Monday, February 21, 2011

Muammar Gaddafi: Happy Brotherly Leader and Guide to the Revolution Day!!

What’s up with the title of this post, you ask? Well, let me tell you.

I know it’s President’s Day, but c’mon; Gaddafi is like a President, and…He needs my help.

In Libya, as we speak, turmoil is raging and thousands of Libyans are being beaten and gunned down for their overzealous and misplaced ingratitude toward my friend, Muammar Gaddafi, or as I call him…

M-Gad Bling.

M-Gad and I go way back.

We’ve been posse pals since 1992 when I went to Tripoli for an experimental medical treatment which cured me of my uber-rare case of syphilis which oddly enough was confined to my right palm and left big toe.

He visited me in the hospital, brought me flowers, and he and I have shared a glorious fidel/infidel relationship ever since.

We share weekly phone calls. Exchange Christmas and Ramadan presents, and spend August evenings on the Barbary coast drinking up the Mediterranean breezes.

Gaddafi and I go together like saffron and rice…cheap wine and feta…indeed, we go together like Silvio Berlusconi and 17 year old Moroccan babes at a bunga bunga party.

So, if the State Department allows it, I will fly to Tripoli tonight to be with Gaddafi in order to offer him a pre-rioter smack down pep talk, a bit of levity, and in a way...

Simply provide M-Gad with some much needed non Muslim Brotherhood.

I know he’d like that, and the best thing about my trip?

Don’t believe for a minute Gaddafi doesn’t drink alcohol. He’s a big fan of Orange Juice and Ouzo.

So, I with my Wild Irish Rose and he with his Greek Screwdrivers, will get our collective freak on and have our own bunga bunga party with his hot bodyguard babes.

My friend M-Gad has been in power for over forty years, and here’s to forty more.

The man is grossly misunderstood and deserves better from the selfish and unappreciative rioting Libyan thugs.

However, as it is President’s Day here in the States, I offer this commercial for Deng Zhou Fillmore’s Air Force Yum restaurant.

Air Force Yum is a restaurant which features menu items inspired by American Presidents. If you can, take 3 1/2 minutes out of your busy day and give it a listen…

(if the button fails to work, click where it says,

Have a wonderful day, and if I make it to Tripoli, I’ll send postcards.



Jay said...

I'm glad you're standing by Col. Gaddafi cause I think you're his only friend.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: All the more important that I stand with him, hold his hand, and help him to correct the wrongs that are happening to him. Cheers Jay!! said...

You're a swell friend.

Matt-Man said...

Steven: Ha. And I'll be promoting good will towards America and the West as I party with my buddy. Cheers Steven!!

Mike said...

Don't bother with a return ticket. Schmoop could use the money.

Michele said...

Have fun over there. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do.

MysteryChick said...

Bring bacon, you'll make a mint on the black market!

Matt-Man said...

Mike: If I didn't return, she'd come looking for me. She even said so in an email. Cheers Mike!!

Michele: If I went to Libya, I don't think that's possible. Cheers Michele!!

Chick: Logan Airport 8:15 tonight...Be there, you're going with me. Cheers Sexy!!

sybil law said...

Pretty sure I read about your syphilis case in a medical journal, somewhere. Maybe a freak show mag - I don't know.
Ouzo and o.j. makes me ill even thinking about it!

Matt-Man said...

Sybil: I am famous,,,at least medically...wanna go out? CHeers Hot Lips!!