Listen up, Bitches. I have of all things, a complaint about TV.
Now listen, I’m not someone who watches much TV at all. No, not because I am some type of elitist, but because the only TV that I typically watch is as follows…
News/Political Talk Shows…Sports…Seinfeld Re-Runs, and The Weather Channel.
It is the last mention, The Weather Channel, that has me furious. And trust me, the last time I was furious was when I found out that Schmoop only came once during our sex session
Laugh all you want, but trust me, I am pissed at my beloved Weather Channel. The meteorological muthafuckahs have sold out.
Let me ’splain.
Remember when MTV used to play music? Remember when VH-1 did the same? I know…I do too.
Of course they decided to go against their own grain and start showing and producing their own, “eclectic” productions.The Real World…Tia, I’m an Ugly Bisexual Bitch Idiot…Best Week Ever (Hosted by B-List Comedians and Actors in Rehab)
Oy Vay, and What the Fuck!?
Well my friends, The Weather Channel, which had been on the same slippery slope, has finally and completely jumped the shark and gone the same way as MTV and VH-1.
Starting July 20th, The Weather Channel will air a new segment on weekdays from 6-7 A.M. called, creepily enough, “Wake Up With Al”.
And who is the Al, with you and I will be awaking? Al Fucking Roker. That’s right. That big tub of vacuous, chocolate pudding that is Al Roker.
Holy Cow!! Or should that be, Holy Occluded Front!?
Listen up, my friends…I am quite the amateur meteorologist, and know more about weather than the average person. And, this action by The Weather Channel?
Well…it sticks deeply within my dew point, and my barometer is tossing mercury left and right.
I understand that NBC bought the Weather Channel, but does that mean that they need to sodomize America by showing Al Roker on TWO networks instead of one every weekday morning?
The Weather Channel has Jim Cantore, Mike Seidel, Heather “I Love Thunderstorms” Tesch (purrrrrrr) and other ACTUAL meteorologists.Why do they have to rain on my TV breakfast and pee on my eggs by thrusting Roker on me?
I hate Roker…First of all, he’s not an ACTUAL meteorologist and secondly he’s a hypocrite.
When Imus was on MSNBC, Roker said that he loved him and had always listened to him. Roker went on Imus’ show, and pimped his book.
When Imus called the Rutgers ladies b-ball team a bunch of nappy headed ho’s?
Roker was "OUTRAGED!!" Mainly because, Roker had already used Imus in order to pimp his book.
Gimme a break…I don't know, but I do hope Roker‘s stomach staples will someday give way. I do know a couple of things, however.
The Weather Channel is going to get ruined by NBC and their hiring of people who are not ACTUAL meteorologists in order to turn a profit.
And…
Al Roker is going to be struck down dead by lightning while eating a ham and cheese sandwich.
At least that’s my hope.
Cheers!!
Roker was "OUTRAGED!!" Mainly because, Roker had already used Imus in order to pimp his book.
Gimme a break…I don't know, but I do hope Roker‘s stomach staples will someday give way. I do know a couple of things, however.
The Weather Channel is going to get ruined by NBC and their hiring of people who are not ACTUAL meteorologists in order to turn a profit.
And…
Al Roker is going to be struck down dead by lightning while eating a ham and cheese sandwich.
At least that’s my hope.
Cheers!!
