Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Miley Cyrus 18th Birthday and Bill Ray Cyrus' Divorce...It's A Family Affair!!

Happy Tuesday Chuckleheads!!

Time to discuss a couple of very important milestones in Pop Culture.

You know what today is? Today is exactly a mere two weeks before Miley Cyrus celebrates her 18th Birthday.

My middle-aged libido is all a-twitter. Woo Hoo!!

My fantasies cannot wait until November 23rd comes and I get to celebrate Miley’s legality. And celebrate it I shall!! How you ask?

I shall celebrate her 18th Birthday with a birthday cake, Google Images, and a bottle of Gold Bond Medicated lotion. Hummina Hummina, I’ll have a hard on bigger than the Hannah Montana sky!!

Some of you may find my remarks disturbing, but there’s something involving Miley that is even more disturbing.

Just recently her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, filed for divorce from his wife and Miley’s mom, Tish. Coincidence? I think not.

I think the timing of Billy Ray filing is more than a coincidence, as it comes on the precipice of Miley Cyrus’ 18th Birthday.

I sense that Billy Ray is planning a little Papa John and Mackenzie Phillips action on the newly legal Mizz Miley.

I know…I know. I find it troubling as well, however…

At least Billy Ray has waited until Miley turns 18 to leave his wife and attempt to precipitate some paternal Cooter Scootin’ Boogie on the nubile Mizz Miley.

I admire that, and let me tell you…Come November 23rd, I’ll be admiring Miley Cyrus in a whole new way as well.

Our second pop culture milestone to celebrate is a follows…

Yesterday, Monday November 8th, was the 1,700th post on Bagwine Ruminations. How big is that!?

Figuring conservatively at an average of 350 words per post, that’s nearly 600,000 words that have graced the pages of Bagwine Ruminations.

That’s a lot of words…Many of which have been actual words. And my friends, what have we learned through my myriad of words?

Not a damn thing, and I like that, because it gives me something to shoot for. I like having goals.

Lastly…

Remember that Jay and I are looking for folks who would like to have their blog pimped out on our I’m With Stupid show on Blog Talk Radio that airs on Fridays at 11 PM EST.

If you’d like to be interviewed by Jay and I on the air send us an email and we’ll schedule you for an interview.

The first installment of the pimp out will be this Friday.

Have a wonderful day all, and as always…

Cheers!!

23 comments:

Jay said...

Personally, I think this whole "you have to wait until she's 18" thing to be stupid. I mean, what happens magically at the age of 18? Miley has been pretty much fully grown for a couple of years now, so I ... Oh hi there Chris Hansen. What's that? You'd like me to take a seat over there? Okay ...

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Hee Hee...And people think that I lack a moral compass. It's always the sweet, quiet ones isn't it Mister Jay? Cheers Funny Man!!

Mike said...

She's already legal in MO (17).

I had to do some deep research to find that out.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: I'm sure you have been studying that since November of '09. Cheers Mike!!

Doc said...

There's a long line of perverts errrr guys eagerly anticipating Mileys 18th

Matt-Man said...

Doc: I already called dibs. I hold the rights to Prima Nocta!! Cheers Doc!!

Dana said...

Hello? I may have to thumb-wrestle Billy Ray for bragging rights on Miley. She's not just for mens fantasies!

Congrats on the 1700th post!

Matt-Man said...

Dana: Have at it, you perv. Cheers Dana!!

Beth said...

That girl is fugly! What the hell is wrong with you people? Ohhhh, I get it, young meat right?

Phfrankie Bondo said...

...The Actual Words would be a good name for a band...

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Because it's fun!! And besides, she got no boobies. I gots to have boobies!! Cheers and Zoves!!

P-Man: Especially if they played nothing but instrumentals. Cheers P-Man!!

Scott Oglesby said...

Surprisingly, even 20 is too young for me now. Which is weird because inside I feel 20. But I get more turned on by chicks in their 30’s now, by far. These days, 18-20 looks 13-15 to me.

Getting old is fucking weird, man.

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Actually Scott. I have always been into chicks older than me. Some women I have been with over the years have been quite a few years older than me. In fact...

Even though she's only one year younger than me, Schmoop is the first woman I have ever "hung out" with so to speak that is younger than myself.

Cheers Scott!!

Raquel's World said...

Oh Miley, Miley, Miley. I agree that why wait til she's 18 she's been gyrating (?) around for quite some time. But then as Jay said..Chris Hansen is why! I can only imagine what Miley will be doing next to show that she's now of age?

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Mybe she'll get naked during a drunken binge and end up rooming with Lindsay Lohan at the Betty Ford Clinic. Cheers Roc!!

Dianne said...

so now that Miley can legally handle her own money Papa doesn't feel the need to be the big family man

1700 is such a sexy number

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: Good point, and yes...1,700 is just plain HAWT!! Cheers Sexy!!

Knight said...

That Billy Ray spawn is an ugly little thing with a weird glottal voice. She has always disturbed me. Now that she is 18 she is just going to get knocked up and make more hideous Cyrus mutations. At least pick an attractive piece of jail bait.
Good for Billy Ray for holding out longer than Woody Allen was able.

Matt-Man said...

Knight: Ha. I think Schmoop concurs with all of the above. Cheers Knight!!

Micky-T said...

I'm with Beth and Knight, I don't see the beauty in that face at all, and I do love those dark haired women.

Matt-Man said...

Micky: I think she's hot in a wood nymph kinda way. Cheers Mick!!

MysteryChick said...

Hmm, she's ok but maybe becasue I watch her with my kids I don't find her the least bit sexual. Now Victoria Justice from Victorious is a whole different story.

I have learned something through reading you 1700 posts, that you're a wise and funny man!

Matt-Man said...

Chick: Why thanks Chick. That was incredobly nice of you to say. Cheers Chick!!