Streaming Friday!!

It’s Stream of Consciousness Friiiiiiday so dip me in bacon grease and drop me into the Gaza Strip because those crazy Palestinians are at it again. I hear that Hamas has taken over control in Gaza replacing the government of the Palestinian Authority. One question….how can you tell? I mean does this mean that the rubble will be more or less and will their rock throwing and tunnel digging technology improve? What a freakin’ mess.

Bring me the head of John the Baptist. My legs are still killing me, but I do appreciate all of the concern some of you have shown me through your comments by calling me a big pussy…You are all so caring. Did Al Gore Jenna’s Bush?

I have an answer to the illegal Mexican immigration problem in America. Let’s just throw down the gauntlet and deport anyone whose last name ends in -ez, -a, or -o. Sure this may result in the inadvertent deportation of Italian-Americans, but is that such a bad thing? In one fell swoop we can rid our country not only of sweaty migrant tomato pickers and hotel maids, but we can also rid ourselves of disreputable spaghetti peddlers and organ grinders. This will allow the Irish in this country to hold a nationwide keg party and bingo game. Oh sure, the sphincter cinctured bible beating Anglo-Saxon evangelicals will raise Hell, but we can easily kick their ass…especially when we’re drunk. Boo Yah Pat Robertson and blow my rod. Man, I need to shave.

This week has been busy…I have been havin’ fun with my son. He better reward me when Father’s Day rolls around Sunday. Actually he has already rewarded me by being one helluva good kid. My left leg and ass cheek are still tight and sore as heck. I feel like Kaiser Wilhelm kicked me in the butt 73 times with an iron boot. Today could be a good one. I had a healthy and satisfying morning constitutional. I can dig that. I feel pretty.

My mind is swirling. Today is National Blood Donation day so give blood. Give extra because I can’t. I just figure if I give blood it may end up in the veins of a recovering alcoholic and just ruin his or her recovery process. Some people have O-Negative, some have O-Positive, mine is O-God!! I’m going to listen to Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris today. I’m going to Donkey Town.

We have had very little rain of late. The worst thing about this is that when the homeless piss down the roadside gutters it turns to steam before it reaches the drain. Holy Crap!! What a stench!! The urine cloud is a hue of gray/yellow and smells like a mix of ammonia and cheeseburgers that have cured in a dumpster. Whew!!

I just got a call from a friend of mine. He’s driving over from Columbus and gonna spend a few at the Bagwine Abode today. I haven’t taken a shower yet but that’s okay because he’s of Polish descent and is used to foul smells. (Warsaw ghetto , anyone?) Wow, could my post be more filled with ethnic stereotypes today?…Yes, it could, but that would disrupt the evenness of the post thereby pissing off the Dutch who like things to split evenly….Sorry Songbird.

Well folks, I must get ready for my buddy’s arrival. Enjoy your weekend and don’t forget to check back this weekend for some Father’s Day fun. To all of you Fathers out there, Happy Father’s Day and spend it having extra-marital sex. Until tomorrow, Cheers!!