Memorial Day: A Salute and a SALUTE !!

In honor of Memorial Day 2011, I offer you a poem from my dad’s first book, Irish Coffee…

De Profundis

I was young at Gettysburg,
And though Spring has come and gone a hundred times,
I am not old.
I am still thirst-quenched by Summer’s rain,
and laughter, wind-borne, nourishes me.
Beside me, my Captain sleeps,
and often, in the cool silence of the tombs,
when lilacs bloom, I hear him sigh.

I need no granite monolith,
pillowed in the dust of a century,
to mark my name.
It is graven in the ridge above me,
and in the quiet valley that slopes toward the sea.

Jack Mahoney ©1974

Here’s to my dad, and to all who have fallen in defense of this great nation.

Amen.

Now, on a lighter note…

Jayman and I are doing another award winning installment of I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio for you today at 11 AM EDT.

As you may know…

On our Monday show, we like to just spontaneously jump into the news headlines that are rocking our world.

Today we will be talking about Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann and the 2012 GOP Presidential Primary field, but mainly we will be making topical jokes about dicks. Y’know…penises, dorks, wanks.

Evidently, one of I’m With Stupid’s fave congressmen, Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY) allegedly showed his manhood over the internets recently, and well…we are going to make a thousand and one jokes about it come to his defense.

We want to salvage this man’s good name and be his reputation prophylactic of sorts.

So there you have it.

Join Jayman and me at 11 AM EDT on I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio by clicking HERE. And/or…

You can call us at 661.244.9852

Happy Memorial Day all, and as always…

Cheers!!

The Louder You Scream, The More I Learn

So…

I walked into the house that I used to own this past Thursday in order to pick up my 16 year old son Ryno and take him to school.

I enter the house whistling a happy tune, and then…BAM!!

Between Ryno, his Mom’s body language, and lack of sarcasm directed toward me, I could immediately tell that things were not well.

It seems that our son, who has been doing much better academically, had recently fallen off the wagon of paying attention, and again doing what he had done in the past.

I’m down with that.
 
I mean, not down in a sense that that is okay, but rather he’s 16, digs chicks and basketball, and like his dad, has the attention span of…well…somebody’s who name escapes me. Anyhoo…

His mom is being nasty towards him.

He, in all his soon to be 17 year old glory, is holding back his tears, and I, sitting on the couch (of which I got a great deal back in the day) am feeling like B List actor Lloyd Bochner in an episode of the Twilight Zone, saying to myself…

“What the fuck?”

Ryno is a great kid. He’s funny. Respectful (for a 16 year old), and smart. The boy is lazy academically, and always has been until he needs to step it up.

Here’s the thing…

His Mom berates him because he does not get all A’s. She is constantly nagging him for not taking advantage of the private school he goes to…she doesn’t like his “misfit” friends.

First of all…

Much like his Dad, Ryno will never get A’s in Math. He can get perfect scores on English tests, but that matters not.

He has to be first in everything, or…he is last.

I know the feeling. I went through the same thing with her. I was never good enough. Other people had better houses, more money, and more importantly, more status…

What a joke. 

She literally berated me with nailed finger at my nose, pushed me around, and spit in my face. In spite of all the things I did to her, there’s no excuse for that.

 
I left that environment because well, Ryno was young and cried often because we fought. I’ve learned from that. But evidently, she hasn’t…

As he was tearing up on the way to school that day, Ryno said to me...

“Dad, I am never good enough; she yells and gets in my face with her finger and scares me freaking out.”

It has been too late for Ryno’s Mom and I to fix those things for years, but let’s hope she can fix things between her and Ryno before another man, namely Ryno, leaves her life, and she is left alone with her anger and her bigotry.

Her bigotry you ask? The “misfit” friends of Ryno’s who his mom referred to? They go to his private school because they have vouchers.

According to his Mom, they are a bad influence on Ryno, because as we all know, poor kids and kids of color are losers.

Yeah…That’s the kind of social bullshit and racial bigotry crap he lives with, but….He’s already beyond all that, I just wonder if someday soon, he will say...

“Mom, shut the Hell up, and leave my friends alone.”

I’m pretty sure he will, although unlike me, he'll be polite about it.

Cheers!!

Make sure you listen to I’m With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio tonight at 6:30 PM EDT. We are having a Memorial Day Weekend Extravaganza and want you to join in.

You can listen to us by clicking HERE and/or calling in at 661.244.9852

Here's To The Class of 2011

It's good to see that Blogger has corrected its problems and literary genii such as myself are able to once again spew their insightful commentary across and through the tubes of the internets.

I wrote a post Thursday night that was perhaps the funniest goddamn thing I have ever written, but was unable to put it up on my site because of Blogger's technical meltdown.  So...

You will never get to read that post and well, that's a fucking shame because it was hilarious times ten, however, do not lose heart my friends...

You will still get to laugh your precious little asses off at 6:30 PM EDT today when Jayman and I broadcast another award winning episode of I'm With Stupid on Blog Talk Radio.

We will be hailing and celebrating the young bucks and does who will be graduating from schools all across this nation this year, and indeed saying "good job" to all of us who have ever graduated from a school or penal/mental institution during:

I'm With Stupid: Pomp Or Circumstance.

We are going to talk about fun graduation party games, potential commencement speakers of 2011, and our personal stories of matriculatory climax.

For instance, you won't want to miss hearing me describe my wild wacky night of celebration following my graduation from Springfield North High School in June 1983.  It's scandalous!!

Also, IWS has exclusive access to former Vice-President and all around good egg, Dick Cheney, as he addresses the graduates of Miss Yousuf's 2011 kindergarten class at Snowhill Elementary school right here in Bagwine, Ohio.

Is that HUGE or what!?

If Time Warner doesn't fuck me again during the show, this may be the best installment of IWS evah.

Jay will undoubtedly say something I'm not expecting sending me in to a fit of laughter and Marlboro induced coughing, and I will say something that will force Jay to feign moral outrage.

Oh yeah bitches, all that and your phone calls at 661.244.9852 on I'm With Stupid at 6:30 PM EDT tonight on Blog Talk Radio.

You can access our BTR show page by clicking HERE.

I am working 11-4 today, but I hope to see you this evening on the radio.

Cheers!!