Thursday, June 30, 2011

I Need Some Recreational Counseling

I’ve got a vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and I need some ideas on what I should do.

I know…I touched on this briefly not too long ago, but c’mon…

Being off work that long is pure torture for me. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I love my job or anything, but…I just…get…bored. Even with just one day.
Matt-Man as usual will be working everyday that week, and I will be at a total loss.

I do have “plans” to clean out closets and such, but I can only do that until I pass out. What? You clean closets sober? Well la dee da!!

I could always nail Matt-Man in the afternoon before he goes to work. Okay…there’s fifteen minutes per day. Hmmmm…

I need something to do that does not require showering or wearing pants.

Something that does not require money (except for beer money) or for me to go anywhere (except on a beer run).

I guess I will need groceries. Hmmmm…frozen pizzas are $1.29. Maybe they will even be on sale!! Okay, that’s taken care of. Whew!!

Oh, and if you are wondering…I won’t put pants on to go get beer. I like to give Matt-Man and the other two yayhoos at the Beer Mine at least one thrill in their otherwise poor, pathetic lives.

Boy shorts and greasy hair, bitches!! That’s how I’ll go.

Oh and don’t even suggest that I go camping. The thought of camping tightens my colon.

Okay, so now we have my do’s and my don’ts…

What are your ideas?

Keep in mind, I am a pretty particular person and kind of fancy, which means of course…

I’m boring and cheap.

But please…Give me your ideas as to what I can do for an entire week, ‘cause if you don’t, I’ll do what I always do…

Lay on the couch watching SpongeBob as drool oozes down the side of my face.

Now that right there, is HAWT!!

Zoooooves!!

15 comments:

IWS Radio said...

You could mix it a bit by watching about six episodes of "30 Minute Meals" each day too. That's probably what I would do.

Beth said...

Jay: Oh No! Can't stand the Rachel! I'd rather stare at the ceiling. Hmmm.

IWS Radio said...

You could take a cooking lesson or two at the local Community College. Just sayin'. Cheers Schmoop!!

Matt-Man

Beth said...

Matt: I KNOW how to cook buttmunch! I just choose not to;)

Knight said...

Put an inflatable kiddie pool in the living room and sit in their while you watch SpongeBob. It will feel like a beach trip.

Beth said...

Knight: You always have great ideas! You've done this, haven't you?

Rich said...

I'd suggest grabbing a chaise lounge chair, 2 six packs & start throwing jarts at the lawn maintenance guys until you hit one.

MysteryChick said...

The kiddie pool is a good idea, just don't sit in it for too long. Yeast infections suck but then again clearing that up could keep you busy.

Beth said...

Chick: You're right, I never thought about that. How about a sandbox instead? No, I have a cat.

Beth said...

Rich: Sorry I missed you. Damn boss bugging me again. Gosh, you'd think I was at work. Oh yea. Anyway, I think that is a most excellent idea. I'm adding it to the list.

Rich said...

YaY! I made the cut...for once.

Beth said...

Rich: Of course you did! I just have sight issues;)

sybil law said...

Go somewhere you've always liked in the past. Like, for me that would be the art museum. Somewhere I don't go nearly enough (and it's free, here).

Or, just play music loudly and clean and dance around the house. That's fun. Especially if you don't clean. And drink.

Eh, my brain is mush. I've been at an educational meeting with Catholics all night.

Beth said...

Sybil: Those are great ideas, except for that whole cleaning thing! Education conference? With Catholics? Drink my dear, you deserve it!

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