It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiday so take a hot stick, poke me in the eye, and call me Matt-Clops. What the hell my eyesight is 20/700 anyway and yet corrected to 20/15 go figure. I was glad to see the cable channels following the Anna Nicole carcass being delivered to the airport. Wow, what would we do without that video!? Did you know that video killed the radio star? I’m on a Mexican radioooo, I’m on a Mexican whoa oh radioooo.The pants that I am wearing pop up at the crotch when I sit. It makes me look like I have a ginormous hard-on. I am going to kill Laura for putting that word, ginormous, in my head. Hold on I need to get a drink of water…Ahhhhh very good. I have nothing planned for the weekend. Whatever shall I do? Oh I don’t know….Drink!!? That would certainly be sooooo unlike me. I mean, if I drank something other than bagwine all weekend. I have a cramp in my neck so I have to turn my entire body if I want to look to my left. SOB it hurts!!!!!!!
I had an incredibly satisfying bowel movement this morning. This meatless Lent thing may be working out….so to speak. By Easter Sunday my colon will be stronger than Pee Wee Herman’s desire to masturbate in a theatre!! Rikki Tikki Tavi and do re mi. Oh sorry…I wonder if I really will go to hell for my latest posts. And if so, will hell be a place where Condaleeza Rice strips for me to the tune “Sugar Shack”? Or even worse, the stripper would be Jessica Alba and as she is making me hot, she rips off her tight skirt and reveals a huge diseased wanker where her hoo-ha should be. Ooooooooo the horror!!
How’s that Iraq thing workin’ out? Making progress? No? Dick Cheney is Brilliant!! Frickin’ moron. I wonder how he would taste if he was roasted over an open flame with some onions and herb butter. Probably not very good, but I bet his cooked flesh could feed an entire battalion. Conway Twitty had a great voice. I miss him. My thumb is twitching…what’s up with that?
Well folks, per Frank Drebbin, it’s time to move along….nothing to see here. Have a great weekend. Spend it having sex in the kitchen while you’re making deep fried tilapia. See you all Monday, and of course, Cheers!!
Tonight’s Meatless Lenten Menu: Mrs. Paul’s breaded fish filets and mixed vegetables
53 comments:
MMMMM Tilapia... pass the tartar sauce! But if I'm frying anything... I'll have my wild sex in the dining room thank you very much.
How many of you folks were affected by the big stock market plunge? Four hundred points, the stock market dropped 400 points. And big corporations were really, really affected by it. As a matter of fact, Taco Bell had to lay off 200 rats. Yeah, the market drops 400 points and, today, out of habit, JetBlue apologized. Prince Charles says he wants to ban McDonald’s. He said banning McDonald’s is the key to living a healthy lifestyle. Really? Why did he single out McDonald’s? I think banning Dominos would make more sense. They deliver the junk food to your house. At least with McDonalds you have to get off your fat ass and walk to your car. Prince Charles says he wants to ban McDonald’s to teach people that excess is bad. Who better to teach people that excess is bad than a guy who lives in a giant castle? A new poll finds that President Bush's father, George Bush, is the most popular living ex-President. Apparently voters were just excited to hear the words 'George Bush' next to the phrase 'ex-President.' According to a report by a genealogist, Al Sharpton's ancestors were slaves once owned by Strom Thurmond's relatives. Now Al Sharpton wants a DNA test to see if they are related. And you know, somehow, this is going to end up that Strom Thurmond is the the father of Anna Nicole's baby....
sorry the dog has been backed up... so I celebrated her release with a huge stream....
HA...Well done, bravissimo Cheesy. The Prince Charles thing is such a joke. I hear he only goes to Burger KING...Y'know, what? Hold on a sec...Did I...sorry gotta go now.
You make me hot when you release a huge stream...Thanks for the set-up ; )
Did you???.... make a tent thinking about meat?
Well if you liked that stream check this out...
www.goldenshower.gs
Yes I did Cheesy, alas it was merely a pup tent. I'll pass on the golden shower.
Ginormous?
Ginormous loaves of Spam would be good about now, correct?
Oh and sex in the kitchen is quite nice ;-)
Kitchen sex is great, especially if one owns a good hand held mixer.
LOLOLOL
I guess that would put a different sort of twist on it ;-)
BADDA BING!
Twist, spin, whatever.
You're awfully chatty today Cheesy One!!
Well they don't call me "turn" for nothing
Check please...
Wait...how am I supposed to have sex in the kitchen while making tilapia if I don't know what it is? I need a recipe or something. That's not nice to leave me with this kind of expectations and no way to fulfill them!
I hate those type of pants on men...wait, no I don't.
Peace
That WAS very unthoughtful of me Raven. Tilapia is a type of fish. You can just use frozen fish sticks if you'd like. Cheers!!
Odat: I believe the company that makes these particular pants is called "Unfulfilled Promises"
I hope you don't wear those pants when you eat out, Matt.
Deep-frying tilapia is good, but...the thought of getting splattered with hot oil as a possible result of your suggestion is somewhat scary.
Have a great weekend!
Here is your martini meal. BTW, how long is this lent thing? How many recipes am I going to need?
Spagehtti Puttanesca
4 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion chopped
2 garlic cloves chopped
1 or 2 red chilis sliced
6 anchovy fillets, chopped
400 grams of tomatoes chopped
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
100 grams of pitted black olives
2-3 tablespoons of capers
400 grams of spaghetti
Heat oil in large skillet and onion, garlic and chili. Fry gently for about 6 minutes and anchovies and cook stirring well.
Add tomatoes, oregano, olives and capers and bring to boil. Reduce heat and season and simmer
Meanwhile, cook pasta and add to sauce.
Chatty... yes.... I'm home alone with a sick dog... and a Golden Retriever that thinks everything I offer to Ann HE should taste... I think I may slowly go MADDDDDDDD...
Why didnt the vet send home tranquilizers for me?
Lizza I need all of thehelp I can get!! And frying nekkid is like livin gon the edge. Have a great weekend yourself and cheers.
Hiya Adav. I have had something similar to that, but w/o anchovies, and I DO love anchovies. Lent lasts until Easter. Have a good weekend Adav and thanks.
Cheesy, you poor thing. Have you any whiskey handy!?
Ginormous hard-on, huh?
Don't look a gift horse int he mouth Matt.
It's likelyt he first time the word ginormous has ever been used to desribe your crotch.
BOO-YAAA! ;)
Steve~
It is indeed. Prior to that, the best thing it had ever been called was spontaneous, but that was only because it worked only when it wanted to, not when it had to. Now go board a cruise ship. Cheers!!
Aaarghhh! I'm caught in the stream and flushing fast!
Save me!!!!
Have a great weekend, Matty me boy.
Love ya!
How hard was it? Throw me that football!
Hang On Songbird!! I'll grab ya. Have a good one yourself, and a big dose of Bagwine love right back at ya.
Football? If only that were true TK...It's more like a hockey puck. Cheers!!
Whiskey?!? Grand idea... I'm going to start the weekend early!
Spam can opening
aromas drifting upward
such heavenly meat
Yeah I'm going to start the weekend in about 90 minutes Cheesy. Cheers!!
TB: Black Beans are my shepherd, I shall not want.
Hve a great weekend Matt ..now that ever fantsy of Jessica Alba is ruined (trying to run my mental delete)avoid the temtation of the evil meat!
Yeah Roger, I guess ruining an image as sexy as Jessica Alba is akin to cutting one's self in an act of self-mutilation. Have a good one my friend and remember me if you hit the Lottery...Cheers!!
Satan's whore dances
Drenched in Spam juice she beckons
Matty's drool lengthens
Darlin Matt - I am pissed as a newt....and trying not to throw up my steak - fecking bowel movements....I should know better than to come here after supper....aaagh.
Thanks for the birthday email - Haloscan is a naughty little fucker today.....but never mind - have had the most fabulicious day.
Good for you Wendz. Keep the good B-Day feelings right through the weekend. Sorry 'bout the bowels, but they weigh so heavily on my mind....Cheers!!
Do you wish you were in Tijuana eating BBQ's iguana....
Turnbaby sent me to tease you about meat but I am too sloshed to do a haiku so will settle for this..
steak and beef and pork and bacon and ham and ..and...lamb..yum yum yum I can have it in my tum...coz I aint lenting and you are... you poor bum..
smooches from France -
hic
LOLOLOL @ Wenz!
Oops...that should have said BBQ'd NOT BBQ's...duh!
Sorry dude, I just can't get past the picture. Are there words with this? In fact, I'm trying to move her garment a bit to the left and now my screen is all smudged.
Why does life have to be so complicated??
My pants do the same thing!
You have a good w'end too Matt-man!!
You lost me after I got distracted by the Alba photo, but I recovered. Funny stuff. Found your blog through Steven Novak's. I'll be back to read more.
Spent the last half hour catching up. Some really good irreverant stuff here. LMAO dude!
Hey - I'll take that suggestion about sex in the kitchen, but do I really have to cook the thingy??? See, I get distracted...what with the sex part...I don't wanna burn the meal.
Hello, Darlin!
Glad to provide a Rachael Ray-ism for you, Matt-Man. Fish is good. It helps with the no meat thing, I'd think.
LOLOLOL @Wendz
In my haiku fervor I forgot to mention that love that stupid "I'm on a Mexican radio " song and the video especially where he pokes his head up through the beans
and
cause you know I had to
a little breakfast
Bacon crisp and crunchy
Aroma of heaven true
Lying next to sausage
Turnbaby, "...you're an Evil Woman!"
You mean there's another use for the kitchen besides sex?
Dammit, now I have the song "Sugar Shack" stuck in my head.
HAHAHA..the more i read your blog, the more i can't believe it's you writing. LOL.
Maybe because I have a lecturer who looks a little like you and is nothing like you. Haha~
:)
btw, 2 days ago, i forgot i gave up tidbits and munched on them.
*looks around guiltily*
:P
Mags: I'm glad you like it, but really the tidbits!? I am shocked, nay outraged!! ; )
Janna: That is one horrible song my friend. Sorry...
Anndi: Ha. Very good you vixen you. Cheers!!
Songbird: She is Satan's concubine.
TB: I am unable to be tempted. My faith is deep and the shrimp are deep fried.
Laura: Fish does in fact take the edge off. Kinda like vicodin to a heroin addict.
Travis: Make a salad!!
James: Thanks for stopping by and dont be a stranger. Jessica is indeed quite a distraction!
Jillie: Is that a good tune or what!?
Wendz: Wow smooches to me from you. You really must be drunk!! Cheers...
Dan: Thanks for stopping. Yes there are words. They say, "I love Matt-Man" No, really!!
Eyechan: Does that makes us crotch twins!?
Flavor Flav!!!!
The hills are alive with the sound of music...
Julie Andrews has nice cans!!!
Freak!!
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