Hi All, Schmoop here, and it’s Stream of Consciousness Monday!
To take a trademark line from the Jayman, Hola Bitches!! I just had a guy walk by my window. A guy…that looked just like Richie Valens. Unbelievable. I thought the poor bastard was dead. Have you ever gone to buy makeup, and can’t find the right color for your skin tone? Come with me to the Kroger store my friend, and talk to the Cover Girl foundation. “Where is the pasty white girl color?” Then, I find it, and the color is…
“Why Bother?” Why do men have no backfat? Hey!! Don’t stick that there while I’m typing, you goof.
Anyhoo... I do have booty shorts on, but what is the point if I still have a muffin top? By the way…what is a muffin top?
I don’t eat muffins. I eat ice cream. That guy really did look like Richie Valens. Pinky swear. We had four taco supremes, and four burrito supremes for dinner Saturday. Guess who ate the most? (not Matt) Did I mention the backfat? By the way, that is indeed one word. I have deemed it so. My fat ass cat is almost eleven years old. She is the prettiest, most intelligent, (ha) fluffiest kitteh in the world. Until she bites…me, and only me. I bought a “Swiffer” dust thingy today. Know why? Because kitteh is shedding like a mofo, and it is everywhere! The computer looks like Bigfoot. Alright…I’m drunk, and done. Thanks for hanging in wif me.
And don’t forget…
Matt and Jayman are broadcasting another award winning installment of I’m With Stupid at 11 AM EDT Monday on Blog Talk Radio. They are going to preview Monday night’s GOP debate in New Hampshire and try to tie up the ever continuing fallout over Weinergate. So join Jayman and Matt-Man Monday at 11 AM EDT on I’m With Stupid for, “No One Died, When Weiner Lied.” To access their radio page and join in on the fun, click HERE. Have a wonderful Monday you pretty people, you, and don’t forget about Matt-Man’s big announcement one week from today. Zoooooves!!
I have lived in the fair city of Bagwine Ohio my entire life. Indeed, I was born at the very hospital that sits across the street from my apartment.
Bagwine is not a small town, nor a metropolis by any means…It’s somewhere in the middle, I guess.
When I was growing up, everybody in the neighborhood knew everybody else. Granted, that’s not always a good thing when one is a kid trying to get away with something, but it was kind of comforting. All of us rugrats would run through yards, raise havoc, and stay out ‘til dark when invariably someone’s mom (or dad if one didn’t listen the first three times…Beth!!) would call us in. Bagwine had and still does have, a small town atmosphere.
Although geographically, the city has grown by leaps and bounds over my forty plus years, many places that a person needs to get to are still within walking distance. Some would say that that is a good thing. More business…more people…more “stuff”. To me… It’s simply, more motherfucking headaches. Neighbors don’t know each other any longer. Kids are surly, and…they ALL have cell phones. Everyone is afraid of everyone and everything else…Oy!! But things aren’t all bad in Bagwine. We will soon have a newer and bigger hospital. We already have a bigger and better High School, and we have four bazillion fast food restaurants. Big…Hairy…Balls…No One Cares. I’m sure Bagwine is like many other cities, and there is no sense bitching about it. I guess the young whippersnappers call it progress, but as for me and my town, I think it blows. So, my friends…I’ve become a nasty old curmudgeon, so what!? Hey!!? Hey!!? You kids with the cell phones and bad attitudes…Get off my God Damn Lawn!! Lastly…Make sure you listen to the I’m With Stupid show that Jay and Matt-Man did yesterday, it was one of their best ones evah.
There could be some permanent and profound changes coming to Bagwine Ruminations. Bagwine Ruminations could very well cease to exist as you know it. It seems that one of the myriad of ideas I have had, has actually taken off with others than myself, and I will be devoting the bulk of my time bringing that idea to fruition. It’s an interwebz, tubes of the internets, media idea I have had for a few hoursdays weeks , and… It was met with a more than lukewarm response. So… I may be sporadic over the next few days, but I will see if my BFF/OSP Schmoop, can muster up some entertainment for you on here. She’s always funny, and if things pan out, she may be ruining running this site anyway. In the meantime, you can always listen to the I’m With Stupid show that Jayman and I did yesterday. It was a fucking hoot, as we talked about Rep. Anthony Weiner’s…wiener. If there is any bit of a 12 year old boy or girl inside of you, you will love this show. You can listen to it by utilizing the handy dandy BTR machine below:
Evidently, one of I’m With Stupid’s fave congressmen, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) allegedly showed his manhood over the internets recently, and well…we are going to make a thousand and one jokes about it come to his defense. We want to salvage this man’s good name and be his reputation prophylactic of sorts. So there you have it. Join Jayman and me at 11 AM EDT on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio by clicking HERE. And/or… You can call us at 661.244.9852 Happy Memorial Day all, and as always… Cheers!!
