn can suck it. Damn shiester.

And yes, I am moved. Or having a movement. One of the two.