Streaming Friday !!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiiiday so let loose the pigeons and cover your head. Newt Gingrich says that he was having an affair at the same time that he was trying to impeach President Clinton. I find this terribly repulsive…I mean, how the hell can Newt get laid and I can’t!!? I am working on a script for a porno movie starring Jesus and Mary Magdalene. It’s called “The Savior Always Comes Twice”. Do you hear me Russ Meyer? Of course he can’t. He’s dead. Is it wrong to like show tunes?

I need to shave because my goatee is becoming less defined. I’m losing that edgy poet look. I may put an earring in this weekend. I haven’t worn one in quite awhile. Thirteen days until I fly to D.C. for my nephew’s wedding. I’m feeling hungover already. The worst thing about the trip is that I have to fly into Reagan International Airport. Why would they name an airport after the demon child in The Exorcist? Kinda creepy.

I was thinking about voting for Barack Obama for President next year until he said that he was going to quit smoking. What a pussy. Can’t handle your tar Senator? Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice; you must be pretty fricking desperate. I have no idea what’s for meatless Lenten dinner tonight…maybe black beans, tomatoes, and corn. That will look delightful when I go to the bathroom tomorrow morning. Wouldn’t you freak if you went to the bathroom to pinch a loaf and a light bulb came out of your ass? Aint no sunshine when she’s gone.

Ernest Gallo died at the age of 97 the other day, which proves the point…drinking bagwine results in longevity. I think sometimes bagwines act as a type of embalming preservative, allowing one to continue on even though the person has become a drooling, rambling idiot from brain cell loss. Swiss cheese is delicious, and I have an itch on my elbow. I wonder if President Bush has ever peed in an alley. I’m guessing yes, and I don’t even like the guy. Beyonce’, Yum-Oh!! Did Peter Paul Mary?

I like the word “mukluk”. I hate wearing socks and in a month or so I won’t have to because it will be WARM!! We are supposed to turn our clocks ahead one hour this weekend in the U.S. This gives us an extra hour of sunlight. Wouldn’t it be funny if nobody told the sun!? Solar humor at it’s finest. I have a flare for solar humor. ‘Scuse me, while I kiss the sky. Yaga Boo Yaga Boo Yaga Yaga Booooooooooo!!

Have a great weekend folks. I am going to spend mine wrapped in saran wrap and see how fresh I stay. Enjoy your time and I’ll see ya all Monday. CHEERS!!