Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen...Mr. Googly Fruit !!

As this is like my 1,830 post over nearly five years, I have lost perspective on what I am doing…Ergo…

I am allowing one of the more quiet Bagwine Digs residents to take control of today’s post.

Folks…Meet Mr. Googly Fruit…


He will take you through a tour of the Bagwine digs through his eyes.

Hi Guys!! I love Matt-Man and Schmoop. Even though I am a tacky piece of early seventies "art", they let me sleep in their bed at times...

More often than not, I sleep with Schmoop when Matt-Man can't get it up because he has had wayyyy too much Wild Irish Rose!!

As I am comprised of fruit, albeit the cheap glass and whatever variety...They protect my color and sheen by placing me under a sun lamp from time to time in order to maintain my vivaciousness...

They have a cat named Corky who sheds a lot, tosses furballs a lot, and sniffs me like I'm a can of tuna or something...

I like the deaf, mute, stuffed dog that they call Helen Keller. The continuous presence of Jesus, however; freaks me the fuck out.

Matt-Man and Schmoop like their food, but as you can see...They enjoy their beer even more.
And eggs...they like eggs...

So there you have it folks...A look at Matt-Man, Schmoop, and the Bagwine Digs through me, Mr. Googly Fruit. I hope you enjoyed it.

Cheers!!

20 comments:

Mike said...

Mr. Googly Fruit needs to be altered. Cut the lemon top in half and turn it into a screw top. Use him as a secret backup WIR storage device.

Clay Perry said...

thats just plain fucked up matt. how did i get interested in the point of view of a pile of fake fruit. write a book already.

Evil Twin's Wife said...

It's fitting that there are grapes on there. I think that's what makes WIR. Or wait, maybe that's rubbing alcohol and turtle pee....

Matt-Man said...

Mike: That's not a bad idea, however I don't like to hide my Rose. I drink it proudly and loudly. Cheers Mike!!

Clay: Ha. I'm working on the book, but I'm glad in the meantime, Mr. Googly could capture your imagination. Cheers Clay!!

Evil: I can't believe that you disssed the beauty that is Wild Irish Rose. Much like the grapes of which you speak, I am crushed. Cheers ETW!!

irene said...

this made me smile and giggle a little too much.I think I need help.

David said...

Are WIR and its origins related to the grapes of wrath? Talk amongst yourselves to quote the Church Lady.

Matt-Man said...

Irene: Hee Hee. No you don't. Giggling at inanimate fruit with googly eyes is good fun. Cheers Irene!!

Matt-Man said...

David: I prefer to call WIR, the Grapes of Matt. Cheers David!!

Raquel's World said...

Now that was original but your fridge cracks me up...beer, milk, sour cream WTH??

MysteryChick said...

OK, what kind of fruit is under his googly eyes and why does it look like a t-bag? Also, why am I the only one who noticed this? Must be channeling my inner 14 year-old boy today...

Knight said...

That was so fucking weird.

Beth said...

Ha! Great Post Matt-Man!!!!

Jay said...

I'm glad I didn't read this before I went to bed last night, or I would have had nightmares about Mr. Googly Fruit. Dude is seriously creepy.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: Ha. What else does one need? We'll go to the grocery one day soon...really. Cheers Roc!!

Chick: Ha I dunno. It looks like an unripened plum. Cheers Chick!!

Knight: It was even weirder while we were taking the pictures with a buzz on. Cheers Knight!!

Matt-Man said...

Schmoop: Why thank ya dear, and thanks for the help. Cheers and Zooooves!!

Jay: Creepy? He's a happy fruit, and he wants to be your friend. Cheers Jay!!

sybil law said...

I think it's Miss Googly Fruit, because I sure as hell didn't see a banana.

Desert Rat said...

Ha!

Matt-Man said...

Sybil: He's very modest. He keeps it hidden behind the grapes. Cheers Sybil!!

Rat: I think that was your best comment evah. Cheers Adorable One!!

Dana said...

Ummmmmmm ...

Matt-Man said...

Dana: What? He's cute. Cheers Dana!!