Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Old Friends...Getting Older

It is going to be a mostly cloudy but not so bad Sabbath and first day of Spring in Bagwine, Ohio today.

Schmoop and I are once again speaking but we have yet to have sex. In fact, I don’t think we ever will again…

At least with each other…

So on that note, I am announcing that Schmoop and I are taking applications for free wheelin’, no strings attached sex partners.. Direct your inquiries, along with your pictures to me at

We actually did have a most wonderful time at a 50th birthday party for an old friend of mine yesterday.

Birthday Boy Ken and his lovely wife Nat were wonderful and Ken’s mom was a riot. She thoroughly enjoyed cracking wise at my expense. As I consider myself a walking, talking public service, I like that.

Many from the “old ’hood” were there, including a couple who are both in their nineties, and the Mrs. of the couple made me laugh.

When Ken’s mom asked Mrs. W if she remembered who I was, Mrs. W responded:

“I don’t which one he is, but I know he’s one of those Mahoney boys.”

The mixture of both amusement and disdain in her nearly century old voice when she uttered that, was priceless.

Anyhoo…It was nice to tip a few with old friends and cut up with some people I really didn’t know.

Nat and Ken’s mom, threw a very nice soiree, and I thank them for that.

In case you missed it and have nothing to do on this first day of Spring, give our latest installment of I’m With Stupid a listen by utilizing this handy dandy BTR machine:

Listen to internet radio with Im With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio

Have a great Sunday…

I’m going to spend mine trying to find an attractive homeless woman who would be happy to have sex with me for a 40 of King Cobra and a half a pack of Marlboros.

Amen, and Amen...



David said...

Wow - you are either feeling generous or desperate - alcohol and cigs for sex???

Glad you had fun at the soiree. Actually I didn't know people in a flyover state like OH had soirees - I thought they just had parties.

Soiree is to party like French fry is to Freedom fry....yes?

Matt-Man said...

David: In spite of the Bagwine denizes' penchant for King Cobra they are quite eclectic and dig a good soiree. Cheers David!!

Jay said...

I hope you wore your tuxedo t-shirt to this soiree.

Anonymous said...

Did you visit the wooded area that was beside their house? Or at least where the wooded area used to be? I think there is a cherry tree there now.

Mike said...

HEY! You forgot to give us Schmoop's email address!


Just go to the grocery store and stand by the dairy section.

sybil law said...

I'm confused - why no sex?!
Anyway, glad the party was fun! Sounds awesome. Happy 1st day of Spring!

Matt-Man said...

Jay: I almost did butopted instead for my, "WHAT? I Can't Hear You Over My Awesomess!!" shirt.

Anonymous: Why yes there is, and I am happy knowing that I helped to plant the seed of that wonderful tree. Cheers !! ; )

Matt-Man said...

Mike: All inquiries for Schmoop have to come through me. She wouldn't be able to respond to all the e-mail. Cheers Mike!!

Israel: Ha. I like that. Cheers IC!!

Sybil: Actually? We don't really know. Odd. Cheers Sybil!!