Let’s say that you are a novice to the whole Super Bowl extravaganza thing and are looking for tips and info on the big event. Well, maybe the following tidbits of insight and ideas will help to make the experience more fulfilling.The Essentials…
Number one, it is most helpful if you have a TV or at least access to a TV. If you don’t, it makes it kinda hard to watch the game. Oh sure you can listen to it on the radio but that is just stupid. I mean, if you become annoyed with the announcers babbling on, at least with a TV you can turn off the sound and still watch the game.
Alcohol is the next most important thing. “But I don’t need to drink to have a good time.” you say. Blow me you prissy, uptight, Bolshevik. Start off Sunday morning with a big pitcher of Bloody Marys, drink beer and bagwine until midway through the fourth quarter, and then break out the Tequila and Whiskey. If you wake up Monday morning and you remember who won the game, you suck and your party sucked.
Good food is a pre-requisite for a successful party…Chips and dip, chili, chicken wings, brats, meatballs, and just about anything deep fried. Assorted fruits and a nice Chicken Stir Fry do not constitute Super Bowl food. If you serve this at your party, your friends will beat the crap out of you and then order out for pizza on your dime. So just shut the hell up, sit your bony ass down, and enjoy a big serving of trans fat and cholesterol for a day.
Some people like to decorate. Going that extra step to dress up the place is nice, but I find that a decorating budget is better spent on condoms and a good strong disinfectant for the post-game clean-up. One final note, if you have young children, send them away to a relative’s house for the night. You don’t want your big party spoiled by the kids crying after they witness Mommy spot you groping her best friend’s ample rack, and then see Mommy break a beer bottle over your head. Oh I know, the two of you will later have rough, drunken, make-up sex on the kitchen floor, but the initial shock to the children could be a huge buzzkill.
So folks, there you have it. I think that these Super Bowl Party basics offer you a pretty good road map to a successful weekend. I am always here to help each and every one of you, because darn it, you guys are swell. I may be back later today with a few insights on what to look for in the actual game. If not, enjoy your Super Bowl weekend, and I’ll see you Monday.
Cheers!!
Note: For Fans of “Stream of Consciousness Friday” It Appears Below…
18 comments:
WOW this is amazing.. normally when I get here there are like a ka-billion comments already..
Perfect party planner you are...and I agree with it all.. BUT
"Oh I know, the two of you will later have rough, drunken, make-up sex on the kitchen floor, but the initial shock to the children could be a huge buzzkill."
umm don't you think the kids seeing you on the floor in the kitchen doing the deed would be even more destructive to the kids? "Daddy, you are hurting mommy....." and then you feel the skillet coming down on your head KAPOW!
HaHa thats great Matt-Man I be deep frying a 20 pounder turkey and I well be hammered drunk! hopefully I wont burn myself this year!!
Hiya Bond...Plenty of comments down below on my SOCF post down below. You mean to tell me that watching your mom and dad have drunken sex on the kitchen floor wasnt nurturing? Odd...
Get really hammered before you drop it into the fryer Roger.
Matt's the partaaaay man!
Those wings look mighty yummy and the beer too...mmmmm...beer!
Yes they do Jillie but it puts me in a conundrum...White or Red Wild Irish Rose with wings? Decisions, decisions....Cheers.
Normally I'd be right there with you on this one, Matty, but this year since I actually CARE about the outcome of the game, I gotta be alone. Can't be around people. Things might get really fugly....
Ha....I'll be rootin' for the Colts right along with you Songbird. I got my vote in for you today. Enjoy the game. Cheers!!
Damn, I want to go that kind of superbowl party. Sounds better than the game.
You are most welcome to stop by Hammer, and thanks fo rstopping by here. Have a great weekend, and Cheers!!
Oh, Matty me boy, thanks for the vote. At least you and SgtDub love me!
MY mom and dad? No i was talking about the time I saw YOUR mom and dad on the kitchen floor...
Yeah thanks Matty--I am sick and will likely not be well enought to attend my friend's drunken stoned free for all on Sunday. It's about my favorite, well next to St Pat's and damnation I am gonna be stuck at home with the dogs and DH. Oh the humanity
Oh--You have fun though--SMOOCH
I... must.... have..... WINGS!!!!
Sounds like the Perfect party!
I think I want to watch the game at YOUR house!!
I´m prud owner of TV and radio, about a ton of decoration, my alcohol pool is large enough to be dangerous, the chicken wings I prepare are the very best in my part of the world BUT
I can´t watch the Super Bowl because I LIVE IN THE WRONG COUNTRY!
Not broadcasted... not broadcasted... not bro *crying my eyes out* adcasted!!!
So, this super bowl, its important is it? Food sounds good, though you missed the nachos
Songbird: Of course we do!!
Bond: Now that is disgusting!!
TB: Poor thing...I'll drink your share for ya!!
Cheesy: Mmmmmmmn yes....wings.
Wayne: Yes it does....Thanks for stopping by.
Aisby: You, my friend are always welcome. I hope the classes are going well for you.
Sanni: You poor thing. At least the comments are working again!!
Boy: Yes it's a National event. And yo uare correct, I need to get some Nachos.
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