It’s going to be a gloomy Sabbath here in Bagwine, Ohio…but I’m off so, it’s all good.
Have you seen those Dos Equis beer commercials that feature “The Most Interesting Man in the World” dude?
The commercials say things like…“The police question him just because they find him interesting.” "He once had a staring contest with himself, and won.” and of course…
“He once had an awkward moment just to see how it would feel.” and at the end of the commercials he says...
“I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. Stay thirsty my friends.”
While I find the ads humorous, I also take exception with them. You know why? Because we all know that I am the most interesting man in the world.
I mean has this guy ever been invited to his brother’s house for a party, and after a few cheap beers found the bathrooms occupied so he went ahead like I did, and pissed in the cat’s litter box that was in the kitchen?
Has Mr. Uber-Interesting ever had sex on a public sidewalk with a chick in 20 degree weather on Thanksgiving night like I have!?
Has he gone to his friend’s house, met a busty mocha-cheena chick named Tiffany who after only twenty minutes asked him to go into the bathroom with her so she could show him her tits? And then, AND THEN…
Two hours later ol’ Tiffany gave the real most interesting man in the world, moi, a hand job while sitting and tipping a few in a bar together. Uh-Huh…More importantly…
Does this guy like I do, even know a black chick named Tiffany, I mean that’s a rare occurrence.
Can Dos Equis man tell the tale of spending part of his brother’s wedding reception in the men’s room of the hall having sex with his girlfriend in a stall while another one of his brother’s was taking a leak in the next stall over?
I don’t fucking think so. Has he like I have followed in the footsteps of Father Damien and gone to Molokai to cure the lepers? Okay, I didn’t, but only because Father Damien had cured them all.
And, while the Dos Equis guy once had an awkward moment just to see how it would feel, I have them all the time, on purpose. ‘Cause it in turn makes others feel awkward, and being the asshole I am, I dig that.
Yeah folks…Send that pretender away to a gulag, because I am the Most Interesting Man in the World, or...
Perhaps I am just a whore, who drinks cheap beer, and pees in litter boxes.
Naw…I am interesting…damn interesting, and remember…
I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Milwaukee’s Best Light. Stay Loaded My Friends!!
Amen, and Amen...
Cheers!!
“He has won trophies for his game face alone.”
