See the picture above? Do you know what it is?
If you answered, “a box of Cap’n Crunch, dumbass”, you are only partially correct. It is much more than that.
This one pound box of a CHILD’S cereal was purchased by and for my 42 YEAR OLD girlfriend, Schmoop.
Cost? Five bucks…
But you see folks, as I stated above, it is much more than a mere box of cereal.
In two or three weeks, after maybe eating one bowl full, it will go stale, and she will take it over to her mom’s house so it can be used to feed the birds that grace her mom’s backyard.
It will not become just any birdseed…It will become very expensive birdseed.
Now the birdseed pictured above, can be had for $1.49/lb. Hmmmmm. $1.49/lb compared to the Cap’n Crunch “birdseed” at $5.00/lb.
Hey Schmoop, when you take the cereal to your mom’s, why not take a $3.50 gallon of milk for the birdbath so the crows and grackles can have a big ol’ avian breakfast bar!?
While the birds get their Thiamin, Riboflavin, and Folic Acid courtesy of the Cap’n, they can get the calcium that they need from the moo juice.
Now, when Schmoop reads this, I am sure she will respond with the following…
Uh-huh…You may say that now, Mizz Thang, but mark my words.
Very soon, the day will come when you awaken with a massive hangover. And you will say to me, “Do we have enough money to get some hangover food from Taco Bell?”
If you answered, “a box of Cap’n Crunch, dumbass”, you are only partially correct. It is much more than that.
This one pound box of a CHILD’S cereal was purchased by and for my 42 YEAR OLD girlfriend, Schmoop.
Cost? Five bucks…
But you see folks, as I stated above, it is much more than a mere box of cereal.
In two or three weeks, after maybe eating one bowl full, it will go stale, and she will take it over to her mom’s house so it can be used to feed the birds that grace her mom’s backyard.
It will not become just any birdseed…It will become very expensive birdseed.
Now the birdseed pictured above, can be had for $1.49/lb. Hmmmmm. $1.49/lb compared to the Cap’n Crunch “birdseed” at $5.00/lb.Hey Schmoop, when you take the cereal to your mom’s, why not take a $3.50 gallon of milk for the birdbath so the crows and grackles can have a big ol’ avian breakfast bar!?
While the birds get their Thiamin, Riboflavin, and Folic Acid courtesy of the Cap’n, they can get the calcium that they need from the moo juice.
Now, when Schmoop reads this, I am sure she will respond with the following…
Uh-huh…You may say that now, Mizz Thang, but mark my words.
Very soon, the day will come when you awaken with a massive hangover. And you will say to me, “Do we have enough money to get some hangover food from Taco Bell?”
After responding, “No.” You will ask, “What happened to all of the money?” To which I will simply reply:
“The fucking birds ate it all.”
Happy Monday, all.
Cheers!!
