Sunday, January 16, 2011

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Ghetto Winterization

It’s going to be a cold, but sunny Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio today, and I dig it.

I wouldn’t mind if was 50 Below Zero today, because it is such a joy to see the sun for the first in what seems like weeks.

The continual skies of gray and gloom have put me in a funk and zapped me of all strength.

Not just any funk either, it was an uber-funk.

For example…

Last night I was so drained of mirth and merriment that upon returning home from Ryno’s basketball game, I only had four beers…rejected Schmoop’s advances and offers of hot sex, and fell asleep on the couch while watching The Rob Dennis Show.

That’s huge folks because I never miss The Rob Dennis Show. It is THE worst cable access show in the history of local TV. I never miss it because it is sooooo bad it’s hilarious. But, my funk put me into a coma.

Alas, today, the sun is out, and much like Ultra Man I will fly towards it and recharge my batteries. Praise Jeebus!!

I mentioned earlier that it is cold. The windows in the Bagwine digs are paper thin so this year we employed a simple but effective winterization technique.

We put plastic over the main window in the living room. We can really tell the difference, but there had to be some alterations to our first application.

You see…our adorable but less than bright cat Corky, could not and continues to not recognize that there is plastic over the window, and you can see the results of such…

That’s right. That’s duct tape on the plastic. It is there to cover the holes that Corky created by trying to jump through it in order to sit in the window sill.

Oh well…ghetto winterization is better than freezing, and later today Corky is gonna find that out when I make her sit outside in the cold for twenty minutes as I mock her mercilessly.

Amen, and Amen…

I will be more sparse than usual through Tuesday as I actually have things I must get done. One of those things being tomorrow morning’s Annual MLK, JR. Day breakfast with just myself and Ryno.

It’s always a good time full of laughs, mocking of others, and bacon…Lots and lots of bacon.

Have a wonderful day all…



Joker_SATX said...


David said...

MLK would certainly approve of lots bacon on the menu but I suspect he likely would be at breakfast with one of his mistresses rather than one of his sons.

Enjoy the holiday and today's sunshine.

Scott Oglesby said...

It gets below freezing here every night but between 11am and 4pm it’s been going up into the mid 80’s. It’s the nicest winter since we’ve been here.

Enjoy your trip to the center of the sun!

Jay said...

Duct Tape pretty much makes everything better.

Matt-Man said...

Joker: What could be better? Cheers Joker!!

David: My mistress will be waiting back at the Bagwine digs. Don't tell Schmoop. Cheers David!!

Matt-Man said...

Scott: Lucky Bastard. I hope I don't suffer the same fate as Icarus. Cheers Scott!!

Jay: The Handyman's Best Friend!! Cheers Jay!!

Raquel's World said...

That is ghetto! But it looks like blinds so who cares. RA was too lazy to put up plastic so he went around all the windows with duct tape, just the edges? Anyhoo the tape was from the dollar tree therefore it peeled off as soon as the wind blew.

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