Today, in some religions marks Holy Thursday. A day that recalls the Last Supper, Judas going through with his kiss in the garden of Gethsemane, and Jesus washing the incredibly dirty digits of the feet of his disciples. (In fact, I hear that the disciple Thomas had an incredibly disgusting hammer toe, but some doubt that.) More importantly, this day reminds me that I am only roughly 70 hours away from an overtly, unabashed Meat-Fest of biblical proportions.
Evidently the Last Supper has raised many questions. Did Jesus actually transform some tasteless piece of flat bread into his flesh and some bagwine into his blood? The bigger question being, if he did do this would you really want to eat and drink it? I mean, Son of God or not, Christ had to be pretty dirty and I bet there were more than a few spirochetes swimming through his blood courtesy of some down time with Mary Magdalene.
The DaVinci Code of course, asks the question, is that Mary Magdalene next to Christ or the disciple John? If it is John, he’s not only one of the 12 disciples he’s a Jewish drag queen. In fact if alive today he would be preaching the gospel to Las Vegas tourists, as well as doing two shows a night at Lucky Cheng’s. Shake that money maker John…or is that Joan!?
I guess the only undeniable fact is that the Last Supper is the last time these guys and/or woman ate before Jesus toiled through a Not-So-Good Friday. Well, there is one exception. I heard that Judas was so overcome with guilt for betraying Christ that he, like many even today, sought comfort and solace in food. I guess he was seen gorging himself on knishes and smoked salmon. I hear he was even spotted at the popular Jerusalem eatery, “McDavid’s”, devouring Goliath Macs and McBlintzes by the dozen. Sad.
Well that leaves us with one other piece of history…Jesus washing everybody’s feet. I like Christ, love you all so much that I have decided to virtually wash the feet of each and everyone one of you. I have licked my computer monitor with great fervor so if you get time today put your nekkid feet up to my site and consider them washed. I know that Deb has some foibles about feet, which you can read about HERE, so Deb, I give to you a virtual No-Touch Pedicure.
I may or may not post again later, but I will definitely be back tomorrow for Stream of Consciousness Good Friiiiiday. Until then, Pax Vobiscum and Cheers!!
Evidently the Last Supper has raised many questions. Did Jesus actually transform some tasteless piece of flat bread into his flesh and some bagwine into his blood? The bigger question being, if he did do this would you really want to eat and drink it? I mean, Son of God or not, Christ had to be pretty dirty and I bet there were more than a few spirochetes swimming through his blood courtesy of some down time with Mary Magdalene.
The DaVinci Code of course, asks the question, is that Mary Magdalene next to Christ or the disciple John? If it is John, he’s not only one of the 12 disciples he’s a Jewish drag queen. In fact if alive today he would be preaching the gospel to Las Vegas tourists, as well as doing two shows a night at Lucky Cheng’s. Shake that money maker John…or is that Joan!?
I guess the only undeniable fact is that the Last Supper is the last time these guys and/or woman ate before Jesus toiled through a Not-So-Good Friday. Well, there is one exception. I heard that Judas was so overcome with guilt for betraying Christ that he, like many even today, sought comfort and solace in food. I guess he was seen gorging himself on knishes and smoked salmon. I hear he was even spotted at the popular Jerusalem eatery, “McDavid’s”, devouring Goliath Macs and McBlintzes by the dozen. Sad.
Well that leaves us with one other piece of history…Jesus washing everybody’s feet. I like Christ, love you all so much that I have decided to virtually wash the feet of each and everyone one of you. I have licked my computer monitor with great fervor so if you get time today put your nekkid feet up to my site and consider them washed. I know that Deb has some foibles about feet, which you can read about HERE, so Deb, I give to you a virtual No-Touch Pedicure.
I may or may not post again later, but I will definitely be back tomorrow for Stream of Consciousness Good Friiiiiday. Until then, Pax Vobiscum and Cheers!!
20 comments:
Huh.
Wow.
I'm rendered speechless, and I can't explain why.
You? Speechless, Songbird? I guess I DO have divine powers!!
Well, I won't argue with you there, Matt: you ARE DIVINE!
BTW, when I was a kid, I used to love divinity (the candy). How apropos.
HA...It's the residual Catholic in me baby!!
Goliath Macs and McBlintzes!
mmmm... a McBlintz actually sounds good right now....
Mary Magdalene looks mighty pretty in that painting.
-N
Mo: Yeah a McBlintz doesnt sound bad at all...I heard that I should order the Number VI. It's the McReuben Combo...Comes with Goat's Milk and Cheesy Fries. Somebody Super Size me!!
Nat: Are you saying that she's hot enough to "convert" you? Cheers...
I think in all of the church going I had to do as a kid and Sunday school, I have read more in these days of lent than I have in 45 years!
HOLY CANOLI!
Jillie: I am just trying save souls and inform the masses ye of the wonderfully supple breasts. Cheers!!
I'll be so glad when you go back to eating meat---the madness has got to end!
Smooch
Madness? Or Divine Genius? Muwhawhawhawha. Cheers!!
Dirty feet. EWW! Thanks for offering to lick us clean of our sins, Matt-Man.
Are you going to have the meat chosen by the number one answer in your poll, or are you going to go your own way? Maybe eat all of the meats together? A bacon, sausage and cheese spamburger? That sounds pretty good, actually.
46.7% of your readers say it's SPAMAOT first!
Bone appetito!
Oh baby anything foot related and I'm yours... I remove my shoes. My eyeglasses rest on the corner of my desk. I want to take my hair down, but it seems too much a hassle. Mattsiah kneels before me. His face is soft, inquisitive, and a little mischievous. He peers into me with this expression while washing my tired feet. Leaning nearer, his breath is hot against my ankle when he whispers how he loves my imagination, how he craves my sensitivity [and some bacon]. His hands move up my legs, along my inner thighs... wait I need a shower.
As an ordained Saint in the Mattlic Church I have no choice but to allow you to wash my feet.
The shaving of the testicles however is something that i shall not participate in.
Call me a heretic if you will, but I believe the fact that i have sent the AposMats Guido and Bruno to have a confessional conversation with Mr. Hinn and his evil-doers Paul, Jan and Rod, I am sure you will agree that my testicles shall remain untouched by you...
Now, if you find your Mary Magdeline (and guarantee that it is not John in drag, we will consider the Shaving of the Balls.
I think your lack of meat has you speaking in tongues!...which isn't really so bad when you think about it....soooooooooooooooooooooo (not that this next thought has anything to do with what i just said)........when Monday rolls around........SHOW ME THE MONKEY!!
pEACE
I must be hungry, because a "Goliath Mac" sounds really good right now.
Now do I want to go to "McDavid's" or "Burger Messiah..."
Er, "Matt-siah."
Sorry.
A lapsed catholic, those priests sure do a good job of turning folks away from religion. The buggers!
So Judas had fast food for his last meal? Pathetic bugger.
Laura: You hit the nail on the head...er...perhaps an unfortunate use of that phrase.
Morgen: SPAM it shall be!!
Cheesy: Upon reading that, I felt something within me resurrecting!!
Bond: Tell Guido and Bruno that the Lord appreciates their work. And just like I told Travis, those of us older than 18 are grandfathered in without shaving, so tell your boys to relax.
Odat: So let it be written,,,so let it be done.
Janna: Isnt imaginary food simply Yum-OH?
Cathy: Sometimes I thinkk Catholicism is the leading cause of Atheism. Cheers!!
Lizza: Judas, a putz to the end.
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