First of all, if you have youngsters who are getting out of control and interrupting the
When you look into your cooler and find that you are low on ice and the beer is getting warm, don’t panic. Just grab a hold of Ann Coulter and put the beer between Ann Coulter’s legs. She will have that 12 pack iced up in no time. Just remember to wipe those cob webs away prior to serving.
Ladies, a little advice. Do not tell your man how you would like your steak cooked by using the words rare, medium, or well done. Put it in terms of how many beers he should drink while grilling it. Two beers is rare…Four beers is medium…Six beers is well done. Of course if you say twelve beers that means that you cannot stand the sight of him anymore and you want your steak to go. (Trust me on that one!!)
Lastly, when your uptight, right wing, evangelical, trophy wife neighbor comes up to you and asks, “Gee, brats and burgers again? Can’t you grill something healthier like salmon?” The appropriate reply to her is, “No. Anybody who grills salmon at a backyard cookout is a big pussy. And by the way, don’t even ask me to grill eggplant bitch.”
I hope these tips are useful to you.
Matt-Man: Burn my bratwurst, and gimme a bloody burger. Cheers!!
24 comments:
What about a grilled vegetable medley? Oh..or boca burgers?
That was a joke :P
Seriously I might grill the trophy wife.
Being a bitch is a good thing Cheesy. Just do it with flair!
I wanna be a trophy wife but I guess I'd have to eat salmon and I don't like salmon.
I'm glad you explained about the potato. I was afraid there was an anatomical problem with teddy.
Very scary picture Matt! Somewhat akin to the teddy bear in the dryer in another blog. How horrific.
Grilling,BBQing, cooking out! It's what summer's all about!
Grill on!
Great pic!!! Poor lil animals!!!
and Hey, if you don't cook me my salmon....bag oboon gets it!!!
Peace
Too damn hot here to grill out. We do our grilling in the winter.
Yes, I know that seems bassackwards to y'all back east, but that's the way we desert rats live.
Have a beer, Matty, and pass me a bratwurst, would ya?
Starrlight: Yeah nothing like hot grilled veggies on a warm summer day. I like your idea for the wife!! Cheers!!
Cheesy: You can use my grill to cook your eggplant but I will have no part of it!!
Marilyn: I thought some people may wonder if that was Ted's appendage. Cheers!!
Julie: It had to be scary to ward off bad chil behavior. Cheers!!
Odat: Are you threatening my monkey over a piece of Fish!?
Songbird: You dont know how long I have waited for you to ask me that!!
Love your ideas! can't wait to use the beer timer with my husband. he's gonna love it. I like a 4-5 beer steak myself.
I like a 4-5 beer steak as well Lisa, but as I quickly as I drink, that comes out to a pretty damn rare steak. Cheers!!
Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm in a pissy ass mood, so just shut up, do it, and the flock outta my way, 'kay?
Cheers yourself, butthead.
[[grinning]]
LOL Desert you sound like you need a 4-5 beer steak too! Pissy mood here as well.
LOL Desert you sound like you need a 4-5 beer steak too! Pissy mood here as well.
Songbird: I know you have "issues" right now...I offer you a big glass of lemonade that is half Stoli!! Friends!?
Starrlight: Wow pissy as well? Have some of what I just offered Songbird!!
I've got this BBQ thing all worked out. I got no place to do my grilling, so we head over to my buddy's place and he does all the work!
matt-man, are you shooting those beers? or just drinking 4-5 beers before you light the grill? ;-) either way, sounds like a fun grilling party!
Travis: You are the epitome of American ingenuity!! Cheers my friend..
Lisa: With all the drinking that goes on while I cook, it's not only fun, there's also an exciting element of danger!!
Matt Man, if you are reaching between the uber bitches legs for a 12 pack, I bet you were going to find more of a surprise then cobwebs.
I hope those brats get a beer bath before serving
Sparky: I bet it would get colder faster if I put it next to her heart, and yes, gotta bathe the brats. Cheers!!
I've just lot any appetite thinking of what's hiding in the she-monsters hell hole *blech*
Pass me a beer--fast!!
Consider it passed TB. I guess it was evil of me to mention Annthrax Coulter. Cheers!!
Keep Coulter away from my beers!! I'd rather drink it warm than have it anywhere near her nethers!! I'll take a brat if you're offering (and I don't mean someone's kid!)
HA!! "Brat" good one. Cheers!!
No, Matt, you know I truly love your monkey!
Peace
Cathy: Your taste in meat is impeccable. Cheers!!
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