Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Hump Day Hodgepodge: Gov. Robert Bentley...It's a Family Affair!!

Happy Hump Day, Bitches!!

As I type this, I am hyped up!!

Hyped up because my kid got an F on his Geometry test; I just downed a bottle of NOS, and Michele “Bat Shit Crazy” Bachmann is on TV and she gives me much wood.

Somebody Stop Me!!

Anyhoo…Let’s do some Hump Day Hodgepodge.

From the philosophical mouth of newly elected Alabama Governor Robert Bentley, here’s a quote we should all live by:

''Now I will have to say that, if we don't have the same daddy, we're not brothers and sisters. So anybody here today who has not accepted Jesus Christ as their savior, I'm telling you, you're not my brother and you're not my sister, and I want to be your brother."

So folks, if you’d like to be Gov. Robert Bentley’s brother or sister, accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, and you’ll become his sister or brother…which is cool, because I think in Alabama that will allow you to marry him as well.

Speaking of the Holy Baby Jeebus, I was reading some old posts and came across this J-Man cartoon that never fails to crack me up:

Ha and Boy Howdy!! That’s some good stuff right there.

I felt bad today.

This morning while taking Schmoop to work, I was getting irritated by the fact that I had to wait for what seemed like an hour while some little kid boarded the school bus.

After the little shit FINALLY boarded the bus and moved along allowing us to pass, my irritation turned to self-loathing.

The side of the school bus read, Clark County Developmental Disabilities. I shall never curse a school bus again.

And now…A shameless promotion for I’m With Stupid!!

Thursday at 11 PM EST on I’m with Stupid on Blog Talk Radio, Jayman and myself will be airing our Unemployment Show!!

Itsa gonna be HUGE!!

We’re going to talk about the funnier and irritating things about my present, “Lunch is on you Uncle Sam” time, and Jay will speak to his past experience being on the public buffet.

We will also be discussing and previewing next week’s State of the Union Address, touch upon the “new civility” in Washington, D.C., and there will be a, Moment of Matt-Man’s OCD.

All of this and your phone calls Thursday at 11 PM EST on I’m With Stupid.

So listen in and call in. Our I’m With Stupid page can be accessed by clicking HERE, and the call-in number is 661.244.9852

Have a wonderful Hump Day and as always…



Michele said...

Love the cartoon. That woman is scary. What are you going to do about the boy?

Jay said...

The shorter the bus, the longer it takes to load.

Michelle Bachmann may be crazy, and we may be talking "scary crazy" instead of "fun crazy," but she IS hot. Not quite Christine O'Donnell hot, but still, pretty hot.

Raquel's World said...

Oh lordy. You know what I do that is jacked up? I love to use the word retarded. My best friend has a special needs son and has told me how that word offends her but every damn time I am on the phone with her or with her I mess up and call someone or something retarded. I am always apologizing for that. Thank god she loves me anyway.

Love the cartoon.

Matt-Man said...

Michele: He has plenty of help around him if he doesn't understand shit and he has been told that a myriad of times. He's 16. It's time to let him fail if that's what he wants to do. Cheers Michele!!

Jay: It was a full size school bus, that's what threw me off. Bastards. Cheers Jay!!

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: I use the word all the time, mainly when describing myself. I wouldn't worry 'bout it. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Dianne said...

I love the point about once they're brothers and sisters in Jesus they can marry each other

then (I believe) they also qualify for self-loathing gay sex in public bathrooms

Probably Wrong Bondo said...

I long for the days when a retard was a retard, a midget was a midget, and a chink was a chink. Is that so wrong?

Matt-Man said...

Dianne: I believe in self loathing, gay sex in bathrooms too, but I was young and needed the money. Cheers Sexy!!

P-Man: I do too. What's the big fuckin' deal. Get over it or don't people!! Cheers P-Man!!

Beth said...

Ok, I commented, can you stop witholding sex now??

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Ohhhh okay. But ya could have said something funny, and not be all stoic and Teutonic about our agreement. Cheers and Zoooooooves!!

Desert Rat said...

Oooh! Nice cartoon! ;-D

I used to ride a short bus...

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Hee. But you're not retarded; I make a point of letting everyone know that. Cheers Hot Stuff!!

Knight said...

Ha. That is so disabled of you.

Wait so I can't have a brother from another savior?

Matt-Man said...

Knight: You can have whatever you'd like, but keep in mind,that could precipitate a thorny situation. Cheers Knight!!

Mike said...

"Itsa gonna be HUGE!!"

Why does huge only have one G and small have two L's? It seems backwards.

Matt-Man said...

Mike: Ha...You have officially lost it, and I love it. Cheers Mike!!