Sarah Palin Resigns...Why Do I Care?

Now that the holiday weekend is over, there will be much buzz going on in the news about Gov. Sarah “Lame and Dull” Palin.

Sure, she resigned last Friday, which in the 24/7 cable news/talk show cycle is an eon ago, but it didn’t get in-depth coverage because she announced her resignation just hours before the kick-off to the July 4th celebrations.

Throughout the day on Monday, coverage of Palin on MSNBC, FOX News, and others, will be speculative and exhausting.

There are many questions to be answered in reference to her self-imposed termination…

Is she guilty of ethics violations? Did she give favors and kick backs to contractors? Is she the true mother of Michael Jackson’s children?

I have no answer, but those queries do bring another question to my mind. Why in the hell should I care?

Certainly blogs like, The Mudflats and blogger/commentators such as Shannyn Moore should care. After all, they cover Alaskan politics.

But as for me? Eh…To me, she is just a flash in the political pan who has demonstrated that with a wink, a smile, and a decent ass, mediocrity can rise to the top.

Palin claimed that she has been abused by the left-wing bloggers, the left-wing media and by folks like Shannyn Moore who had better silence their “libelous” attacks on her or run the risk of being sued.

Whatever Gov. China Doll…You tried to play with the big boys in the art of national politics and you got broken.

The thing of it is, Palin was the catalyst of her own shattering. She wasn’t ready for prime-time and it showed.

She will never be ready and yet she, for some insane reason, continues through her actions and statements to illuminate that fact.

One of her claims as to why she would make an effective leader is that she is just like the average Joe…just like the neighbor next door…just a hockey mom.

I don’t think that’s true. I believe her to be overly ambitious and intellectually challenged.

I find it abhorrent that she gladly struts her family and their difficulties onto the national stage and then feigns outrage when the press talks about said difficulties in a negative light.

Most of the average Joes, neighbors, and moms that I know wouldn’t put their ambitions and delusions of grandeur ahead of their families or their friends.

She is at best, average, and at worst, a woman who has suffered irreversible brain damage from too much Midnight Sun.

I don’t want a less than average leader and I sure as hell don’t want a quitter. We already have enough of those in government and she is both.

So, that takes me back to my initial question…Why do I and others outside of Alaska care about what is going on with Sarah Palin?

I think that when John McCain chose her as his running mate, he and Palin became different people.

John McCain became Bill Veeck in his years as owner of the St. Louis Browns baseball team and Palin became Eddie Gaedel whom Veeck hired to play for the Browns in 1951.

A 26 year old midget, wearing elf shoes, the number 1/8, and standing only 3’7” tall, Gaedel had one at bat. He walked, and was then replaced by a pinch runner.

Gov. Palin when on the national stage with the likes of Biden, Obama, McCain, Romney, and others, appears to be that same midget wearing elf shoes.

For much the same reason Veeck hired Gaedel, McCain hired Palin because she was a novelty.

And, I guess that is why I still follow the trials and tribulations of Palin. She’s a novelty. (And unintentionally funny)

Unfortunately, while Veeck, Gaedel, and McCain understood that a novelty is a short-lived and often, singular point in time, Palin does not.

From here on out and especially in 2012 the GOP cannot afford (not that I care) to have a pinch hitting midget stepping into the batter’s box against the hard throwing southpaw that is the Obama political machine.

The GOP needs a bona fide major leaguer who can swing at the fences with authority and hit left handed pitching…And, it ain’t Palin.

Cheers!!

Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Hey Marty and MB!? Thanks So Much for a Great Time

It's going to be a decent Sabbath in Bagwine, Ohio. Hopefully, most people have partied themselves out making my 11-7 shift at the Beer Mine today, relatively peaceful.

I have a pictoral re-cap of the Bagwine 4th of July festivities held yesterday at the new home of my brother and his wife.

Here it is...Our destination...No, not the telephone pole, the gazillion square foot house with a pond and room for a pony behind it.



Here, my brother Marte' and Mr. Mullet Man, my brother Vince are chatting. I am sure that Vince is saying, "C'mon...fire up the grill." To which I am sure Marty replied, "Fuck You. It's my house, I'll cook when I'm ready."

Okay...Marty is ready to grill Italian Sausages, Brats, and Chub Burgers. It's a good thing too. See that young man in the corner of the pic? That's my nephew, Kevin. He's a former Divsion I College football offensive lineman. He's 6'8", 300 lbs., and I'm sure, quite hungry.

Of course, what is a party without live entertainment? This guy was really good and could play damn near any request. Marty and his wife go all out when hosting. That's another brother in the foreground. That's the aforementioned Kevin's dad, Denny.

Denny, is a semi-regular Bagwine reader and upon being introduced to Beth for the first time, he paused, smiled and then said, "Heyyyy, You're Schmoop!!"

Here's a shot of half-buzzed fun seekers collecting butt splinters. Nice porch, eh?

Let's take a walk 'round the front of the house and see if we can find where the crowd is.

Ahhhhhh. Here's a gaggle of festive folks. They're hiding out in the garage because it's a bit rainy on this otherwise fine day.

You can't see it in the above picture but there are two kegs. One Mich Light and one of Rolling Rock. It was delicious.

There is also a Sno-Cone machine. Next to the Sno-Cone machine were bottles of Vodka for that always tasty Adult Sno-Cone.

Lastly, a longtime friend of mine and more so of Marty's was there. I give you, Andy...He's the penultimate mixture of nerd, smart guy, funny guy, and sexual deviant.

Just so you'll feel closer to him, I give you Andy's crotch...

There you have it folks.

The apartment chaos is over with.

The 4th of July festivities are over, and beginning tomorrow...

It's back to the business of being funny here at Bagwine Ruminations.

Amen, and Amen...

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, you chuckleheads.

Cheers!!

Adams, Jefferson, Franklin, and...Palin?

Happy Independence Day, Bitches!!

Today, many Americans will celebrate our country’s founding by throwing burgers and dawgs on the grill, swilling beer, and setting off fireworks.

Gov. Sarah Palin will celebrate the 4th of July by counting down the days until July 26th when she asserts her personal independence and walks away from her duties as Governor of Alaska.

That’s right…She announced at a hastily called press conference yesterday that she will resign from office effective July 26th.

Hee Hee. I’m pretty broken up about it. I am even more perplexed, because she really didn’t give any concrete reasons for her decisions.

She mentioned that people were attacking her son, Trig, and that a good point guard in basketball passes the ball so the team can win. WTF?

I think there is something more to her leaving office after 2 ½ years than what lies within the convoluted statement that she gave.

Does she really think she can better serve herself by quitting her job and start running now for President in 2012?

Does she think people will take a less than bright chick who served as Governor of Alaska for less than three years seriously?

My guess is that someone has offered her a lucrative job as some type of TV talk show host or something media related. If that comes to fruition, you heard it here first.

Anyhoo, enough about Gov. Dimbulb. It’s a day of celebration, and the Schmoop and I are going to be partying down at a soiree thrown by my brother, Marte’ and his lovely wife.

It has all the makings of a rollicking good Independencepalooza…Kegs O’ Beer, Brats, Burgers, and dozens of good natured, independence loving Americans.

God help my brother’s neighbors…I’ll take pictures o’ plenty of the patriotic partiers and the carnage that will be generated.

Since it is our nation’s birthday today, I thought I’d put up a relevant You Tube video.

I give you the sexiest scientist in all of these Untied States singing our country’s National Anthem.

Ladies and Gentlemen, the uber lovely and witty, Desert Rat. Enjoy.

Have a safe and fun-filled 4th of July everyone.

Cheers!!