It’s Friday so you know what that means. It’s time for Matt-Man’s, “Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiiiday.”Where oh where to begin? First I thank you all who wished Hair Care Joe a Happy Birthday. I talked to Joe last night before he stepped out on the town. He hoped that his comments were amusing. I, of course, said no; however, when he asked that, I came up with an idea. I asked him if he would be willing to impart some of his wisdom to my readers on Fridays. Although apprehensive about being in the limelight, he agreed. So, beginning in the next week or two, we will have “Thoughts from Hair Care” on our Friday installments.
I just had an image in my mind of Speaker Dennis Hastert climbing atop the Empire State building and airplanes firing missiles at him. George Bush is an asshole. I’d love to get nekkid with Tyra Banks. Oh yeah, Matt-Man has a craving for some mocha cheena. Note to self: running low on Viagra.
ABC any goldfish? LMNO goldfish. Oh S A R!! It’s fun to talk in the alphabetic language. Why aren’t edible panties their own food group? I think my diet needs to have better portion control, so beginning today; I am only going to drink four fifths of Wild Irish Rose in a single sitting, instead of five. I hope my willpower is up to it.
I trimmed my fingernails last night. They were becoming a pain in the ass when I went to wipe. Ouch!! Tomorrow is Sweetest Day, and I have yet to buy anything for myself. I better hurry before everything gets picked over.
I just burped. One of those burps that comes up into the back of your throat. God, does that taste awful. Well folks, the stream is running dry. I may be back later if the mood strikes. Until then, Cheers…
And Now Our Moment of Motto…
Missouri: “The Show Me Your Tits State”
21 comments:
Those burps are "vurps" - vomit burps.....a too frequent occurance while listening to Jessica Simpson......should be listening to the Cars (Flip Fandango phoney)
I'm a psylocibin pony!! Rock on Ric Ocasek, Rock On...
I like your blog. Thanks for stopping by mine. I am adding your link to my list. Hope you'll add mine when ya have time!
Seriously, what kind of drugs do you take when I'm not looking?
Thanks alot Jessica, I will certainly do that!!
Schmoop, the Matt-Man's drug of choice is "life", and I OD on it everyday...the crowd bows their heads and snaps their fingers. Note to Self: Why am I beginning to refer to myself in the third person?
Just remember, Matt Man, Bob Dole refers to himself in the third person. He's also a big user of Viagra. MAN I could go for some pineapple upside-down cake. Speaking of upside down, that's how my head feels right now. That and like it was hit by a truck. Speaking of being hit, I got rear-ended last night. Only minor damage, but it's to my pristine, beautiful Rav, and I could absoultely kill somebody over it.
Man, I love these Streaming Fridays!
I have to pee now.
They are liberating indeed. Just like the liberation of Iraq. It's hot there, and sandy. Wasn't that Little Orphan Annie's dog's name? Hope your rear end is alright. What's that ringing sound in my ear? Mmmmmm a cookie crumb...
Stop with all of this streaming I mean it!
Anyone want a peanut?
What a delicious idea, Joe.
Painful wingernails while wiping...ya...smart move trimming them. ;)
Steve~
Damn straight Steven, and thanks for stopping by my site. Cheers!!
A Haiku for you!
I like the streaming.
You amuse me very much.
Loving Matt-Man's blog.
Ha...very good, and thanks!! I tried to comment on yours this morning, but Blogger was being uncooperative. I was just agreeing with you on blowing up Martha Stewart.
it's stream of consciousness Friday and it's two in the afternoon and I am finally getting to check my "first thing in the morning blogs" because of the wonky Blogger wasn't being cooperative. so now part of my day is shot but I actually got stuff done like placing an office supply order, oh and you'll be glad to know that my doc is increasing my mg of my meds...
oh wait, this is stream of counsciousness Friday not run-on sentence Friday.
Oh well.
Hope I didn't drive you to go find that other five-fifths of WIR.
Cheers, my friend.
Mo
Cheers to you Mo. Glad to hear you're seeking help for your multiple photoshop personalities, but I could have just sent you some Rose and you could have skipped the doc.
I love Stream-Of-Consciousness Fridays.
From edible underwear to wiping to burping, it's all there in one big disturbing pile. I love it.
Here's my own Haiku:
Stream of consciousness
Is a strange and bizarre thing
When it's Matt-Man's.
Have a lovely weekend, and try not to have a lousy rotten hangover like you did last Monday.
Unless you really want to.
If this is Stream of Consciousness, I wonder what Stream of Matt's Subconscious would be like.
When one runs low on Viagra, one should make do with aphrodisiacs: crushed pearls in WIR would be just the thing!
Lizza: Somehow I suspect MM's SUBconscious is a dark and scary place.
And I thought bacon was his aphrodesiac. (Wonder if he has any recipes that include WIR and bacon...)
My thoughts don't stream well.. so I'm glad it's Sunday! Oh don't you just despise the "inky depths" burps?
Love the Haiku...It can be a dark place Lizza. Sorry 'bout your Ducks Cheesy...
Tankz :o(
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