Monday, April 11, 2011

Dr. Kevin Leman: He Thinks He Knows Matt-Man

Via my Yahoo homepage, I came across an article about how birth order affects one’s love life.

It was excerpted from the book, “The Birth Order Book” by Kevin Leman, PhD. I must say, what was stated about my birth order was dead on.

I am the youngest of nine and here are some things Dr. Leman says about the youngest siblings of families.

If you are a youngest child…

“You are all about fun…On a typical first date you’ll have your date laughing so hard that water shoots out his or her nose.”

This is true indeed, however while it may seem fun, after years of being spewed upon by cold beer and warm projectile snot, I’ve learned to wear a butcher’s apron and surgical mask during all first dates.

It’s a little awkward for the chick at first, but my humor always overcomes her doubt, undresses her concept of acceptable societal norms, and I remain dry and unsticky.

Dr. Leman continues…

“And forget ho-hum plans like dinner and a movie; you love to do the unexpected, often on the spur of the moment. You’re the type to take someone to a party only to whisper, “Let’s get out of here” two minutes later…”

This is somewhat true as well. I am not big on making plans, however…

As evidenced by my history of having sex on beaches, bars, sidewalks, backseats of cars, meat coolers, stock rooms, and public restrooms, I never feel the need to say, “Let’s get out of here.”

My spontaneity is pretty much comfortable having sex wherever I stand, lay, walk, or pee. I’m cool like that.

Dr. Leman unfortunately goes on to accurately describe my youngest child drawbacks…

“Babies are the least financially dependable,” warns Dr. Leman. That means your date may be stuck picking up the tab when your credit card is maxed out.

Also, some youngest children use that last-born charm and charisma to be a bit, ahem, manipulative…”

Now c’mon Dr. Leman…

I am completely financially dependable. For rest assured, people can depend on me to immediately spend any money that comes my way!! I am financially consistent!!

And what’s with this, using charm and charisma to manipulate others?

Any scrap of charm or charisma I have ever mustered has been used for what is good…for what is right, and wholesome.

Ask anyone who barely knows me. I vociferously take exception with Dr. Leman on that point, but on a few things, as I said, he was dead on.

If you’d like to read about your particular birth order and how it may affect you, you can read the entire article by clicking HERE.

Have a wonderful Monday folks, and as always…

Cheers!!

14 comments:

Mark Zellner said...

Haha, funny review of Leman's book. I just read one of his other books, but haven't made it to that one yet. I wonder what it'd say about the middle child... Looks like you've got yourself an funny blog! -Z

Matt-Man said...

Mark: Ha. He covers middle kids in the article I linked. Thanks for stopping by and for the comment. Cheers Mark!!

Jay said...

He didn't get you exact, but I think he has described each of the Brady children perfectly.

Matt-Man said...

Jay: Ha. If you ask Schmoop, she would say that he got me EXACTLY right. Cheers Jay!!

Mike said...

'consistent'

Now there's a nice general catch all word. Even if you're inconsistant you could say you're consistant about being inconsistant.

Beth said...

Ha! Dead on balls accurate! About you anyway, me...not so much. Does he have a section about youngest children living in a bubble? That is so me;)

Matt-Man said...

Mike: I agree. We could call it the "Newt Gingrich Syndrome." Cheers Mike!!

Schmoop: No. He didn't cover "Bubble Babies", but I'm sure could write a report on that. Cheers and Zoooooves!!

Raquel's World said...

These things always annoy me because I am the
3rd of 4 biological kids. Does that make me a middle kid?
There was over a decade between me and my oldest sisters and then 10 months later my mom had a son so am I the oldest??
Or the youngest of the three girls?
Or the middle of the group or what??
I have the first born tendencies?
But share lots with the middle kid too?
Uggh It is so confusing.

Matt-Man said...

Raquel: That is vexing, perplexing, and quite the connundrum as to how you should be classified. How about we just go with, HOT!! Cheers Roc!!

Desert Rat said...

Well, I'm a first born and so is my spouse - but because his brother is seven years younger than he is, it's more like he's an only child. Amazingly, it's working out pretty well!

Matt-Man said...

Rat: Ha. Well that's good to know Rat. Cheers Adorable One!!

Cheesy said...

Been absent for awhile... needed to send you a hug babe
[[[[[u]]]]]]

Matt-Man said...

Cheesy: Awwwww. Why thanks Cheese. That was incredibly sweet. Hope you are well. Cheers Cheese!!

Raquel's World said...

Hot sounds good to me!